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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇬 has copied:

Perfume and jewelry are two things you can never go wrong with gifting me.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has downloaded:

I like winter because I fundamentally understand I deserve to suffer.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has copied:

Is it ‘My wife and I’ or ‘Me and my wife’? Anyway, we just robbed a liquor store.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has shared:

Trying to win an argument online is sociopathic. I would concede anything to get a stranger to leave me alone.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has downloaded:

My love language is being sent money.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has copied:

I think I’ll just sit here and waste oxygen all day.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has copied:

Toys R Us went out of business because their mascot was a stupid giraffe when it could’ve been a toy dinosaur called the Toysaurus. It was right there man.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has downloaded:

I’m always sad when my sandwich is over.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has bookmarked:

Opening a Star Wars pub called Bar Bar Binks.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has shared:

If I had known I looked this sexy in glasses, I would’ve stopped being able to see a long time ago.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,367

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via TikTok:

I’m quitting my job to do topless tarot readings on the beach.

Trending via Telegram:

No we can’t hangout, you’ll end up falling in love with me and I don’t have time for that.

Just shared via YouTube:

I like smoke and lightning, your honor, heavy metal thunder, racing with the wind. You know that feeling I am under.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

“Some men go months without being hugged.” Okay, then they should just hug each other.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

A hot coffee and a crispy bagel doesn’t change anything but it can’t hurt.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

I’m not good with plants or people, but I am good with books and buffets.

Seen just now on YouTube:

It turns out, as you get older, you don’t actually figure anything out; you just don’t have any energy to care anymore.

Making waves on WeChat:

Pretending I’m asleep so my boss has to carry me to the meeting.

Trending via X:

Americans can choose from over 1,000 breakfast cereals but only two presidential candidates?

Making waves on Threads:

Women do not snore. The sound they make at night is just the rewinding of the vocal cords.

28 Funny planet quotes

Funny planet quotes bring cosmic humor to our celestial neighbors! 🌍😂 From witty remarks about the quirks of our own Earth to playful jabs at the other planets in our solar system, these quotes offer a humorous perspective on our place in the universe. Whether you’re stargazing or just daydreaming about space travel, these funny planet quotes will give you a good laugh and make you appreciate the fun side of our galactic home. Enjoy a cosmic chuckle! 🌌😄

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For even more funny planet quotes, hit next 👇

All funny planet quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

19 shares on WhatsApp this month:

My phone and it’s charger are in a situationship and sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn’t.

44 shares on TikTok this month:

Twitter is the black sheep of the web, always in the corner, loudly arguing with itself.

38 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Do you think they’re called cough drops because when you cough really hard they drop out of your mouth onto the floor?

82 shares on TikTok this month:

Sucks how every girl I’m interested in is either taken or has good taste in men.

34 shares on X this month:

I was telling my sister that I’ve been going to the gym recently, and my nephew said, “You should go inside when you get there,” and I don’t think I’ll ever recover from that.

58 shares on Twitch this month:

Ah, summer. When my non-consensual relationship with mosquitoes begins.

59 shares on WhatsApp this month:

School reunion is a scam… nobody is missing anyone, they just want to know whether you have made it in life or not.

50 shares on Twitch this month:

Worst thing about cutting off all your hair is you go to work and everyone treats you like Today’s Special Boy.

67 shares on Messenger this month:

Why would I spend money on the zoo when I can watch my colleagues for free?

31 shares on TikTok this month:

Yes, I’ve gained weight. Too many people wanted to have sex with me. It was annoying.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Your ex is probably in a relationship, thinking about you.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Playing dumb for five minutes often saves a lot of work.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Stop dating if you have no car.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Honestly, I don’t even play an active role in my life any more. Things just happen and I’m like “I guess this is what we’re doing now.”

22 folks are currently checking 👀

The worst part about re-watching Home Alone is you just know Kevin’s parents bought this house for like $250K.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Someone at my job mentioned severance, and I was like, “Oh my God, I love that show,” and they said, “No, I’m about to get fired.”

24 folks are currently checking 👀

WFH is so great until you realize you’ve walked about 17 steps all day.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Be a pineapple: stand tall, wear a crown, and be sweet on the inside.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Used to wonder why my parents couldn’t grasp technology, but now, anytime I see something new, I’m like, “I’m not learning that.”

8 folks are currently checking 👀

The delivery guy absolutely hates it when I call him my pizza mule.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

105 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,374

Funny Quotes Topics

17,485

Funny Quotes Images

15,374

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,242

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇴 has shared:

Seems like paleontologists always have a bone to pick.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has downloaded:

Every time we try to eat healthy, along comes Christmas, Easter, summer, Friday, or Tuesday, and ruins it for us.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has viewed:

Me, on New Year’s Eve: I think instead of kissing at midnight, I’m just going to go outside and scream.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has downloaded:

It’s perfectly normal if you want to watch an actor’s entire filmography because you find them attractive. Don’t let anyone stop you.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has bookmarked:

I love when certain people post their dating app convos, and you get to see what a conversation between two really boring people looks like.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has downloaded:

Hear me out: agenda reveal parties for people we don’t trust.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has downloaded:

She is both the storm and the shelter.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has shared:

My love language is deader than Latin.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has shared:

One year older today, and still no closer to growing up.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has copied:

So, Earth is basically auditions for heaven and hell.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Snapchat:

Ex’s be like “I gave you everything”. Yeah, trust issues.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Vaping: When you feel like smoking but don’t want to look cool.

Just shared via Slack:

You should be able to wash your hair and it stays washed. What do you mean I have to do it again?

Seen just now on Slack:

Update on my fitness journey: My wife just handed me a bag of apples at the market and said, “careful, it’s heavy.”

Live now on Twitch:

When I was growing up I always wanted to be someone. Now I realize I should have been more specific.

Shared recently on TikTok:

If you’re riding a bike in New York City, it means you care about your health. Riding one in Tennessee means you got a DUI.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Keeping a picture of my bed in a locket around my neck and staring at it longingly on my lunch break.

Going bananas on Threads:

Marriage is between two people: one person who is on the verge of sleep and one person who is asking if the front door is locked.

Seen just now on Discord:

But that was my emotional support daylight.

Going viral on Twitch:

I hate when I turn off my brights for an incoming vehicle and then realize it’s a Cybertruck.

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