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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇨 has bookmarked:

If you’re lost in the woods, start talking loudly about politics. Someone will come to argue with you.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has downloaded:

Introducing WifeChat™, the app where you talk to your wife.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has copied:

I want a chiropractor to crack my entire body like a glow stick.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has downloaded:

I accidentally messed up my life. How do I start a new account?

Someone from 🇬🇷 has shared:

My fridge has brought more light into my life than most people.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has bookmarked:

Sorry, I wasn’t really listening but that’s awesome, unless it isn’t of course.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has bookmarked:

Tupperware is a fun way to store your leftovers until you throw them away.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has copied:

When you want to key his car, but he doesn’t have one, so you bend his bus pass.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has bookmarked:

The perfect number of cats is two stupid cats. Preferably siblings. But they can’t both be the same type of stupid. One needs to be stupid (dumb) and one needs to be stupid (annoying).

Someone from 🇮🇳 has viewed:

My bad if I ever left you on read. I didn’t mean to open the message.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2269 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,431

Funny Quotes Topics

15,132

Funny Quotes Images

12,431

Updated

42 minutes ago

Users Online

3,439

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

A big shout-out to all the beekeepers. Our unstung heroes.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

If craziness could fly, some people would have their own airport.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Sex is fine, but have you ever completed every single thing on your to-do list?

Spotted on TikTok:

When you report something to IT and then hear: “Oh! Interesting. We’ve never seen that before.” Is that good or bad?

Shared recently on Facebook:

My doctor told me to watch my drinking. Now I drink in front of a mirror.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Twitter is like group therapy but everyone’s yelling and no one’s licensed.

Just landed via Slack:

Based on the amount of laundry I wash each week, I’m starting to think there are people who live here that I haven’t met yet.

Going viral on Facebook:

If camera lenses are round, why are the pictures square?

Going viral on Instagram:

I got confused by all the yard signs, and I think I may have voted for a realtor.

Just shared via Threads:

I love befriending yappers. They bring the yapping out of me. Then we yap together. Yapping is so much fun.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

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Trending Topics 📁

activity communication dating day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2269 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,431

Funny Quotes Topics

15,132

Funny Quotes Images

12,431

Updated

42 minutes ago

Users Online

3,436

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇬 has shared:

I’ve had 50 birthdays in a row without being arrested, which I’d say is an impressive streak!

Someone from 🇰🇪 has viewed:

I need to stop saying “Oppa Gagnam Style!” to fill in awkward pauses in conversation.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has shared:

I don’t want to brag but I walked into a room and remembered why I walked in.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has viewed:

Milking stools only have three legs, because the cow has the udder.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has shared:

That awkward moment when you leave a store without buying anything, and all you can think is: “Act normal, you are innocent.”

Someone from 🇸🇬 has downloaded:

If we were both crows, I’d bring you shiny things.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has shared:

Returning to Twitter is like coming back to a dysfunctional family.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has viewed:

I got a raise! On my meds dosage. But still.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has copied:

You’re my least favourite notification.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has bookmarked:

Why are they called “grammar Nazis” and not “the Gestypo”?

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Reddit:

The first time you forgive out of love. The second time out of hope and the third time out of stupidity.

Making waves on Snapchat:

I may not know what’s going on, but I also have no idea what’s happening.

Shared recently on Discord:

I used to blame all my problems on my parents, but now that I’m a grown up, I have come to terms with the fact that when bad things happen to me, it’s probably just that Mercury’s in retrograde again.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

I’m not drinking 2% milk until we figure out what the other 98% is.

Shared recently on Reddit:

The key to a healthy relationship is taking turns being the sad one.

Trending via Telegram:

Interrupt my sleep and I’ll interrupt your breathing.

Going viral on Threads:

Canadian Thanksgiving isn’t the same day as Thanksgiving in the US because Canadians already put gravy on everything every day.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Dry January is so funny. People are like, “How can I make the worst month of the year even worse?”

Trending via X:

The me who snips coupons needs to communicate better with the me who walks into the stores.

Reported on X:

People who listen to their sad playlist when they’re happy are a different breed of unstable.

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