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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇿 has downloaded:

My Indian name would be “Stares at Phone All Day.”

Someone from 🇳🇮 has viewed:

Gentle parenting is making sure your kids can’t hear what you say when you’re peeling a mango.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has downloaded:

Fun fact: The US was originally not meant to be a reality TV show.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has viewed:

I can’t flirt, but I’ll awkwardly giggle at everything you say.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has bookmarked:

When I get to work, I always hide first, because a good worker is always hard to find.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has copied:

I always take responsibility for my actions when there is no one else around to blame.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has viewed:

Before the internet, going viral meant your drawing made it to the fridge, and your sibling was furious.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has copied:

Started the year single. Ending the year single. Consistency is key.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has bookmarked:

One of the hardest things to do as an adult is to go back to work after a long weekend.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has viewed:

Why is adulthood just bills and wondering what to eat?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,668

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Messenger:

Some people still fail to understand that the boot still has no problem crushing you, even if you lick it clean.

Making waves on Instagram:

Did you know that it’s actually possible to say, “I don’t know enough about this to have an opinion”?

Shared recently on WeChat:

You don’t need to explain yourself if you carry a chainsaw.

Making waves on Reddit:

They should invent a grocery store that’s just for me and no one else.

Breaking via Snapchat:

What’s the point of having sex dreams if you always wake up just when it’s getting down to business?

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

I lied, there is no sex. You’re helping me repot plants.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

The only recipes they have online are where I’m the one who’s supposed to buy all this stuff and then make it. That’s not what I’m looking for.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Trying to watch a superhero movie without stressing about the infrastructure damage to the city.

Just shared via Discord:

After I get irritated, it takes me about 2 hours to fix my face.

Trending via WeChat:

The best part about Smarties is pouring them into an empty prescription bottle and shaking them all into my mouth while waiting in line.

Funny net worth quotes

New funny net worth quotes 👇

What’s my net worth? Buddy, I don’t own a net.

3 weeks ago

buddy, finance, humor, i, joke, money, net, net worth, own, pun, wordplay, worth

All funny net worth quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

53 shares on Twitch this month:

Your birthday as an adult mainly consists of texting back ‘Thanks!’ to people you haven’t talked to in 5 years.

90 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Working out consistently yields results, but mannnnnnn…… the laundry.

94 shares on Messenger this month:

Sometimes I look deep into my colleagues’ eyes to check if you really can’t see the back of their skulls.

79 shares on Pinterest this month:

Zara makes clothing for occasions that don’t exist.

53 shares on Threads this month:

Nice tweets, bro. What medications are you on?

82 shares on TikTok this month:

Ok, I cheated in school, but I did it the hard way and without AI.

91 shares on X this month:

Things I don’t want in my future house: An angry man.

60 shares on Facebook this month:

I’m convinced a lot of people online are communicating from prison.

59 shares on Telegram this month:

Thanksgiving and Christmas should be six months apart. Absurd to see those people again so soon. Insane.

85 shares on Snapchat this month:

Brave of you to assume you can resist my good looks.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇷 has copied:

I’ve reached the age where my train of thought often leaves the station without me.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has shared:

I wish British people had subtitles so I knew what they are on about.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has copied:

I bring a sort of “this isn’t actually urgent” vibe to the workplace that managers don’t like.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has shared:

Monday is already sending me threatening glances from across the room.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has shared:

You know it’s bad when even a cheeseburger doesn’t help.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has bookmarked:

When the client says: “make it pop”, I have to ask myself whether he means my mind or the project.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has downloaded:

I find it sad that my universal remote does not control the universe. Not even remotely.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has bookmarked:

Don’t rush me, I’m still deciding whether I’ll be productive or not today!

Someone from 🇳🇵 has copied:

We get it, comma, you went to Oxford.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has viewed:

I asked my dad what his favorite joke was. He said, “I can’t pick a favorite. I love you and your sister equally!”

Social Media Log 💫

Wordgag ツ

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Funny net worth quotes

New funny net worth quotes 👇

What’s my net worth? Buddy, I don’t own a net.

All funny net worth quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨