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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇹 has bookmarked:

I believe that emails are trying to tell us something.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has bookmarked:

I don’t know how to explain it, but sometimes cheese just falls into my cart at the grocery store.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has bookmarked:

A toddler in their “why” phase makes you realize how little you know.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has downloaded:

Unfortunately, I do enjoy watching the downfall of people who did me wrong.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has shared:

My hair will never allow me to commit any crime; I leave my DNA everywhere.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has shared:

Santa Claus isn’t real. Ain’t no man checking a list twice.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has viewed:

Wearing white pants today, so it’s really just a matter of time before I spill something on myself.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has viewed:

I’m the only person breathing through my nose at this Walmart.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has bookmarked:

I don’t care if I’m standing in the window, if I said I ain’t home, I ain’t home.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has shared:

I get ignored so much, my name should be “terms and conditions”.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,592

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Telegram:

I hate when recipes tell you to take something out of the pan and add it back in later. No way bro. It’s staying in there.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

I could tell by the way she was pouring gasoline on a pile of my clothes that the relationship had hit some turbulence.

Going bananas on TikTok:

Traded my Fitbit in for a Sitbit.

Going bananas on Messenger:

“Have AI summarize this email for you!” No thanks, I can read what the person actually said in the way they intended.

Going bananas on TikTok:

People say I act like I don’t care. It’s not an act.

Freshly posted on Slack:

“So if I had kids, my kids would never…” Spoiler: Yes, they would.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Saw someone from high school. She said she hadn’t seen me in years. That’s likely because I’d always seen her first.

Going viral on TikTok:

Bands are always like “here’s another song”. Yeah, no shit, that’s pretty much all you do.

Shared recently on YouTube:

You don’t scare me, you’re not my ID photo.

Just shared via Threads:

Nobody sighs louder than an unemployed, debt-free dog who spends at least 16 hours a day sleeping.

Funny knighthood quotes

New funny knighthood quotes 👇

If you accept a knighthood, you should have to participate in at least one jousting tournament a year. The tournaments should be televised.

6 days ago

accept, entertainment, humor, jousting, jousting tournament, knighthood, least, medieval, should, sport, television, tournament, tradition, year

All funny knighthood quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

63 shares on Instagram this month:

I love putting on warm underwear fresh out of the dryer. Plus, it’s fun to look around the laundromat and guess who they belong to.

99 shares on Threads this month:

One thing no one mentions about being an adult is how much time you debate with yourself over keeping a cardboard box because it’s a really good box.

96 shares on X this month:

Never share a secret with a clock. Because time will tell.

27 shares on Reddit this month:

October is the situationship of months. So briefly beautiful, but you know the horrors are imminent.

93 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Gnocchi: The small, chubby children of spaghetti and potatoes.

26 shares on Discord this month:

They hooked up tubes and sensors, but the doctor still can’t figure out why my kisses are so sweet. They want to hold me overnight and “never let go.”

83 shares on LinkedIn this month:

My dogs have learned that whenever they hear the f-word in the kitchen, there’s now food on the floor.

93 shares on Reddit this month:

I miss when bills were none of my business.

20 shares on WhatsApp this month:

“Can my boyfriend come?” Will he contribute to our conversation, at least one question?

76 shares on YouTube this month:

If I’m ever murdered, I don’t want two women with a podcast solving the case in their spare time.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇰 has downloaded:

Every job is either 8 hours of getting exposed to cancer-causing chemicals or 8 hours of staring at a Microsoft Excel sheet.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has downloaded:

Hey there, Delilah, what’s it like in new orc city?

Someone from 🇷🇴 has bookmarked:

My kidnappers sent me back early with a full apology, some money, and several of their fingers.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has copied:

I’ve got a neighbor who’s really into morons. I should introduce her to you guys.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has copied:

This can’t be the life I protected with a mask in 2020.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has viewed:

“You tryna hang?” Yeah bro, myself!

Someone from 🇶🇦 has copied:

If you haven’t tried blindfold archery, you should give it a go. You don’t know what you’re missing.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has bookmarked:

I love being left to my own devices. It’s like yeah, these are my devices.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has copied:

Even in my early 20’s, I was diagnosed with late stage 40’s.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has shared:

I’m so hungry, I could eat my own cooking.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on X:

Do you ever look into your cats eyes and realize that a person is inside there?

Just shared via Twitch:

Your nose is in the middle of your face because it is the scenter.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Due to personal reasons, I’m evil now.

Trending via Pinterest:

Bob was hungry. He ripped open a new bag of tortillas only to discover a convenient, resealable opening on the other end.

Spotted on Telegram:

You know who else works in mysterious ways? Me.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

As a simulation, this all kinda sucks.

Making waves on Twitch:

The only thing smart about you is your wisdom tooth.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

A good audiobook will have you inventing chores to do.

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Activity Log ✨

Funny knighthood quotes

New funny knighthood quotes 👇

If you accept a knighthood, you should have to participate in at least one jousting tournament a year. The tournaments should be televised.

All funny knighthood quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨