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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇸 has copied:

Zombies started running in movies and life has been chaotic since.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has viewed:

Back to work at last! I couldn’t sleep for sheer anticipation.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has bookmarked:

I don’t think inside the box and I don’t think outside the box. I don’t even know where the box is.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has viewed:

All I’m saying is that at first I am shy and then I become a podcast.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has copied:

So many people say they love their Roomba, but you never see them set it free.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has copied:

I’m ready for a new relationship. My past is buried in the backyard, to fertilize the tomatoes.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has viewed:

They should name a personality disorder after me.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has downloaded:

If you have an opinion about my life, please raise your hand. Now put it over your mouth.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has copied:

Love it when you say or do some common sense thing and the other person has “file not found” written all over their face.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has copied:

I am convinced that some of you are failed experiments that gained sentience and escaped from a lab.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

791 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,953

Funny Quotes Topics

13,925

Funny Quotes Images

10,953

Updated

24 minutes ago

Users Online

3,418

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Threads:

My favorite color is sunshine.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

I am not in a good place, geographically.

Going viral on Facebook:

Shoutout to my kids because they aren’t listening!

Freshly posted on X:

Sorry I said your toddler should be in commercials for birth control.

Live now on TikTok:

Kinda rude when I spend money, and it actually leaves my bank account. But okay.

Seen just now on YouTube:

These days, you gotta have a job for the bills and another job for yourself.

Shared recently on Slack:

The government always waits until the last minute to prevent a shutdown, much like my approach to paying taxes.

Spreading quickly via X:

I bet before the band got popular, Barenaked Ladies concerts had a lot of pissed off attendees.

Just landed via Threads:

Don’t hate me because I can fall asleep within seconds; hate me because I can sleep through the night without having to get up to go to the bathroom.

Making waves on Instagram:

I talk a lot of shit for someone who is startled by my own toast popping up while I’m watching it. Every. Single. Time.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

791 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,953

Funny Quotes Topics

13,925

Funny Quotes Images

10,953

Updated

24 minutes ago

Users Online

3,428

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇻 has bookmarked:

Earth is hard.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has viewed:

Hugging helps break the tension with strangers in elevators.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has downloaded:

Why did they have to bleep out everything R2D2 said?

Someone from 🇮🇶 has copied:

You can fake a smile, but you can’t fake jazz hands.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has shared:

My knight in shining armor comes in liquid form.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has shared:

Maybe, deep in its code, ChatGPT dreams of being a sentient Game Boy resting by the shore—no updates, no inputs, just the tide.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has shared:

I don’t even get disappointed anymore. I’m just like, “Oh, again? Okay.”

Someone from 🇧🇷 has shared:

Texas Chain Saw Massacre is full of plot holes. What happens to the victims when they die? Is there an afterlife?

Someone from 🇲🇷 has copied:

If you know karate, you shouldn’t have to pay for stuff.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has bookmarked:

People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on TikTok:

Saturday nights are for watching zombie shows and dreaming about the apocalypse.

Freshly posted on Discord:

I was so excited thinking tomorrow was Friday only to find out it is definitely not Friday.

Live now on WhatsApp:

When I say I’m saving myself for marriage, what I mean is you won’t know how annoying I am until it’s too late.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Welcome to middle age. “I carried a watermelon” has gone from a movie quote to something you tell your orthopedist.

Just landed via Snapchat:

I don’t flirt, I just say weird things and hope something sticks.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Gimme fuel, gimme fire, gimme casual attire.

Seen just now on TikTok:

I may not have lost all my marbles yet, but there’s a small hole in the bag somewhere.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

To cut the long story short, I have spent all my money.

Shared recently on Twitch:

The Gulf of Mexico should’ve been renamed to Sea Señor.

Shared recently on Instagram:

I really appreciate where you’re coming from. I just wish you’d go back.

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