279 funny phone quotes - Page 6 - Wordgag

Broke my work phone. I can’t talk on it anymore. I should have done this a long time ago.

May 23, 2026

Can’t, too busy deleting screenshots of my lock screen.

May 23, 2026

Every night at bedtime I do one small ritual: six hours on my cell phone.

May 23, 2026

At 30+, I’m like an old phone battery. Even when you charge me overnight for 10 hours, by midday I’m at 60%.

May 22, 2026

You know what’s worse than someone’s phone alarm playing the tune over and over? Someone else who starts whistling along.

May 22, 2026

If politicians can text my cell phone asking for money, I should be able to text them directly with policy suggestions.

May 22, 2026

Hilarious when peoples outgoing voicemail message says they “can’t make it to the phone right now.” You carry the phone with you. It’s the only constant in your life.

May 22, 2026

I miss being able to study with complete focus for hours. Now I read one sentence and check my phone to see if penguins have legs or just feet.

May 22, 2026

There’s a reason you ain’t ever used your phone in a dream.

May 22, 2026

Google Maps should not count towards my screen time. I’m not addicted to my phone, I’m disoriented.

May 22, 2026

Probably the worst thing you can do when your wife gives you a disapproving look from across the room for being on your phone is finish typing this.

May 22, 2026

Automated phone system: To speak to a representative, please enter the last twelve digits of Pi.

May 22, 2026

Buying a new phone isn’t even satisfying anymore. It’s literally just your old phone with a haircut.

May 22, 2026

Let’s tell the truth cell phone. I don’t have six missed calls. I have six ignored calls.

May 22, 2026

We are all just prisoners here of our phone device.

May 22, 2026

The way some people hold their cell phone to make a call, I always think they’re trying to take a bite out of a sandwich.

May 22, 2026

For as long as that song was, you’d think the Ghost Busters would have mentioned their phone number at least once.

May 22, 2026

It’s a good thing that our phones only convey sight and sound. No offense, but from most of you I would never want to receive a smelfie!

May 22, 2026

When the Olympics finally introduces the event “Dropping your phone and very nearly catching it but not quite” then you’ll all see me shine.

May 22, 2026

I don’t need all of these heat advisory warnings on my phone. I’ve been outside. I have skin. I know.

May 21, 2026

Who called it a missed phone call from your parents and not a boomer rang?

May 21, 2026

Screen time so high, I should send another risky message and then ignore my cell phone for three days.

May 21, 2026

Oh no, a login from a new device? And that device is my phone? The one that I use every single day? And the location is my house, you say? Thank you so much for warning me. I will contact Interpol.

May 21, 2026

Amazing how fast my addiction to my phone is cured the moment I get a phone call.

May 21, 2026

My phone just filmed a 2 hour documentary about life inside my purse.

May 21, 2026

Things can feel really overwhelming. Sometimes days or even weeks can get really hectic. Don’t forget that life is all about getting as much phone time as possible. Never lose sight of that.

May 21, 2026

I miss phone booths. We used to train our immune system in those things.

May 21, 2026

Me: I love you more than a flower loves the sun. Him: I love you more than a teenager loves his phone.

May 21, 2026

If you turn your phone off for 1 day, you’ll realize it’s still 2007 outside.

May 21, 2026

Yes, I sometimes put my cell phone down. Especially when it rings.

May 21, 2026

I wonder what the part of my brain that used to store people’s phone numbers is doing now.

May 21, 2026

Automated phone system: To speak to a representative, please enter the first twelve digits of pi.

May 21, 2026

The adult version of “head, shoulders, knees and toes” is “wallet, glasses, keys and phone.”

May 21, 2026

Remember before social media you would have to pick up the phone and call someone to tell them how much you love bacon?

May 21, 2026

Avoid calls from pesky bill collectors by not paying your phone bill.

May 21, 2026

It’s a beautiful morning. Lots of people out walking their phones.

May 21, 2026

Sometimes I rock it as a parent, other times I drop my phone on my sleeping child while taking a picture of it. It’s called balance.

May 20, 2026

Always remember, if you ever need me, I’m just several phone calls and unread texts away.

May 20, 2026

Taking screenshots of the screenshots buried in my photo library to ‘bring them to the front.’ It’s not a great system, I admit.

May 20, 2026

I suck at charging my phone, 21 percent charged, and I’m taking it off so I can lay the other way.

May 20, 2026