Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇲 has downloaded:

Taylor Swift’s prenup is about to be longer than any book Travis Kelce has ever read.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has bookmarked:

Me, on New Year’s Eve: I think instead of kissing at midnight, I’m just going to go outside and scream.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has downloaded:

Instead of presents this year, I’m giving everyone my opinion. Get excited!

Someone from 🇲🇭 has viewed:

I was a nothingburger to him, but he was an everything bagel to me…

Someone from 🇸🇹 has shared:

Never trust people who smile constantly. They’re either selling something or not very bright.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has downloaded:

Real lovers are currently single, by the way.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has shared:

I know some people don’t like me, but what can I do, not everyone has good taste.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has shared:

I said when I retire, I would travel. I just didn’t expect it to be to the doctors.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has bookmarked:

A web developer and an SEO expert walk into a bar, bars, nightclub, pubs, tavern, beer, alcohol, drinks, alcoholic beverages, bars in my area, places to drink.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has shared:

Headed to a wedding but my wife said I’m not allowed to refer to the bride as ‘the veiled threat.’

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,604

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Threads:

I would be very interested to hear from someone who is ILLEGALLY blind.

Just shared via Messenger:

Can’t, trying to piece together today’s news from social media posts.

Seen just now on X:

If barking at nothing was an Olympic sport, my dog would win gold.

Seen just now on YouTube:

We should be able take jets and tanks and stuff whenever we want, we paid for them.

Freshly posted on Slack:

What a time to be alive! (Derogatory)

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Why did they call it painting your toenails and not graffeeti?

Just landed via X:

I’m having an orange, and the dogs keep looking at me like, “stop eating that ball, dude.”

Just shared via Discord:

Every man learns for himself the uselessness of owning an iPad.

Going viral on Twitch:

I’ve started taking a brisk walk straight after dinner and it’s saving me an absolute fortune on restaurant bills.

Spotted on Messenger:

If caterpillars are able to sleep for a long time and come out prettier, why cant I?

Funny palm tree quotes

Funny palm tree quotes 🌴 bring sunny vibes and giggles 😄 wherever they sway! Whether you’re daydreaming about beach days 🏖️ or just love a little tropical humor 🌺, these playful sayings will have you smiling like a palm frond in the breeze. Get ready to add some sunshine ☀️ and laughter to your feed with the quirkiest, most pun-tastic palm tree moments around! 🌴😂

New funny palm tree quotes 👇

All funny palm tree quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

30 shares on Facebook this month:

I call my period Shark week. I want to eat everything, I’m snapping at people, I feel huge, people are scared of me, and there is blood everywhere.

46 shares on Discord this month:

The last time I said I wanted to try missionary, she sent me to a remote village in Africa.

57 shares on YouTube this month:

He who laughs last didn’t get it.

45 shares on Telegram this month:

I shall have another coffee, for I am sleeping standing.

70 shares on Threads this month:

People say “go big or go home” like going home is a bad thing. Heck yeah, I want to go home, and I’ll have a nap when I get there.

81 shares on Instagram this month:

My favorite pastime is looking for meaning where there is none.

83 shares on Slack this month:

I showered with my boyfriend. My breasts have never been so clean! Wow!

84 shares on YouTube this month:

Hello, I’m looking for the people who said “I’ll always be there for you”. Has anyone seen them?

78 shares on Discord this month:

Me watching any modern ad: How is this ad an ad for the thing it’s an ad for?

22 shares on Messenger this month:

We’re in the middle of a snowstorm with no cake in the house. I never expected to perish like this.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

8 folks are currently checking 👀

The Pope is the only employee who never gets to see his boss. Not even at the Christmas party.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I wish pets lived longer, and life wasn’t so expensive, and cake didn’t make you fat, and people weren’t twats.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

“I’m not afraid to admit when I’m wrong. For example, I thought it was a good idea to leave the house today, which, as it turns out, was a terrible mistake.”

19 folks are currently checking 👀

The difference between a hippo and a zippo is that one is really heavy and the other is a little lighter. Thank you and good night.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

The closest thing I’ve had to a personal trainer is the ice cream truck that drove past my house.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

If we’re walking together, just know I’ll definitely bump into you because I can’t walk in a straight line.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve disappointed better people.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Coolest part about starting a new job is the immunity to disease you get for 3 months till you get sick days.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I never had kids because little kids see too many ghosts and that’s something I’d rather not know about.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

How did Satoshi write the code of Bitcoin before Claude?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,533

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇴 has shared:

My advice to kids in kindergarten is to start saving all the money.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has downloaded:

I like my coffee so strong that it wakes up the neighbors.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has bookmarked:

The divorce process is easier than breaking up with your hair stylist.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has bookmarked:

You have been a very bad boy. Now go to my room!

Someone from 🇳🇷 has viewed:

The older I get, the less surprised I’d be if a random body part just fell off one day.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has copied:

Adulthood is about being able to eat cookies for breakfast, but not doing it because you already ate all the cookies.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has bookmarked:

Slapping the TV remote on your knee extends the battery life. It’s science.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has viewed:

A Jackie Chan fight scene where he’s in an IKEA warehouse and he fights off dudes with furniture pieces, but by the end he’s accidentally assembled it all into a complete Malm bedroom set.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has downloaded:

“I’ll worry about it next time.” Me pissing off future me.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has downloaded:

I respect the moon’s unwillingness to be photographed on a phone.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via X:

My morning routine is basically just me convincing myself not to go back to bed.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

This meeting could have been an AI summary.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Hansel and Gretel weren’t wrong, every bad decision I’ve ever made started with being hungry.

Making waves on WeChat:

I remember when Britain used to be so rich, you’d be embarrassed to go into a Lidl or Aldi.

Seen just now on Telegram:

I’m not always a couch potato. For instance, right now I’m a chair potato, and later I’ll be a bed potato.

Live now on LinkedIn:

Just as “magic spells” use special rhymes and archaic terms to signal their power, the convoluted language of legalese acts to convey a sense of authority.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Fake laughing at work is mentally exhausting. Please just leave me alone.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Turns out that ending meetings with “have the day you deserve” has made me some enemies at work.

Making waves on Snapchat:

My so-called “friends” have asked that I stop referring to them that way.

Going viral on Facebook:

On the one hand, I’d love to look sexy in a bikini. On the other hand, there’s cake.

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