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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇶 has shared:

Traveling back in time to proudly inform Benjamin Franklin that my stove has wifi.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has shared:

Coffee is just goth water.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has copied:

Sorry I can’t have a pleasant, safe and affordable life, my government said no.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has copied:

Ending my thesis paper with “but who cares what I think?”

Someone from 🇦🇩 has copied:

Is it too late to reset my life back to factory settings?

Someone from 🇺🇸 has copied:

When women get to a certain weight, you’ll notice they change their social media profile pictures to flowers, cats, or dogs.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has copied:

Sitting next to you on an empty train and clicking my stopwatch every time you turn a page in your book.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has viewed:

We’ve got a shituation here.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has copied:

I am writing a book about reverse psychology. Please don’t buy it.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has shared:

Haggis – the meal you have to stomach twice.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

241 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,510

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,510

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,402

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Messenger:

Some people are like ads, just skip.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

Vatican City should be called Popenhagen.

Shared recently on Reddit:

I’m sorry you had a bad experience at our restaurant. To make it up to you, here is a coupon for more of our terrible, terrible food.

Just shared via TikTok:

Our parents just don’t know how far we rode them bikes when we were younger.

Spotted on Threads:

“Left alone” would have been the right answer as a child to the question of what I wanted to be when I grew up.

Just landed via Snapchat:

“Comparison is the thief of joy!” Well, not if you’re better than everyone else.

Spotted on Instagram:

I don’t understand why my husband has to pay for a UFC fight when he could just throw one piece of candy on the floor in front of our kids.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

I wasn’t feeling well so I googled my symptoms. I either have allergies or I died two days ago.

Live now on Facebook:

My superpower? I can look you right in the eyes while you’re talking and not hear a single word you said.

Shared recently on Reddit:

My new phone is being delivered by Amazon, which means that I can track its movements for a day before it tracks mine for five years.

21 Funny online behavior quotes

More funny online behavior quotes 👇

I don’t argue with idiots on the Internet, I just keep scrolling and mind my own business.

0

5 months ago

argue, argument, behavior, business, i, idiot, idiots, internet, just, keep, mind, minding, minding business, online, online behavior, own, scrolling

Someone from 🇰🇷 has recently copied this quote.

77 shares on Snapchat this month.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

70 shares on Slack this month:

I caught your husband cheating on you at an Alanis concert, and thought you, you, you oughta know.

40 shares on Threads this month:

“I’m depressed because there’s not enough cheese in this world to satisfy my hunger for it.”

19 shares on Facebook this month:

One man’s worst nightmare (me) is another man’s peace (also me).

29 shares on YouTube this month:

Just because I can’t sing doesn’t mean I won’t sing.

66 shares on Pinterest this month:

Keep your temper. Nobody else wants it.

79 shares on Snapchat this month:

Do not take me to an escape room. I was a c-section. Someone is gonna have to come get me.

50 shares on Pinterest this month:

Next time someone says “I’m a hugger” and tries to hug me, I’m gonna say “I’m a puncher” and see how it goes.

92 shares on Facebook this month:

I had to quit my job because people kept falling in love with me there.

67 shares on Snapchat this month:

I got us matching straight jackets for Christmas.

84 shares on Slack this month:

So a baby crawls across the floor to it’s bottle and it’s cute but when I do it Im in need of an intervention?

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇷 has downloaded:

Authentic isn’t automatically good. You could be an authentic douchebag.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has viewed:

After a vacation, I usually return to work with a fresh, reenergized hatred for my job.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has shared:

Need a book club for people who all just happened to read the same book but hated it and now need to vent.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has bookmarked:

Interviewer: Give an example of a difficult scenario and how you handled it. Me: I poured a bowl of cereal but had no milk, so I used ice cream.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has shared:

Whoever invented the gender reveal party needs to be launched into the sun.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has copied:

Some people pack their lives so full of activities, appointments and people that I get exhausted just reading about it.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has shared:

Whenever І wake up and see that someone has wrіtten a bunch of funny posts before noon, І assume they are a mornіng drіnker.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has copied:

Do married people watch Gen Z dating and feel like they caught the last chopper out of Nam?

Someone from 🇱🇻 has shared:

Everyone wants a goth girlfriend until she starts doing goth things.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has downloaded:

December you will be good to me (threateningly).

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via WeChat:

Missed garbage day today, if you’re looking for a bad boy that doesn’t play by the rules.

Trending via YouTube:

Only a couple more days until I come home and pretend I forgot about Valentine’s Day.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

I’m blunt because the universe rolled me that way.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

“Thug life,” I whisper to myself as I check out my sunglasses in the mirror.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

AI could never replace me, you can’t put this much self-loathing into a machine.

Trending via Threads:

Sorry, I can’t today. I have to sit in my room and make matters worse.

Making waves on TikTok:

Each day on Twitter, there is one main character. The goal is to never be it.

Just landed via X:

Does anyone want to fall in love and split rent with me?

Just shared via X:

There is certainly no life on other planets. Otherwise our government would have sent money there long ago.

Going bananas on Slack:

Acting jealous while secretly cheating is a pure talent of witchcraft.

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Activity Log ✨

21 Funny online behavior quotes

More funny online behavior quotes 👇

I don’t argue with idiots on the Internet, I just keep scrolling and mind my own business.

All funny online behavior quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

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