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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇪 has viewed:

I can always tell what part of my cycle I’m in by how concerned my friends are over my Tweets.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has bookmarked:

My only regret is not leaving people alone the first time they moved funny.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has viewed:

I left the house with wet hair and no makeup on, so I’m sure I’ll run into everyone I know.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has copied:

The 80s were wild, man. You had bands naming themselves after predatory cats with hearing problems.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has downloaded:

I would pay extra for a dental hygienist who was comfortable with silence.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has bookmarked:

I hate when someone on a magazine cover stares at me while I eat.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has viewed:

Playdates were invented to force parents into cleaning their home.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has shared:

Common sense isn’t a gift. It’s a punishment, because you have to deal with everyone who doesn’t have it.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has bookmarked:

I swear some songs have background noises of your mum shouting your name from downstairs.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has bookmarked:

It’s a good thing that our phones only convey sight and sound. No offense, but from most of you I would never want to receive a smelfie!

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

234 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,503

Funny Quotes Topics

17,569

Funny Quotes Images

15,503

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,351

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Reddit:

You know you’re a bad cook when the dog won’t lick the plate.

Just shared via YouTube:

Traded my Fitbit in for a Sitbit.

Making waves on Twitch:

The only function of a middle name is so a child can assess how much danger they’re in.

Live now on Pinterest:

Laxatives help you live up to your full pooptential.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

“Don’t shoot your gun at the hurricane” the government says. I’ll do my own research, thanks.

Trending via Twitch:

If you’re going to stare all night and not say hello, do you mind taking your fingers and squishing my head from across the room?

Making waves on WhatsApp:

The only thing preventing me from moving to Finland is the language barrier and a job.

Breaking via Pinterest:

If I’m gonna jingle your bells, I’m definitely gonna jingle them all the way.

Making waves on Facebook:

Bold of me to constantly use the phrase “no worries!” when I am, in fact, constantly full of many worries.

Making waves on X:

How do I get one of those fake corporate jobs where I work remotely, get paid for responding to one email a day, and have a laptop on with Outlook or whatever open?

Funny palm tree quotes

Funny palm tree quotes 🌴 bring sunny vibes and giggles 😄 wherever they sway! Whether you’re daydreaming about beach days 🏖️ or just love a little tropical humor 🌺, these playful sayings will have you smiling like a palm frond in the breeze. Get ready to add some sunshine ☀️ and laughter to your feed with the quirkiest, most pun-tastic palm tree moments around! 🌴😂

New funny palm tree quotes 👇

All funny palm tree quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

95 shares on Snapchat this month:

Just drafted the drunk text I’m going to send after one drink this weekend.

65 shares on Facebook this month:

Nobody gives me butterflies anymore. Y’all just give me brain damage.

65 shares on Telegram this month:

I did the math and a second job would help me get out of debt as long as I start it twelve years ago.

94 shares on TikTok this month:

“Stand up for yourself!” Girl, I have low iron.

49 shares on Threads this month:

Shoutout to everyone who can’t keep up with the laundry or the dishes but decided it was a great idea to start gardening.

48 shares on WeChat this month:

I’m trying to be awesome today, but I’m too exhausted from being so awesome yesterday.

79 shares on WeChat this month:

Onesies are amazing till you have to really pee in the middle of the night then you question all your life’s decisions.

88 shares on Facebook this month:

They should invent a day where I don’t wonder why.

68 shares on X this month:

If you ever get a chance to date a cute person for one day, where will you take me?

39 shares on LinkedIn this month:

November should have one more day. Just because to me November 31st sounds real. And also I don’t want to pay rent tomorrow.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Diet tip: Your pants can’t get too tight if you never wear any.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

‘Sex with your ex’ is so stupid. If you want to dwell on the past, you can just buy a history book.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Spewing nonsense online is the most fun a depressed person is allowed to have in these twisted times.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Are you coming to the party? There will be noise and lights but I found a corner for us to hide.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I want to be a garbage man, so I only have to work one day a week.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Every room is a panic room if someone farts.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Remembering my youth, and a time where I could breath out of more than one nostril at once.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

My real introduction to classical music came from watching Tom & Jerry cartoons as a kid. Also how I got into sadism.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

So does everybody have a collection of grocery bags that you keep inside of a grocery bag?

21 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s fun getting room service. I just love eating a $19 hamburger at a desk in front of a mirror.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

234 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,503

Funny Quotes Topics

17,569

Funny Quotes Images

15,503

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,369

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇻 has bookmarked:

My greatest aspiration is to one day solve a murder on a train.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has downloaded:

That awkward moment when you try something on in a shop but you don’t know if you can get it off again.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has downloaded:

Men used to smoke Marlboros. Now they cry when they lose their strawberry cheesecake vape.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has bookmarked:

I’ve noticed the best way to get somebody’s attention is to not want it anymore.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has viewed:

Savannah is one of the only girl’s names that’s also a significant “biome”.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has bookmarked:

My favorite part of socializing is when it’s over.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has copied:

Went to bed with wet hair and woke up looking like I might know a lot about astrophysics.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has downloaded:

If I was a weather man, I’d leak the weather early to pretty women.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has viewed:

Starting your most incoherent sentence with “put simply” to deflect blame onto the reader.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has bookmarked:

You can have kids or you can always know where your scissors are. You can’t have both.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Discord:

Sawing a hole in a table from underneath to steal a cake is a lot harder than cartoons would have you believe.

Breaking via Reddit:

I’m multitasking: I can listen, ignore and forget at the same time.

Going viral on Instagram:

Wearing shorts and my pale legs screamed at the sensation of sunlight like vampires.

Making waves on X:

Respect people who wear glasses because they paid money to see you.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

What’s wrong with the people who come to visit on Sundays? Don’t they have a couch?

Going viral on YouTube:

I was actually a little too thankful yesterday so today I’m going to even it out with some ungratefulness and entitlement.

Shared recently on Threads:

Be nice today, the world is on fire.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Sometimes I watch people do their jobs, and I’m like, damn, you might benefit from a little imposter syndrome, actually.

Live now on Messenger:

Going to the gym for my health and wellbeing? No, I just wanna look good naked.

Spotted on WeChat:

I now also have a device that tells me whether I’ve taken enough steps today. If I don’t make it one day, it barks and poops in my apartment.

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