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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇻 has shared:

Gravity called. It’s sick of holding me up.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has copied:

Things I don’t want in my future house: An angry man.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has bookmarked:

I wonder if people who spend all their time screaming on the internet know there are way more fun things to do.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has copied:

My mental health is as reliable as a flashlight in a horror film.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has bookmarked:

I would flirt with you, but I’d rather seduce you with my awkwardness.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has shared:

I hope the coffee hits harder than reality does.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has viewed:

Before you have kids, ask yourself: how patient am I with really stupid people?

Someone from 🇸🇮 has viewed:

The Playstation is broken and the child has noticed that I live here too.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has downloaded:

“You’ve changed.” Yeah, I watched a new movie.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has bookmarked:

You ask a girl if she ate, and she gon say, “Yeah, I had my coffee.”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,385

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Slack:

Why read the room when you can leave the room?

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

After overthinking about it for 6 hours, I have decided that it’s actually not that big of a deal.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

I bet this email finds you silently screaming on the inside.

Live now on TikTok:

If you haven’t felt old yet today, try explaining to a teenager how little kids used to sit on a phone book at dinner to be able to reach the table.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

If trees offered Wi-Fi, we would plant more of them. Too bad they only produce this oxygen thing.

Going viral on Threads:

I’m never wrong. Just different levels of right.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

If you’ve never been hit with gay allegations, you’re not fly enough.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Single for Christmas, but at least I won’t be buying presents for a liar.

Seen just now on Telegram:

My diet plan is sometimes, when I’m eating chips, I drop some on the floor, and I don’t eat those ones.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

To everyone I’ve wronged this year. Next year same time, same place.

Funny old woman quotes

Funny old woman quotes bring a burst of laughter and wisdom wrapped in charm 😄🎉 Celebrate the wit and sass that come with age, proving that growing older only makes life more entertaining! Whether you’re feeling cheeky or just need a smile, these gems will brighten your day and remind you that age is just a number—and humor is timeless 😉✨ #AgeIsJustANumber #StayFunny

New funny old woman quotes 👇

All funny old woman quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

49 shares on WhatsApp this month:

When you thought something would be easy peasy lemon squeezy, but it’s actually been stressy, depressy, lemon zesty.

39 shares on WeChat this month:

If you keep the house dark, not only do you save on electricity, but it also looks cleaner.

17 shares on Twitch this month:

And is your “sparkling personality” in the room with us now?

13 shares on Slack this month:

They should invent a way to delete other people’s posts.

44 shares on Snapchat this month:

Sometimes I wish I could turn down the volume on certain people.

84 shares on Twitch this month:

I knew school was a scam when my business teacher didn’t own a business, and my PE teacher was fat.

95 shares on X this month:

No, no, I’m listening, it just takes me some time to process so much stupidity all at once.

36 shares on Pinterest this month:

My wife and I are going to quit our jobs and travel until we run out of money. I estimate we’ll be home around 9 p.m. tonight.

45 shares on Discord this month:

Messages are way funnier when you know how that person talks.

11 shares on LinkedIn this month:

If you’re reading this, drink some water. You’re not a cactus.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

13 folks are currently checking 👀

You should be able to wash your hair and it stays washed. What do you mean I have to do it again?

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I have so much to offer. It’s all bad, but still.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Sick and tired of these 30 mins weekends.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I need to stop drinking so much. Did I say drinking? I meant thinking. I definitely need to drink more.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

So many songs that tell you to throw your hands in the air like you just don’t care, so few about the hazards of ceiling fans.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

“I’m going to get more sleep tonight” is always the first lie I tell myself in the morning.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

For Halloween I will go to the beach dressed as a french fry and let the seagulls destroy me.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Wow, you have a very impressive collection of strange tendencies.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Why would I work from home when I don’t even work from work?

7 folks are currently checking 👀

My exorcist thinks we should see other demons.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,656

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇳 has downloaded:

Dogs can’t talk and everyone loves them. Coincidence? I think not.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has copied:

Crazy to think that even after all of these years the Titanic’s pool still has water in it.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has copied:

I am not someone you have to host if you invite me, because I will have canceled.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has shared:

I either text back right away or never, because I saw your text, replied in my head but forgot to actually type it.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has bookmarked:

I’m not “dating to marry” or “dating for fun.” I’m dating for a secret third reason.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has downloaded:

Date night idea: fight another couple.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has bookmarked:

Kinda rude my neighbors live next to me.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has bookmarked:

I’ve been heading in the wrong direction for most of my life, but since the earth is round, I’m just going to stick with it and see it through.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has copied:

Do not EVER text while driving. Please use the giant iPad attached to your dashboard.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has downloaded:

First date idea: you rescue me out of the tree I got stuck in while looking through your windows.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Facebook:

You know you’re getting old when you’re entering your birth year online and you need to spin that thing like you’re on wheel of fortune.

Trending via Snapchat:

You guys know your secrets are safe with me. It’s the people I share them with you can’t trust.

Live now on Threads:

The folks who write fragrance commercials must be like “I had the weirdest dream, Imma put it on TV.”

Just landed via Messenger:

If you have children, you can experience all human emotions before 9 a.m. on Sundays.

Spotted on Threads:

80% of Americans just want to put on sunglasses and say, ‘Let’s do this.’

Shared recently on X:

I briefly stepped away from social media to get an idea of what else is going on in the world. For instance, I didn’t realize I was still married.

Just landed via Instagram:

After all these years, Jude Law has finally noticed me and responded to my love letters. Something about staying 500 feet away. I’m getting it framed.

Going bananas on Messenger:

What archaeologists are really looking for is a hand digging back.

Trending via Twitch:

I love sarcasm. It’s like punching people in the face, but with words.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

I like when the rain is misty and you get to feel like a grocery store broccoli for a little while.

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