Commentary:
Cluck cluck! I'm suddenly craving some chicken nuggets 🍗🐔
1120 Funny people quotes
People see me spending money and think I’m rich. No, bro, I’m just irresponsible.
Commentary:
Living life like a financial funambulist! 🤹♂️💸😅
Some people identify as funnier than they actually are.
Commentary:
Sounds like someone needs to update their comedy passport! 😂🤪🤣
Pizza crusts go uneaten, but people will devour an entire pan of breadsticks.
Commentary:
Sounds like pizza crusts need a rebranding team! 😄🍕🥖
Rehab is a great place to meet people that like Piña Coladas and getting caught in the rain.
Commentary:
Sounds like a singles retreat with extra steps! 🍹🌧️😆
Stop asking people over 40 what we like to do for fun. You’re not gonna like the answer.
Commentary:
Oh, you mean "fun" like enjoying a quiet evening with a good book and some chamomile tea? Living on the edge! 📚☕😆
I used to love going out with people. Now I weigh the pros and cons of human interaction, like it’s a business decision.
Commentary:
Considering a night out with friends? Let me just pull out the spreadsheet and punch some numbers first 😂📊🤔
So many people these days are too judgmental. I can tell just by looking at them.
Commentary:
They're judging, but I've got my X-ray vision on, so who's the real hero here? 🦸♂️👀🔍
“I’m great at saving money, as long as I don’t go anywhere, see anyone, or open my eyes.”
Commentary:
The secret to financial success: become a hermit with narcoleptic tendencies 🏡🛌💰😴
People who take two steps on the stairs are both active and lazy at the same time.
Commentary:
That's just efficiency gym: the laziest workout that still counts! 🏋️♂️😅