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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇳 has bookmarked:

Sorry, I’m late. My alarm didn’t go off because I didn’t set it, because I don’t want to be here.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has copied:

My boyfriend always complains that I never smile, but he’s the one who wanted a serious relationship.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has copied:

God sends you an only child as a friend to test you.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has viewed:

The audacity of my parents’ oldies station now playing 80s music.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has viewed:

Once you’ve been single for a long time, you realize how exhausting relationships can be.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has shared:

I’m like … if parking too far away from the curb was a person.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has copied:

Pesto is just an Italian word that means “produced by pounding”, so in a way we are all pesto.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has downloaded:

I can’t believe someone ran over my neighbors loud motorcycle tomorrow morning.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has bookmarked:

Twitter is like group therapy but everyone’s yelling and no one’s licensed.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has bookmarked:

My friend and I had a running joke. She said, “Let’s do a marathon,” and then we both laughed.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

804 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,966

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,966

38 minutes ago

3,445

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Twitch:

If we’re not meant to have midnight snacks, why is there a light in the fridge.

Spotted on Messenger:

So rude to come up with solutions to my excuses.

Broadcasted on Discord:

I would just once like to feel as powerful as a toddler throwing their sippy cup whilst sitting atop their high chair.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

If at first you don’t succeed, it’s only attempted murder.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Saw a guy reading a book and writing notes in it. Not enough words in there for ya, bud?

Making waves on Snapchat:

Santa keeps a pair of mounted antlers over his fireplace to keep the reindeer from unionizing.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

There are two types of people in the world, those who have to go to Walmart, and those who get to go to Walmart.

Making waves on Pinterest:

I know it’s true because the people on the internet said so.

Shared recently on X:

The most I’ve ever spent on a bottle of wine is about 45 minutes.

Making waves on Threads:

My Facebook friends are like my pen collection. I have 100 but only one writes.

Home » Funny Life Threatening Quotes

Funny life threatening quotes

New funny life threatening quotes 👇

5 months ago
Share →: According to the web, caffeine deficiency is a life threatening condition for people around you.

Commentary:
"Watch out! ☕️ If you see someone without their coffee, be warned – they might just be a ☠️ caffeine deficiency time bomb ready to explode! Remember folks, always carry a spare cup for safety. 😉"

For even more funny life threatening quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny life threatening quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

804 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,966

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,966

38 minutes ago

3,422

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇻 has viewed:

After weeks of using an anti aging cream, I can now proudly say: I now have very well-maintained wrinkles.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has bookmarked:

Damn, all this overthinking and I still be making dumb decisions.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has shared:

Does anyone else stare at the dead body in movies to see if you can catch them breathing?

Someone from 🇳🇱 has downloaded:

Today’s youth will never experience the pain of spending all their pocket money on a music album. Because of ONE good song!

Someone from 🇮🇳 has bookmarked:

It’s like 10,000 Tupperwares when all you need is a lid.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has viewed:

Never argue with an idiot. They will drag you down to their level and beat you with experience.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has shared:

Of all her outfits, my shirt and no underwear will always be my favorite.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has viewed:

I’m now at the age where sitting cross-legged on the floor is punishable by about three days of full-body paralysis.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has shared:

Girl cats get named after ancient goddesses and boy cats get named after Taco Bell menu items.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has downloaded:

I always sit in the middle stall so I have a bathroom buddy.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Pinterest:

Welcome to parenting! The only hobbies you have left are the ones you can do in the bathroom.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Women do not snore. The sound they make at night is just the rewinding of the vocal cords.

Just shared via Telegram:

There’s an epidemic of people just staring at their phones in their parked cars.

Trending via Facebook:

That’s kind of sexy of you to be a little weird.

Seen just now on X:

The word abbreviation sure is long for what it means.

Freshly posted on X:

Alexa, turn off the planet.

Spotted on TikTok:

The biggest problem with finding another job is I don’t want one.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

I can’t believe I’m supposed to obey ALL the traffic laws ALL the time.

Going viral on Pinterest:

A good way to get out of a conversation is to take off one of your socks and hand it to the person talking.

Making waves on X:

At the dispensary asking which strain will stop the yearning.

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