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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇨 has viewed:

Getting a wife is very powerful, because you get a personal psychic that will tell you things like, “Your keys are in the gray pants in the hamper,” and “He will ultimately betray you.”

Someone from 🇦🇷 has bookmarked:

Going to bed early is easy, going to sleep early is a whole other set of problems.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has shared:

Everyone focused on the lip filler, but it’s really the chin filler that is the real villain.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has shared:

I am crumbling under the tyranny of constantly needing to ‘Create an Account’.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has shared:

If you respond, “A reason for living,” when a store employee asks if they can help you find something, they will leave you alone.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has bookmarked:

Sign at the zoo says “don’t stick your hand in the alligator cage”. Thanks, but I’ll do my own research.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has copied:

Hate when people ask “why is it called Silence of the Lambs?” Like, did you hear any lambs during the movie? Use your head!

Someone from 🇸🇾 has shared:

I changed my password to ‘incorrect’ so whenever I forget it, the computer tells me it’s incorrect, and I’m like, ‘Wow, you didn’t have to be so rude about it.’

Someone from 🇸🇷 has downloaded:

What happened to the huge corporate Christmas parties you see in all the ’90s movies? Seems like that doesn’t exist at all anymore.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has viewed:

The days will soon be shorter again. Then it won’t rain for so long.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,513

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Nobody ever talks about how Sodom and Gomorrah were walkable cities.

Freshly posted on Slack:

All the leaves are brown. And this guy is Greg.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Took control of my life today and canceled my AOL subscription.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Behind every robot that turns evil is an engineer who specifically installed red LEDs into the eyes just for this scenario.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Nothing says “not interested” quite like a Restraining Order.

Just landed via Telegram:

My wife has a weird habit of starting conversations by saying, “Are you even listening to me?”

Going viral on Discord:

Money doesn’t impress me. Giving it to me does.

Trending via Twitch:

Please stop adding touchscreens to cars. Most of these idiots can barely drive as it is.

Spotted on X:

I was having a great Friday until I found out it was Thursday.

Just shared via Slack:

I wish people knew how good I can sing when I’m alone in my car and in my shower.

Funny manslaughter quotes

Funny manslaughter quotes bring a cheeky twist to a serious topic, blending dark humor with unexpected wit 🤪⚖️. Perfect for those who love edgy jokes that make you think and laugh at the same time 😂💥. Dive into a world where legal drama meets clever punchlines, and prepare for some seriously funny moments that walk the fine line between absurd and hilarious! 🎭🔥

New funny manslaughter quotes 👇

All funny manslaughter quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

28 shares on WeChat this month:

The closest I get to a spa day is when I’m draining pasta, and the steam smacks me in the face.

81 shares on Slack this month:

So, you’re telling me I’m just supposed to get up every day and keep living like this? Seems like a scam to me.

89 shares on Snapchat this month:

I don’t understand why my cooking was garbage. I did everything right. I drank wine while I cooked. I had a hand towel over my shoulder. Literally everything right.

23 shares on LinkedIn this month:

If you can’t handle me at my worst, you don’t deserve me at my horniest.

11 shares on Slack this month:

As an academic, I sometimes dream about writing fiction instead, and then I remember grant proposals.

59 shares on WhatsApp this month:

The 80s were wild, man. You had bands naming themselves after predatory cats with hearing problems.

29 shares on Instagram this month:

Work again? Really? Didn’t I just do that yesterday?

79 shares on Threads this month:

In my defense, Your Honor, I grossly misunderstood the meaning of Boxing Day.

51 shares on LinkedIn this month:

One man’s worst nightmare (me) is another man’s peace (also me).

79 shares on Instagram this month:

Day number 3 without coffee: Lost hearing in my left eye.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

8 folks are currently checking 👀

No revenge, because I don’t even remember what happened.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Since there are no other Vulcans on the enterprise and the crew has no comparison, Spock could be and probably is bullshitting them most of the time.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Might quit my job to focus on summer.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

When someone says “I expected more of you”, I’m always like “well who’s fault is that?”

12 folks are currently checking 👀

The knife is my brush, the jam my paint and the toast my canvas.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Wish my metabolism worked as fast as my anxiety.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

People really be like, “I would never do that to you,” and then do it with a remix.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

No president next term. America needs to be single for a while to focus on herself.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Men with bibles names be the worst type of people.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Dear algorithm, only show this post to the most attractive and successful people.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,535

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇪 has bookmarked:

I hate it when my AirPods die instead of me.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has bookmarked:

If you have an opinion about my life, please raise your hand. Now put it over your mouth.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has viewed:

Please hesitate to get in touch with me.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has bookmarked:

What does my tattoo mean? It means I couldn’t be trusted with $200 when I was 18.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has shared:

Fries, not lies.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has downloaded:

My favorite part about being sick is when you sneeze with a cough drop in your mouth and it launches across the room like a cruise missile.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has downloaded:

If I’d married a wealthier man, I’d be lying on a fancier couch right now refusing to clean bigger rooms.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has copied:

I feel like I’ve skipped the whole ‘go out and have fun’ stage and went straight to being an 80-year-old woman.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has copied:

“Your password is too weak.” Just wait until you see my will to live.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has copied:

If my dog knew how many photos I have of him sleeping, he’d file a restraining order against me.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Messenger:

Celery is 95% water and 100% not pizza.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Today I started gardening. I planted myself in front of the TV and I sat there the entire day.

Just shared via TikTok:

Don’t worry, better days are coming. They are called Friday, Saturday and Sunday.

Going bananas on YouTube:

Being sober would be a lot easier if I liked myself.

Making waves on Slack:

Me before grocery shopping: only healthy foods, no impulse buys, I can do this. Me during grocery shopping: they make chocolate filled marshmallows?

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Nobody ever talks about how Sodom and Gomorrah were walkable cities.

Just shared via WeChat:

Unfortunately, I am not nonchalant, I will set myself on fire.

Making waves on Reddit:

We need a Disney princess who’s a greedy profiteer, so we can cheer for the poison apple.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Ah, summer. When my non-consensual relationship with mosquitoes begins.

Live now on WeChat:

There’s no need to put a little umbrella in my drink. It’s already wet.

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