Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇾 has bookmarked:

Wearing shorts and my pale legs screamed at the sensation of sunlight like vampires.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has bookmarked:

Fundamentally, I understand chess, because I too would never let my king feel unsafe.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has bookmarked:

I left the house with wet hair and no makeup on, so I’m sure I’ll run into everyone I know.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has bookmarked:

Tons of names in my phones are “Kenny Landlord,” “Mike Electric,” or “Pete Do Not Answer,” and I just realized this is how Anglo surnames have always worked.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has copied:

I miss the old days back in the 70s, when I didn’t exist.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has downloaded:

I love how a film can be life-changing for one person and boring for another.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has shared:

One of my greatest strengths is appearing busy so people don’t try to speak to me.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has downloaded:

The greatest allies fascism and genocide have are the people who say, “I don’t follow the news, it’s too depressing.”

Someone from 🇵🇼 has viewed:

Screw you guys, I’m gonna go make friends with the crows.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has copied:

Ponytails are only hot on women, bro.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,622

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via WeChat:

There should be a three-day weekend: one day to do nothing, one day to do something, and one day to do laundry.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Exercise won’t cure your depression, but it can make you hotter than your enemies.

Making waves on WeChat:

It’s fun getting room service. I just love eating a $19 hamburger at a desk in front of a mirror.

Shared recently on Telegram:

I grew up ugly, so I had to be funny, and then got hot in my twenties, so that’s how I became perfect.

Seen just now on Threads:

There are people on TV who are not ruined by fame, but who ruin fame.

Just landed via YouTube:

An adventure and a dragon would cure me.

Trending via Instagram:

The one nice thing about your friends’ divorces is no one invites you to them.

Making waves on Messenger:

Nothing like a meteor shower to remind you that burning out can still be breathtaking.

Trending via YouTube:

“What fresh hell is this?“ It’s actually the same hell as yesterday. Not fresh at all, really.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

Having a crush on someone as an adult feels like a humiliation ritual.

Funny music group quotes

New funny music group quotes 👇

All funny music group quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

66 shares on WeChat this month:

Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.

24 shares on Facebook this month:

Memes are the most information-dense form of communication.

26 shares on Instagram this month:

Spotify: enjoy the next 30 minutes commercial free. Also Spotify: we have no concept of time.

49 shares on YouTube this month:

Satan: “I’d tell you to go to Hell, but I work there and don’t wanna see you everyday.”

25 shares on Reddit this month:

I don’t remember what I wanted to be when I grew up, but I’m pretty sure it wasn’t a broke, stressed-out, over-thinker with no clothes that fit.

10 shares on Reddit this month:

The art of staying somewhat sane in an insane world.

29 shares on Snapchat this month:

Is the elephant in the room with us right now?

54 shares on Threads this month:

Billion dollar technology idea: A printer that works.

20 shares on Telegram this month:

Do you know how much trauma it took to be this funny?

17 shares on X this month:

You want me to attend a work meeting? The thing that killed Julius Caesar?

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Sick of people thinking the Midwest is just a bunch of small towns and cornfields when they forgot it’s also a lot of road construction, inconsistent weather, and deer that jump in front of your car.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Brushing your teeth at night is a hellish chore. Walking from bed to bathroom feels harder than working in the mines all day. I’m getting pissed just thinking about it.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

It must be hard for a vampire to floss their fangs when they can’t see their reflection in a mirror.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

You can’t spell fries without friends. I guess what I’m saying is that fries are friends. Delicious friends.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Am simultaneously the family’s black sheep and gold star, and that’s exactly why I’m the way I am.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Never trust someone who can eat 24/7 but is still skinny.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Robert De Niro always looks like he just smelled a nasty fart.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I was blinded by a goddamn deer with a shiny red nose… No, officer, I haven’t been drinking.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Rent really don’t make no sense. Like, why is my apartment getting a raise every year? Who is doing the performance review?

24 folks are currently checking 👀

If you take a social media sabbatical, don’t announce it. Just make your last post something fun like “I wonder if there’s a bear in this cave?”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,293

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇹 has downloaded:

Congratulations on getting to the red light first. You’re special.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has viewed:

All this overthinking, and I still make the worst decisions.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has shared:

I predict the next world war will be artificial intelligence versus genuine stupidity.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has bookmarked:

I used to look for monsters under the bed. Today I know they are behind some people’s fake smiles.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has downloaded:

I will never understand why our washing machines feel the need to lie about how much time is left. If you need more time, just let me know, that’s fine.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has viewed:

Bruce Lee had a faster older brother named Sudden Lee.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has shared:

Doggy style is out cat style is in. It’s where I let you touch me until I’m satisfied then ignore you and scratch you if you try and touch me again.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has downloaded:

Handshakes should be banned. Touch our naked body parts together for all the world to see? Gross!

Someone from 🇦🇷 has viewed:

It’s Mother’s Day Eve so remember to leave out a bottle of wine for Mom when she comes down the chimney.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has copied:

Why be just a part of the solution when you can be the whole problem?

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Snapchat:

Not gonna lie, toddlers absolutely nailed it with naps, buttered noodles, and rejecting authority.

Live now on Discord:

Rise and grind your teeth gently while ruminating over every past mistake.

Going bananas on Instagram:

Blowing over it is also dusting.

Breaking via Discord:

I hate being around people who mistake my childlike wonder as naivety or weakness. I am simply a war general who loves to giggle.

Just shared via X:

I hate Valentine’s Day but I do enjoy infant archery.

Going bananas on Instagram:

Most of my job is making things idiot proof, but they keep making better idiots.

Going bananas on Facebook:

Of all her outfits, my shirt and no underwear will always be my favorite.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Naked and Afraid because there’s a spider in the shower with me.

Making waves on WeChat:

Halloween is the only day you can ghost someone and blame it on being festive.

Just shared via Telegram:

I should be able to eat one huge meal a month, like a snake. This every-few-hours shit sucks.

© 2025. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴