279 funny phone quotes - Page 7 - Wordgag

Nothing humbles me faster than my phone camera accidentally turning on.

May 20, 2026May 20, 2026

Japanese cats answering the phone be like, “Meowshi meowshi.”

May 20, 2026

Hey cell phone companies who play smooth jazz hold music hoping I’ll lose interest and give up: yeah, it’s kinda working.

May 20, 2026

I wish I could lose weight as easily as I lose my keys, phone, temper, and my mind.

May 20, 2026

“Your call is very important to us. Please stay on the line until your call is no longer important to you.”

May 20, 2026

I might be annoying, but at least my lock screen isn’t a selfie.

May 20, 2026

I’ll call it a smartphone when I yell “Where’s my phone?” and it yells back “Down here in the couch cushions!”

May 20, 2026

The bad news is there was a lot of turbulence on my flight this morning. The good news is my phone counted it as steps.

May 20, 2026

Restaurants: put your phone down, live in the moment. Also, scan our QR code and browse our menu.

May 20, 2026

When someone touches my phone, I automatically turn into a ninja.

May 20, 2026

Laying next to my charger waiting for my phone to die, that’s how lazy I am.

May 20, 2026

Hi. I didn’t mean to “like” your tweet. I was scraping dried jelly off my phone.

May 20, 2026

If it was really a smart phone, it would have recognize that it was an ignored call, not missed.

May 20, 2026

My phone is like my lover, it’s the last thing I see at night, and the first thing I wake up to every morning.

May 20, 2026

Dear phone, if you didn’t light up so many times to tell me you had a low battery, you wouldn’t have died so quickly!

May 20, 2026

So tonight me and my phone are playing hide and seek. So far my phone is winning.

May 20, 2026

My phone screen is brighter than my future.

May 20, 2026

I will never forget when my dad had a guy from Verizon call me in middle school to tell me that I was using more data than Obama and that I need to stop.

May 20, 2026

We need an app where introverts can pay extroverts to make phone calls for them.

May 20, 2026

Mouse in a conference call: hold on, I’m gonna put you on squeakerphone.

May 20, 2026

Someone asked, “Can I bum a scroll?” because they deleted Instagram off their phone.

May 20, 2026

Bedrotting is so nice. Just lying in bed, using your phone comfortably.

May 19, 2026

We all need to put the phone down, or it’s over for civilization.

May 19, 2026

Sorry for texting you back instantly. My phone was in my hand, and I’m mature and actually like you.

May 19, 2026

When I was a kid, no phones or tablets. We just read the cereal box at breakfast.

May 19, 2026

Ever since I was a little girl, I knew I never wanted to download the Microsoft Authenticator app on my personal phone to access every professional platform necessary to do my job.

May 19, 2026

On my phone, you’ll never see contacts saved as ‘babe’ or ‘love.’ I save full names—first and last—like a government office.

May 19, 2026

Right before rock bottom, you’ll have a city builder game on your phone.

May 19, 2026

When the salesman from the hearing aid company calls, I stay on the line and answer every question with ‘What?’

May 19, 2026

Googling phone numbers you don’t recognize instead of actually answering the phone.

May 19, 2026

Television is better for you than phone. It is like vaping vs smoking.

May 19, 2026

For someone with a dry phone, I’m on it way too much.

May 19, 2026

I hate when you leave your phone on the side, and it brings up that red evil clock.

May 19, 2026

If you haven’t felt old yet today, try explaining to a teenager how little kids used to sit on a phone book at dinner to be able to reach the table.

May 19, 2026

Phone is a cigarette for eyes.

May 19, 2026

Going out with 38% battery and no boyfriend.

May 19, 2026

Do you ever cycle through the same 4 apps on your phone over and over again, and feel like a tiger pacing its cage at the zoo?

May 19, 2026

No, I can’t tonight. I already have plans to look at my phone somewhere else.

May 19, 2026

The only thing that drains faster than my phone battery is my bank account.

May 19, 2026