1114 funny people quotes - Wordgag ツ

Can we start dropping pianos on people again?

Mar 8, 2026Mar 8, 2026

Old people won’t listen to you, but will trust a scam caller with their whole chest.

Mar 8, 2026Mar 8, 2026

My favorite part of the Bible is when Jesus says to put a cross emoji and a Bible verse in your bio, and then call people slurs on the internet.

Feb 3, 2026

People text you when you look good in photos.

Feb 3, 2026

I love when people say, “In college, I wrote a paper on…” as if that holds any academic merit.

Feb 3, 2026

People who don’t have Twitter are trying to show you stuff you laughed at a month ago.

Feb 3, 2026

Old people are right about crosswords and morning stretches, I will admit.

Feb 3, 2026

The people who “don’t have time” and the people who “always find time” have the same amount of time.

Feb 3, 2026

Why will Satan torture people in hell for disobeying the same God he disobeyed?

Feb 3, 2026

Some people still fail to understand that the boot still has no problem crushing you, even if you lick it clean.

Feb 3, 2026

Sarcastically saying “you’re welcome” to the people who don’t say thank you when I hold the door for them is something I’ll never stop doing.

Feb 3, 2026

People who read and research will always sound crazy to people who don’t.

Feb 3, 2026

British people be like “YouChube.”

Feb 3, 2026

People say 70-80 year olds are unemployable because of mental decline, yet somehow they’re running all the countries.

Feb 3, 2026

Dear algorithm, please show this post only to smart people with a refined sense of beauty.

Feb 3, 2026

I let people skate. I never mention the ice is thin.

Feb 3, 2026

The amount of people who “find God” after doing something evil needs to be studied.

Feb 3, 2026

People will say “sounds good” at work when things don’t sound good at all.

Feb 3, 2026

Airports are the perfect place to see people who are experiencing their first day on Earth.

Feb 3, 2026

British people be like “I was born in E-sex, grew up in Woke Ham, moved to Man Chest Hair, went to uni in Rotten Stall.”

Feb 3, 2026

Tinder, but for nearby people that have a printer you can use.

Feb 3, 2026

People will scroll on their phones for 6 hours a day and wonder how other people can watch a movie every day.

Feb 3, 2026

If I were a higher power, and people were doing evil in my name, I’d probably stop it … but that’s just me.

Feb 3, 2026

People in 1999 were using the Internet as an escape from reality. People today are using reality as an escape from the Internet.

Feb 3, 2026

Sure, you can invite more people to the plans we made 2 months ago. The more, the merrier. Also, I’m not going now.

Feb 3, 2026

There are no adults in the room. The cavalry is not coming. Everything was built by people no smarter than you.

Feb 3, 2026

I think probably the reason some people look better at 30 than at 20 is because they’re wealthier.

Feb 3, 2026

I miss when people didn’t talk on speakerphone in public.

Feb 3, 2026

New York is so awesome. Like, yes, let’s spend $108 for breakfast and walk past homeless people freezing.

Feb 3, 2026

How do people post 25 times a day? The only thing I can do 25 times a day is pee.

Feb 3, 2026

I hate when people say “It could be worse” because it could be better, too.

Feb 3, 2026

Sometimes I’m like….. what is the point of all this? And then I hang out with the people I love, and for a brief moment, I see.

Feb 3, 2026

Help, I accidentally used dark humor with normal people, and now they’re concerned for my mental health.

Feb 3, 2026

New term for people with jobs: emploids.

Feb 3, 2026

It actually is crazy how many people I know would benefit from being visited by three ghosts.

Feb 3, 2026

Unfortunately, when you don’t burden people with your problems, they assume you don’t have any. Lol.

Feb 3, 2026

Jokes on you, unknown number. I barely answer my phone for people I know.

Feb 3, 2026

Libraries were a good start, but we need more places where people can’t talk.

Feb 3, 2026

Whole crypto scheme is built on people too dumb for crypto that aren’t self-aware enough to realize it.

Feb 3, 2026

They should build a separate grocery store for people who have actually purchased food before, know how to push a cart, and possess at least an ounce of spatial awareness.

Feb 3, 2026