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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇮 has viewed:

All I’m dealing with is broken people. Lord, if I’m a mechanic, please tell me.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has copied:

Make it a habit to cry and act unhinged at meetings so you’re never invited back.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has viewed:

If you get injured playing peekaboo, you end up in the ICU.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has copied:

I get easily confused in the morning. Also in the afternoon and evening.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has copied:

Dear 8 hours of sleep, I miss you so much.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has downloaded:

Running feels great until you compare it to not running.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has viewed:

We all have needs. I need my wife to go run errands so I can swipe the last donut.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has shared:

I used to sell furniture for a living. The trouble was, it was my own.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has copied:

Be the reason why your local woods are haunted.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has bookmarked:

Don’t buy me flowers. A bouquet of KitKats will suffice.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2394 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,556

Funny Quotes Topics

15,236

Funny Quotes Images

12,556

Updated

21 minutes ago

Users Online

3,436

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Squirrels get most of their energy from chewing on powerlines, that acorn thing is just for show.

Trending via Pinterest:

I’ve been heading in the wrong direction for most of my life, but since the earth is round, I’m just going to stick with it and see it through.

Just landed via Twitch:

I may not know what’s going on, but I also have no idea what’s happening.

Going viral on WeChat:

Is it healthier to drink tap water and let the fluoride calcify my pineal gland or drink bottled spring water and let micro plastics settle in my balls?

Spotted on Pinterest:

When your kid asks you where the other parent is, they’re really saying that they’d like to speak with the manager.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Every laptop should have a “cat” button that disables the keyboard so they can nap.

Broadcasted on Threads:

Hey cell phone companies who play smooth jazz hold music hoping I’ll lose interest and give up: yeah, it’s kinda working.

Going viral on TikTok:

Keep your friend’s toast and your enemy’s toaster.

Seen just now on Facebook:

People drive you insane and then say “see, I told you that you’re insane.”

Just shared via Threads:

I’d never pick the lesser of two evils because that means they’re not even good at being evil either.

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Funny quiet strength quotes

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2394 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,556

Funny Quotes Topics

15,236

Funny Quotes Images

12,556

Updated

21 minutes ago

Users Online

3,444

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇾 has copied:

Thinking about quitting my job to focus on my girlfriend.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has bookmarked:

Why would anyone ever jump OUT of a cake?

Someone from 🇸🇿 has downloaded:

What a time to be alive! (Derogatory)

Someone from 🇵🇼 has shared:

People are too casual about the fact that parrots can talk.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has viewed:

My one cat vomited her dinner and then the other cat went in and started eating it. And that, my friends, is what ChatGPT is to me.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has bookmarked:

Why is everyone mean to the kindest people for absolutely no reason?

Someone from 🇧🇸 has bookmarked:

Therapy isn’t enough. I need to be electrocuted and get my memory erased.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has copied:

That awkward moment when you have to pretend that you like the gift.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has copied:

Hit my coworker with “you’re a lucky man” after I saw a picture of his wife just to let him know that I want to sleep with her.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has downloaded:

Tried counting sheep, but now I’m emotionally invested in their backstories and I think one might need therapy.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Threads:

Back to work at last! I couldn’t sleep for sheer anticipation.

Freshly posted on Slack:

I just hit the back arrow on a website, and it took me to a page that said, “Before you leave.” No. I already made the decision.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Why is judge the only job where you can bang a little hammer to make people shut up? I’ve needed that in literally every job I’ve had.

Just shared via YouTube:

Pretty cool that we all come together on Christmas and celebrate the birth of Santa.

Breaking via Facebook:

If I get rid of social media, how will I know what everyone ate for dinner?

Just shared via Snapchat:

Yesterday, thieves broke into my home. They searched everywhere and found nothing. They beat me up, telling me to work harder.

Reported on Telegram:

Reverse cowgirl, so we can both address the elephant in the room.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Love is not pushing them down the stairs when you have the opportunity.

Shared recently on Twitch:

Yeah, I have a drinking problem. It’s called dehydration.

Making waves on Facebook:

I like my bed more than I like most people.

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