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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇲🇳 has shared:

I just love the lack of privacy in the pharmacy line. Just standing there shouting out my name, date of birth, and exactly what is wrong with me for the world to hear.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has bookmarked:

I deleted Google when I met you because the search was over.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has viewed:

Don’t worry, you’ll find the lost scissors when you’ll be searching for your glasses.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has shared:

Opening up is like talking to a cop: anything you say can and will be used against you.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has bookmarked:

People in NYC are like, let me know if you’re ever in NYC.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has shared:

I decided to be me and now we have a problem.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has copied:

Might mess around and reply to all work emails with “make me”.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has downloaded:

Grocery stores should have baskets in the middle of the store for those “I really overestimated how much I can carry” moments.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has downloaded:

They expect me to work at work.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has viewed:

I have never “lit up a room” unless you count arson.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

531 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,124

Funny Quotes Topics

17,272

Funny Quotes Images

15,124

Updated

Dec 27, 2025

Users Online

3,921

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Telegram:

Your brain needs exercise just as much as your body does. That’s why I think of running everyday.

Just landed via Twitch:

My summer body is just my winter body with better lighting.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Best threesome: me, my bed and my pillow.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

I can easily spot a wolf in sheep’s clothing but this guy was dressed like my grandmother which threw me off.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Doctor advised me to stop drinking. This is going to be a big change for me. I was with that doctor for decades.

Seen just now on X:

Women are so hot, I wish they were good people.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

“Are you dating anyone?” I close my eyes when I walk past mirrors.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Receipts are like: Take this tiny piece of paper home with you and throw it away.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

People who shower at night are bold enough to assume tomorrow’s even happening.

Shared recently on Messenger:

As parents we have to make sacrifices all the time. Today, I had to eat my kid’s ice cream because she couldn’t finish it.

Home » Funny Net Worth Quotes

Funny net worth quotes

New funny net worth quotes 👇

What’s my net worth? Buddy, I don’t own a net.

0

4 months ago

buddy, finance, humor, i, joke, money, net, net worth, own, pun, wordplay, worth

All funny net worth quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

62 shares on Facebook this month:

The date didn’t go well but she was nice enough to send a PDF of everything I did wrong afterwards.

55 shares on Telegram this month:

If there’s one thing we can trust, it’s billionaires.

41 shares on X this month:

If you’re riding a bike in New York City, it means you care about your health. Riding one in Tennessee means you got a DUI.

76 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I be having full arguments in my head, then walk around mad like someone actually said something to me.

47 shares on Slack this month:

I should get paid a lot more for being the boss of me.

75 shares on Slack this month:

Someday I will make a sandwich that will change my life forever.

67 shares on Threads this month:

My dad once sneezed so hard that he set every clock back two hours.

74 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Do you think the washing machine and the dryer are actual friends or just work friends?

35 shares on Telegram this month:

You’re all using your crystals wrong. Put them in a sock and start swinging.

99 shares on Messenger this month:

Can’t wait for when we’re all in our 80’s and still tweeting.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇷 has bookmarked:

I tell it like it is: Sometimes I watch the calls on my cell phone and just wait for it to stop ringing.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has viewed:

Potato chips ARE vegetables! I exclaim as I tear open the third bag.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has shared:

Me, adding fuel to the fire: I’m just here to help.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has downloaded:

More dangerous than a lion that roars is a woman gone silent.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has viewed:

This meeting could have been a pajama party.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has copied:

My ex texted me saying, “Hey, I miss you,” so I replied, “Sorry, I have zero bars — the past doesn’t have good reception.”

Someone from 🇦🇩 has viewed:

Don’t forget, you are someone’s weird colleague.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has downloaded:

Enjoy your time with me, because I love to disappear.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has downloaded:

As someone who lives on earth, rising sea levels are alarming. But as someone who has always wanted to be a mermaid, I’m intrigued.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has shared:

Thanksgiving ain’t been the same ever since my uncle pulled that gun out on everybody.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via WhatsApp:

How much longer do we have to keep pretending that Pilates isn’t a sex thing?

Seen just now on Reddit:

My dentist plays country music, so it’s like a double torture.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

I have almost 100,000 miles on my office chair. So I got that going for me.

Going bananas on Slack:

Every Sunday is superbowel if you eat enough chili.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Ever since I was young, I wanted to check my email for a verification code.

Just landed via Pinterest:

There is sex without love, there is love without sex, and there is me without both.

Shared recently on Messenger:

If we’re not meant to have midnight snacks, why is there a light in the fridge.

Live now on YouTube:

Has anyone else noticed that it’s hard to do things when you don’t want to?

Making waves on Twitch:

Outside letting mosquitoes get some of this.

Live now on Twitch:

I didn’t lose a girlfriend, I gained an enemy.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Funny net worth quotes

New funny net worth quotes 👇

What’s my net worth? Buddy, I don’t own a net.

All funny net worth quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

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