Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇿 has viewed:

Just pulled a Werther’s Original out of my pocket, like I’m 87 years old.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has viewed:

I need a Netflix show called: “Background noise while you scroll on your phone.”

Someone from 🇻🇺 has copied:

I don’t think you all understand. If Taylor Swift didn’t have a private jet, she’d be Taylor Slow.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has viewed:

I don’t need a fancy watch to tell me I’m not fit one bit.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has shared:

I didn’t go to the Carribean, my tan is from standing in front of the rotisserie chicken at Costco.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has shared:

I love making the whole conversation so awkward that the most anyone can say after is “so yeah…”

Someone from 🇹🇳 has shared:

Seeing yourself on a FaceTime screenshot really humbles you.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has viewed:

Called in, “I’m a time traveler. I came in today yesterday.”

Someone from 🇪🇨 has downloaded:

I just want peace, not a notification every time someone breathes.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has downloaded:

Just went to the Oreo website and hit “accept all cookies” … and now we wait.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,275

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Instagram:

Your suitcase just texted. It’s getting bored.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Bro, are you a black hole, because you suck energy and light?

Shared recently on TikTok:

You’re old if you’re excited to learn how to play Mahjong.

Just shared via Instagram:

Dentists get rich by staring into your mouth for 30 seconds, playing sinking ships with their assistant, and then telling you to brush better.

Just shared via Slack:

If you are sad, just sing and you will realize that your voice is worse than your problem.

Making waves on Messenger:

Babies will literally step on your face just to grab what they want.

Just landed via TikTok:

Humans were not meant to have this many passwords.

Making waves on Discord:

December, give me a sweet ending for this year please.

Just shared via Instagram:

Santa keeps a pair of mounted antlers over his fireplace to keep the reindeer from unionizing.

Making waves on Reddit:

Waiting patiently for the alien invasion.

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Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

58 shares on Snapchat this month:

The problem with leading by example is that no one pays attention.

87 shares on X this month:

What’s the opposite of FOMO? The feeling of knowing you made the right decision not going somewhere once you see or hear dispatches from it.

66 shares on Telegram this month:

Spewing nonsense online is the most fun a depressed person is allowed to have in these twisted times.

52 shares on X this month:

I have read that there are imaginary pregnancies. The belly gets bigger and bigger, but there is no baby inside. Finally a diagnosis.

84 shares on Snapchat this month:

No, I mean, it’s great toast. I just didn’t expect it to be French.

52 shares on Snapchat this month:

Winter is actually awesome because if you put on a couple of movies at 5 p.m., it’s already pitch black and the evening is super long, so it feels like you’re staying up til 2 a.m., but in reality, it’s only 11 p.m. 10/10!

44 shares on X this month:

When someone says they’re never going to talk to me again, I do the right thing and say thank you.

85 shares on Threads this month:

Shout-out to the lifeguard who recommended moving the potato to the front of my Speedo.

86 shares on Telegram this month:

They should invent something in between coffee and narcotics.

66 shares on Threads this month:

Due to unforeskin circumcistances …

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Back in my day there was so much toilet paper and so much eggs that we gathered at night and threw them at the houses of our enemies.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but you don’t need a special occasion to buy a cake.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Life is just a sequence of missed opportunities.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Half of Twitter is horny, half is depressed, and the other half don’t know how to do math.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Commenting “humiliation ritual” on a pic of my friend out with his family.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

A mustache is just mouth bangs.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I know I seem a little crazy sometimes, but that’s because I AM.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

If you want to know what God thinks of money, look at the people he gave it to.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Your card declining when you know you have money is a very funny experience.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

No, sorry, next week won’t work. I’ll be a shadow of what I once was.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,519

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇺 has viewed:

Men shouldn’t be allowed to download any app other than Wikipedia.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has viewed:

God, please, for once in my life, let me get what I want.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has downloaded:

People that I dislike shouldn’t be allowed to consume the media that I like.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has shared:

Spotify Wrapped isn’t enough, I want an Excel spreadsheet of my listening habits.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has viewed:

Apparently, throwing the remote against the wall didn’t help recharging the batteries.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has copied:

Might quit my job to focus on summer.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has downloaded:

Please don’t take illegal substances. Or at least, don’t take MY illegal substances.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has downloaded:

There will always be miserable people inviting you to their misery.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has downloaded:

I’m not being smart, I’m just a skilled trained professional in pointing out the obvious.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has viewed:

Ever woken up, kissed the person sleeping next to you and felt glad to be alive? I just did, so I won’t be catching this train again.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Pinterest:

The feminine urge to start a coven.

Just shared via Twitch:

Rich people don’t put their couches against their wall. I moved my couch into the middle of the floor and still haven’t gotten rich. I don’t know what I’m doing wrong here.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

I will never be the person this serving size suggestion wants me to be.

Just shared via Snapchat:

If you get cremated after you die, you can be put into an hourglass and still participate in family game nights.

Just shared via WeChat:

For Valentine’s Day, I’m gift-wrapping a shirt my husband hasn’t worn in years. It’s the thought that counts—and technically, I thought of it twice.

Making waves on Discord:

I’ll see you in your nightmares.

Spotted on WeChat:

I am not someone you have to entertain if you invite me, because I will have canceled.

Shared recently on Discord:

Money enters like Beyoncé and exits like Britney.

Broadcasted on X:

My optimism doesn’t come out of thin air. A flask is involved.

Just landed via Instagram:

Commenting “Obviously AI” on pictures of happy couples.

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