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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇩 has viewed:

Jehovah’s Witnesses tell the worst knock knock jokes.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has viewed:

Sorry about all the mean stuff I said when I was right.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has shared:

My favorite body lotion is Voltaren.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has copied:

I’m going back to the 90s, if anyone wants to come.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has shared:

I don’t know what kind of sex makes y’all want a joint bank account, but I ain’t had it yet.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has viewed:

Many men also have a walk-in closet. For them, it’s just called a floor.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has shared:

A big shout-out to all the beekeepers. Our unstung heroes.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has downloaded:

I’m bad at being sad. Three minutes in, and I’m already making fun of my situation.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has downloaded:

It’s so funny how every true crime documentary eventually devolves into a story about how the police botched the entire investigation.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has downloaded:

There should be bloopers at the end of horror movies, so it relaxes you before bedtime.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

243 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,512

Funny Quotes Topics

17,578

Funny Quotes Images

15,512

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,560

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Telegram:

Getting up early would be easier if we could keep our eyes closed.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Shouldn’t autocorrect be called autoassume?

Making waves on WeChat:

A good way to get out of a conversation is to take off one of your socks and hand it to the person talking.

Just landed via Facebook:

I wish I was a cat, because the fatter you are, the more people like you.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

For the amount of meat you get out of clam, I feel like we could just leave them alone.

Shared recently on WeChat:

There’s a special place in hell for people like you (next to me).

Breaking via Instagram:

It’s been too long since I partook in shenanigans.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Sperm me would be swimming in the other direction.

Seen just now on Threads:

Seriously, how sexy was Freud’s mom?

Trending via Telegram:

Took a break from social media because my cat was asleep on my phone.

Funny old year quotes

New funny old year quotes 👇

Still writing the old year on all my ransom notes.

0

2 months ago

date, funny observation, humor, new, new year, note, notes, observation, old, old year, procrastination, ransom, ransom note, still, writing, year

Someone from 🇭🇹 has recently bookmarked this quote.

53 shares on Pinterest this month.

All funny old year quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

23 shares on LinkedIn this month:

All I’m dealing with is broken people. Lord, if I’m a mechanic, please tell me.

21 shares on Snapchat this month:

Gonna toot my own horn here because I made it through another day without turning any of my feelings into felonies.

69 shares on TikTok this month:

Peloton guy yelling “two more, one more” but it’s me eating Cheetos.

64 shares on YouTube this month:

If you show her you care, she will keep you as a spare.

44 shares on Telegram this month:

I forgot to sweep up some crumbs earlier, and I just heard an ant moaning in pleasure as he discovered the bounty.

83 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Can I come over and figure you out?

64 shares on Pinterest this month:

Blaming the full moon for whatever unhinged decision I make tonight.

26 shares on WeChat this month:

The way my phone’s facial recognition pretends not to recognize me, you’d think I dated it.

81 shares on Discord this month:

People who live alone should get one practice conversation before they have to speak out loud for the first time that day.

46 shares on Instagram this month:

I take offense when people don’t invite me to events l’d like to turn down.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇱 has downloaded:

I love rap beefs, it’s so romantic when two guys sing songs to each other.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has bookmarked:

Are cassette tapes considered classical music yet?

Someone from 🇧🇦 has downloaded:

I am on my second week of biweekly pay so today I will be showing you how to make a quesadilla out of paper towels.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has copied:

This whole week could have been an email.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has copied:

Sometimes after sex, I wonder what it would be like to have sex as a couple.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has viewed:

Spent 20 minutes training ChatGPT to write the perfect anniversary note for my wife, so don’t try to tell me I’m not romantic.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has viewed:

Today’s kids don’t even get chicken pox anymore, they go straight to STDs.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has downloaded:

You are the wind beneath my overly sensitive, motion-activated floodlight.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has copied:

This is not what adulthood looked like in the brochure.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has viewed:

Waiting until 4:59 p.m. on Fridays to send an email, because any response is Monday’s problem.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on WeChat:

He died doing what he loved: trying to find out if gang members are ticklish.

Just shared via X:

My skin is so dry it’s doing a PowerPoint presentation.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Vaping: When you feel like smoking but don’t want to look cool.

Shared recently on Telegram:

Millennials aren’t having kids because no one’s made lo-fi hip-hop beats to yell at your kids to.

Making waves on WeChat:

The cool side of the pillow just stole my boyfriend.

Live now on Discord:

Sometimes I read a text and think, “What a psycho.” And then I press send.

Just landed via Discord:

Incense sticks are just disappointing sparklers.

Spotted on Threads:

Being bi means you say both yay and bruh.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

“Thank you for choosing Amtrak.” No problem. There are no other trains.

Shared recently on TikTok:

I like my men like I like my coffee, secretly alcoholic.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Funny old year quotes

New funny old year quotes 👇

Still writing the old year on all my ransom notes.

All funny old year quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨