Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇷 has downloaded:

If you turn your phone upside down, the stock market is actually doing quite well.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has viewed:

Today I started gardening. I planted myself in front of the TV and I sat there the entire day.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has shared:

Just realised if I have a kid, they’re likely to see the year 2100… WTF?

Someone from 🇹🇻 has shared:

Once I see a vein on your forehead while we arguing, I’ll let you be.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has bookmarked:

Everybody loves that comfort food until you end up with that comfort body.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has downloaded:

Big fan of calling artists their first name and then the band name as their last name.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has copied:

Anyone else brush their teeth in the shower so they can get a little sloppy with it, or is that just me?

Someone from 🇸🇿 has bookmarked:

I only went to medical school to figure out where your arms are supposed to go when you sleep and they didn’t even teach us that.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has bookmarked:

Enjoy the time between diapers!

Someone from 🇨🇲 has downloaded:

Update on my fitness journey: My wife just handed me a bag of apples at the market and said, “careful, it’s heavy.”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,624

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on YouTube:

But are we sure that stomachs are meant to be flat?

Seen just now on Reddit:

Finally figured out why I look so bad in pictures – it’s my face.

Breaking via X:

We were never supposed to have this much access to stupid people’s thoughts, beliefs, and opinions.

Making waves on Slack:

It’s so rude how many of you have the audacity to be out peopling around whenever I go somewhere.

Just landed via TikTok:

Everything’s under control. I just don’t know whose.

Shared recently on X:

Hey! Remember in the first grade when we were all just chilling and then some kid would throw up out of nowhere?

Spotted on X:

Oh, I didn’t tell you? Must have been none of your business, then.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Behold the majestic elephant in its natural habitat, the room.

Making waves on Facebook:

I woke up extra early today to get in as much ‘worrying about it being Monday tomorrow’ as possible.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Hangman is so great. No better way for a child to learn how to spell than by having to save a man from hanging to death.

Funny kidman quotes

New funny kidman quotes 👇

All funny kidman quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

72 shares on YouTube this month:

Within a week, we’ve had a major jewel heist, a mafia-involved poker ring, and sports gambling corruption. We’re living in the 1920s.

25 shares on LinkedIn this month:

This family has a lot of nerve wearing all these clothes after I just did laundry.

15 shares on Threads this month:

A bad relationship can ruin a good song.

94 shares on Twitch this month:

I just sneezed into my elbow and now I’m waiting for a preschool teacher to praise me.

65 shares on Discord this month:

My hair would never allow me to commit a crime. I really do leave my DNA everywhere.

55 shares on Discord this month:

“AI is coming for your jobs!” I would love to see AI be unemployed.

50 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Much of my algorithm is based on when I paused while scrolling to grab a snack.

54 shares on Telegram this month:

The shower is the only one who gets turned on when I’m naked.

98 shares on Snapchat this month:

I bet there’s a couple of seconds on that medieval torture stretcher rack where it feels incredible.

85 shares on Twitch this month:

Nobody is more stressed than a person who has a lot of interests or passions and is still confused about their career.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

18 folks are currently checking 👀

If you bring an acoustic guitar to a bonfire, I’m going to assume it’s for fuel.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Oh my God, “unc” means uncool. I thought it meant uncle. Like you’re carrying the energy of someone’s weird uncle.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Spotify: enjoy the next 30 minutes commercial free. Also Spotify: we have no concept of time.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t always have time to fold laundry, but when I do, I don’t.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

You don’t get to comment on the world until you’ve made your bed.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

If you ever get locked out of your house, talk to your lock calmly. Because communication is key.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard, and I’m like, cool, can one of you reach the top shelf for me.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s so hot out here, I saw a bird blowing on a worm before he ate it.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Moms be like, “Your cousin’s neighbor’s husband’s aunt died. Just thought you should know.”

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Hey! Sorry I missed your text, I am processing a non-stop 24/7 onslaught of information with a brain designed to eat berries in a cave.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,715

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇮 has copied:

Grok, put light in her eyes.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has downloaded:

“Left alone” would have been the right answer as a child to the question of what I wanted to be when I grew up.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has copied:

Sometimes I get really mad at myself, but not like mad enough to fight myself or anything like that.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has copied:

Making her wear those remote-controlled vibrating panties in public so I can inform her when I’m tired and want to leave the party.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has shared:

It’s the perfect time of year to focus on my indoor hobbies, like lying down in a dark room and feeling insane.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has shared:

To steal from one is plagiarism, to steal from many is research.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has downloaded:

According to the web, caffeine deficiency is a life threatening condition for people around you.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has copied:

The sexual tension between me and the alternate reality I daydream about.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has copied:

The more you embrace your crazy side, the more fun life becomes.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has bookmarked:

Eventually, kids get old enough to see which parent was the problem.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Reddit:

I wonder if my date ever found her way out of that corn maze.

Making waves on Discord:

Since I’ve stayed away from most people, I get on much better with people.

Making waves on Discord:

Eatіng іn bed іs much better. Everythіng’s a napkіn.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

“The engine light is on!” Yeah, that means it’s working.

Going viral on Discord:

I don’t want to stand, Apple Watch. You stand.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

You’re not stuck in traffic. You are traffic.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

If a woman says “Do what you want!”, then for God’s sake don’t do what you want!

Just shared via WhatsApp:

If I was a weather man, I’d leak the weather early to pretty women.

Just shared via Twitch:

Can drunk people actually not control their actions or is it just an excuse to do some crazy stuff?

Making waves on TikTok:

I’m a social media influencer in that I’ve influenced people to ignore me on social media.

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