Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇳 has shared:

God, please — if you don’t want someone to love me, at least make me a millionaire.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has copied:

I have a huge to-do list, I just have to figure out who’s gonna do it.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has bookmarked:

Two sheep walk into a baaaaa.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has viewed:

The real challenge of adulthood is figuring out what to eat every day.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has bookmarked:

If they stole your post, they probably need it more than you do.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has downloaded:

The Airbnb reviews never tell you how comfortable the toilets are for falling asleep on.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has bookmarked:

Doing an hour of self-care after 23 hours of self-destruction.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has shared:

“You should exercise for at least 30 minutes every day”. Okay, and how much if you’re not trying to go to the Olympics?

Someone from 🇬🇼 has downloaded:

I need to hire someone to just constantly slap food out of my hand.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has copied:

English is so fake. How can you drink a drink, but you can’t food a food?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

831 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,993

Funny Quotes Topics

13,936

Funny Quotes Images

10,993

5 hours ago

3,426

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Threads:

All I’m saying is, there are too many songs about love and not enough songs about evenly layered nachos.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Best lie you heard was eat all your food so you can be big and strong. Now look at you. Just big.

Trending via Messenger:

If you are lonely, dim all the lights and put on a horror movie. You won’t feel like you are lonely any more.

Breaking via Messenger:

I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror this morning, so I guess once again my personality will be doing all the work today.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Have you ever noticed that when you step on someone’s foot, they open their mouth? It’s like a folding trash can.

Seen just now on Threads:

“Stop bouncing your leg!” It’s either this or I start screaming.

Going viral on Messenger:

I like my messages, how I like my nuts – MIXED.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

Not being filthy rich is continuing to be a huge inconvenience for me.

Just shared via Reddit:

I have two dogs: one dominates, the other is a subwoofer.

Seen just now on Facebook:

The only thing I know about AI is, it desperately wants us to have more fingers.

Home » Funny People Quotes

782 Funny people quotes

Funny people quotes are a brilliant way to poke fun at the quirks and behaviors that make us all unique! 😄😂 Whether it’s hilarious observations about human nature or witty remarks about everyday life, these quotes will have you laughing out loud. Embrace the humor in being human! 😆🙌

New funny people quotes 👇

9 hours ago
Share →: People always say, “There’s plenty of fish in the sea” … yeah, but I’ve got my eye fixed on that specific, emotionally distant salmon who has commitment issues.

Commentary:
I've got a hook, line, and sinker for that elusive salmon, but they keep ghosting me for the deep blue! 🎣🐟😂
22 hours ago
Share →: When people suck the life out of you, they should take some fat too.

Commentary:
Trying to decide if I should charge a "fat tax" whenever someone drains my energy 😂🍕💪
23 hours ago
Share →: The only way three people can keep a secret is if two of them are dead.

Commentary:
With friends like these, who needs mystery novels? 😂🤐💀
1 day ago
Share →: People don’t catch bullets with their teeth anymore, get out there and practice.

Commentary:
Guess it’s time to start my dental defense training! 🦷🔫😅
2 days ago
Share →: I get writer’s block responding to people.

Commentary:
Relatable! My brain just freezes and pretends it's a popsicle! 🍦🧠
2 days ago
Share →: Some people peak in high school. I peaked when I realized I never had to see them again.

Commentary:
Finally discovered the real graduation gift: freedom from awkward high school reunions! 🎓✨😎
3 days ago
Share →: Some people are so judgmental, I can tell by just looking at them.

Commentary:
Looks like they've got a PhD in judging by covers 📚🔍😂
4 days ago
Share →: Some people are like “I’m a people pleaser,” and not a single person is pleased with them.

Commentary:
Sounds like their people-pleasing skills are in beta testing mode 😂🤷‍♂️
4 days ago
Share →: I don’t understand people who forget to eat. I’m already planning lunch while chewing breakfast.

Commentary:
Eating is my top skill on LinkedIn 😋🥐📅
4 days ago
Share →: I don’t understand why people have to “get ready for bed.” I am always ready for bed.

Commentary:
Always ready for bed, just like a professional napper extraordinaire! 🛌😴🔋

For even more funny people quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny people quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

831 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,993

Funny Quotes Topics

13,936

Funny Quotes Images

10,993

5 hours ago

3,432

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇨 has viewed:

When you’re dead, you don’t know that you’re dead. But it’s hard for those around you. It’s the same when you’re stupid.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has shared:

“AI is coming for your jobs!” I would love to see AI be unemployed.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has downloaded:

They’re putting me through the penny flattening machine at the zoo.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has downloaded:

Nothing bores me like twins who don’t look alike, you should’ve just dropped later if you’re not going to participate.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has shared:

No thank you, I only like men who have no interest in me.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has downloaded:

I have a lot in common with AI. We occasionally provide incorrect information with a confident tone.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has viewed:

Unless I say otherwise, I am always tired.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has viewed:

I don’t even check my bank account no more. I just swipe my card and if it’s god’s will, money will be debited.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has copied:

I visited my doctor today. He told me my sugar was too high. So I came home and moved it to a lower shelf.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has copied:

Even my imaginary friend got bored and left me a note saying ‘we should see other people’

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Messenger:

My body is a machine that turns traumatic experiences into 10 likes on X.

Just landed via Facebook:

If the apple really doesn’t fall far from the tree, my kids are screwed.

Live now on Discord:

Welcome to middle age. You now take pictures of instructions so you can enlarge them.

Just shared via Pinterest:

I wasn’t feeling well so I googled my symptoms. I either have allergies or I died two days ago.

Seen just now on Threads:

Sorry, I’m late. I took a walk around the world to ease my troubled mind.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Are you there, bathroom walls, ceiling, floor, mirror, sink, and towels? It’s me, the kids toothpaste.

Trending via Facebook:

“Cut my life into pieces” screamed the earthworm and threw itself in front of my spade.

Shared recently on TikTok:

You never realize how many curse words are in a song till you play it for your family.

Breaking via X:

It takes guts to be an organ donor.

Live now on WeChat:

There’s not gonna be a civil war. None of us can afford to take that much time off work.

Share Wordgag 🙏

© 2025. All fights retarded. 🤪

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴