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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇿 has copied:

I like running because it’s cheaper than paying for a gym membership. If the gym wants the money I owe them, they’ll have to catch me.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has downloaded:

You’ll never realize how crazy you really are until you fall in love.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has bookmarked:

Funny that all this nonsense just stayed in people’s heads before Twitter came along.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has copied:

You okay, babe? You’ve hardly touched the promises you made me.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has bookmarked:

If you can reach enlightenment, can you also reach endarkenment?

Someone from 🇵🇾 has viewed:

Starting to think business is standing on me.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has downloaded:

Out of sheer boredom, I opened the front door and rang the doorbell. I was so happy.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has downloaded:

Clueless but committed – that’s my vibe.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has bookmarked:

Demi Lovato is short for demilitarized love potato.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has shared:

I don’t understand people who say “I don’t know how to thank you.” Like they never heard of money.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2326 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,488

Funny Quotes Topics

15,192

Funny Quotes Images

12,488

Updated

45 minutes ago

Users Online

3,444

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Threads:

Due to inflation and tariffs, my love now costs a thing.

Shared recently on Messenger:

One thing no one mentions about being an adult is how much time you debate with yourself over keeping a cardboard box because it’s a really good box.

Freshly posted on X:

Sometimes you send an email that requires a response, and the other person writes back right away, and it’s like NO NOT YET.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

I am dressing for the job I want. I want to be a sweatpants model.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Tried online dating, and it turns out my soulmate is a Nigerian prince who needs my bank details to escape his kingdom.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

We’d never met, or even spoken, but I could tell just from gazing into her pale blue eyes I had stepped on her toe.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Being single: When you don’t have to wait for someone to watch the next Netflix episode.

Live now on WhatsApp:

I used to think money is everything. I still think money is everything.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Nothing is riskier than closing your eyes again in the morning for that extra minute of sleep.

Live now on Reddit:

You’d think the heat and humidity would steam some of the wrinkles out of my body.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2326 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,488

Funny Quotes Topics

15,192

Funny Quotes Images

12,488

Updated

45 minutes ago

Users Online

3,431

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇾🇪 has viewed:

All of humanities problems could be solved with a large meteor.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has downloaded:

Putting together a piece of furniture today, so my kids are about to learn swear words that haven’t even been invented yet.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has copied:

Who knew that the hardest part of being an adult is figuring out what to cook for dinner every single night for the rest of your life.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has copied:

Blowing kisses to my coworkers so that nobody talks to me today.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has bookmarked:

Whenever I feel like I hate my job, I remind myself that I could be a food taster for the emperor.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has viewed:

Pool rules: You’re not allowed to do anything that begins with the words ‘Hey everyone watch this!’

Someone from 🇨🇦 has downloaded:

I enjoy a glass of wine each night for its health benefits. The other glasses are for my witty comebacks and flawless dance moves.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has viewed:

Today, I noticed that the cover of my ironing board was wrinkled, and I laughed at the irony. Then I laughed again because of the word “irony.”

Someone from 🇬🇾 has downloaded:

I dreamt this night that I had died and when I woke up, a piece of me was actually already stiff.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has downloaded:

Problems are like balls. Everyone thinks they have bigger ones than you.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via WeChat:

If I sing “Hello” and you think of “Lionel Richie” and not “Adele,” then you can probably predict the weather with one of your knees.

Just landed via Discord:

Remember you are dust and, after you send this email, to dust you shall return.

Making waves on Discord:

Turtles made out of plastic, problem solved.

Trending via Messenger:

Drink coffee, avoid idiots, read books and repeat.

Going viral on Threads:

Getting old would be so fun if you didn’t wake up each morning with neck pain that suggests you slept hanging upside down like a bat.

Shared recently on Slack:

I don’t want to end this year on bad terms with anybody. Could you please apologize to me?

Freshly posted on YouTube:

What I lack in moves on the dance floor, I more than make up for in dancing around a conversation.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

I absolutely loooooove getting in the bed. The excitement of finally laying down? Unmatched.

Just landed via Snapchat:

I need like twelve incomes for this lifestyle I have in my head.

Spreading quickly via X:

If you don’t like sports, you are missing a whole world of easy-going conversations with complete strangers.

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