Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇸 has copied:

I give such good nudes that nobody ever needs to ask me for a second one.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has viewed:

Introverts don’t recharge with sleep, we recharge by being left completely alone for 3–5 business days.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has bookmarked:

Welcome to Twitter, where everyone is an expert on everything.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has copied:

I’ve accepted I’ll never retire. I’ll be working up until my funeral… probably using a vacation day for it.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has bookmarked:

First date idea: Couples Colonoscopies.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has shared:

It’s so much easier to suggest solutions when you don’t know too much about the problem.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has downloaded:

I’m only drinking a lot of beer tonight because I need the room in the fridge.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has shared:

If you’re going to be weird, be confident about it.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has viewed:

The weather’s got more mood swings than a reality show reunion.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has downloaded:

If you show her you care, she will keep you as a spare.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Dec 31, 2025

3,652

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Telegram:

If at first you don’t succeed, try two more times so your failure is statistically significant.

Spotted on Telegram:

She’s a 10, but she says ‘Orwellian’ when it’s clearly ‘Kafkaesque”.

Just landed via TikTok:

Everyone else time traveling: Preventing wars or the spread of disease. Me: Buying multiple pairs of my favorite shoes they’ve stopped making.

Going viral on Facebook:

Shutting up is gluten-free. Maybe add that to your diet, princess.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

I’ve been ghosted enough to add paranormal investigator to my resume.

Seen just now on Threads:

Nobody is meaner to me than me. So take your shot.

Shared recently on WeChat:

They probably killed the first few people whose eyes turned red in a photograph before they realized it wasn’t any demon stuff.

Just landed via X:

I’m sorry I said “Awooga” when you took off your clothes. Do you still want to have sexy time?

Going viral on Snapchat:

I can’t believe we live in the timeline where we invented a technology to make it so we can never trust a photo or video again.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Ah, the magical land of Monday—the gift that keeps not giving!

Funny old woman quotes

Funny old woman quotes bring a burst of laughter and wisdom wrapped in charm 😄🎉 Celebrate the wit and sass that come with age, proving that growing older only makes life more entertaining! Whether you’re feeling cheeky or just need a smile, these gems will brighten your day and remind you that age is just a number—and humor is timeless 😉✨ #AgeIsJustANumber #StayFunny

New funny old woman quotes 👇

My transformation into a bitter, angry old woman is almost complete.

0

2 months ago

aging, almost, anger, angry, bitter, bitterness, complete, humor, old, old woman, sarcasm, transformation, woman
I didn’t just turn into a grouchy old woman overnight. It took years of people letting me down, pissing me off, and dealing with idiots to get this good at it.

0

2 months ago

attitude, attitude humor, dealing, dealing with idiot, frustration, good, grouchy, humor, i, idiot, idiots, just, letting, me, old, old woman, overnight, patience, people, personality, pissing, sarcasm, turn, woman

All funny old woman quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

43 shares on Facebook this month:

There is no reason to be a people pleaser. People are never pleased.

33 shares on TikTok this month:

Sorry I didn’t text you back, I was pretending I didn’t see it and ended up actually forgetting.

25 shares on Pinterest this month:

Socks try to be monogamous, but most end up either single or having multiple different partners.

18 shares on Instagram this month:

I don’t carry my wallet to work because I’m afraid someone will steal it while I’m sleeping.

62 shares on Twitch this month:

Adulthood is just saying “it is what it is,” and then crying in your car to a song from 2012.

65 shares on Instagram this month:

I just borrowed some money from a cash app, now I’m about to uninstall it.

37 shares on WeChat this month:

My favorite things about Texas are definitely toast and chainsaw massacres.

98 shares on TikTok this month:

My entire life changed once I found out that a crush is just a lack of information.

29 shares on Reddit this month:

I thought being an adult meant cake for breakfast, not budgeting for therapy.

63 shares on Discord this month:

Since I started following the wisdom of ancient Chinese philosopher Fuk Yu, my life has been so much better…

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Girls Just Want To Have Naan

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Salsa counts as a serving of vegetables, right?

8 folks are currently checking 👀

People out here living double lives, and I’m barely even holding a single life together.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

God created childbirth so women could know how men feel when we have a cold.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

If I had 50¢ for every math test I’ve failed, I’d have $7.20.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Unless I say otherwise, I am always tired.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Sometimes I get really mad at myself, but not like mad enough to fight myself or anything like that.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Sometimes our greatest achievement in life is being able to survive our own thoughts.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I may not know what’s going on, but I also have no idea what’s happening.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Don’t understand why electricians aren’t called power rangers, but okay.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,542

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇰 has bookmarked:

I’m soirée for my mispronunciation of French words.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has downloaded:

Sorry, I can’t hang out tomorrow. I hung out with people a week ago and I’m still recovering from that.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has downloaded:

Hugging helps break the tension with strangers in elevators.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has shared:

When you scream into your pillow, the memory foam never forgets.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has viewed:

They should invent a rest for the wicked.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has bookmarked:

The most avoided species of shark is the Loan.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has shared:

Spotify wrapped is like my annual mental health report and it’s getting worse by each passing year.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has copied:

Libraries were a good start, but we need more places where people can’t talk.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has bookmarked:

I think more people would actually heal from their trauma if they got revenge.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has shared:

No rizz, just pretty eyes and many unsettling things to say.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Threads:

I’m sorry, I didn’t realize how quiet your bathroom exhaust fan was.

Spotted on Telegram:

I now also have a device that tells me whether I’ve taken enough steps today. If I don’t make it one day, it barks and poops in my apartment.

Trending via Instagram:

I bet oiling and wrapping potatoes in aluminum foil feels so good for the potato.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

A beautiful woman should never have to send an email. Yet, such tragedies occur every day.

Going viral on Reddit:

I should’ve been an air conditioner because all I do is vent.

Going bananas on Discord:

Occupation: the ugly friend!

Broadcasted on Instagram:

Spent most of the day making sure the couch still works. So far so good.

Freshly posted on Discord:

In my 20’s: I want to find true love. In my 40’s: I just want a toaster that gets me.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

At my age, this “microsleep” can sometimes last hours.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

I crashed my bike in 1989 and hurt my knee real bad. We didn’t have social media back then so I’m telling you guys now.

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