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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇦 has viewed:

Someone should bite my inner thighs just to see what type of noises I make. For science.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has bookmarked:

“Fries or salad?” sums up every adult decision you have to make.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has shared:

I get sad when I see how old people my age are.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has downloaded:

Please just wait until my mating ritual is over before you decide.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has copied:

I don’t even believe myself when I say I’ll be ready in 5 minutes.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has downloaded:

If you want to be sure that you never forget your wife’s birthday, just try forgetting it once.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has shared:

A delivery driver just asked for my date of birth. I said, “94.” He replied, “Is that 1994?” Oh, sorry mate, no. My bad, that was 1794. Right around the French Revolution.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has bookmarked:

That second wave of sleep after waking up too early.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has shared:

Girls will be like “it’s fine” then start drawing a pentagram in blood on their floorboards.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has shared:

Men be like, “I want you.” Yeah, to suffer.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

242 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,511

Funny Quotes Topics

17,578

Funny Quotes Images

15,511

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,448

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via LinkedIn:

My girlfriend treats me like a god. She ignores my existence and only talks to me when she needs something.

Shared recently on Reddit:

The worst person you know is studying psychology.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Doctors don’t really need to hit you with that rubber hammer, it’s just how they release a lil tension through the day.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Your password must contain a character… with a tragic backstory.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

In English we say: “You changed.” But in poetry we say: “You became a stranger wearing the face I used to love, and I am haunted by the ghost of who you were.”

Making waves on WhatsApp:

A delivery driver just asked for my date of birth. I said, “94.” He replied, “Is that 1994?” Oh, sorry mate, no. My bad, that was 1794. Right around the French Revolution.

Going viral on Messenger:

We have decided to sell the house. How long do you think it will take for our landlord to find out?

Going viral on Threads:

The more water you drink, the more bathroom breaks, the less you work. Stay hydrated.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

You seem really unhinged, we should grab coffee sometime.

Spotted on Slack:

I hate when people call my phone! I don’t use it for that.

Funny sadist quotes

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All funny sadist quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

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🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

19 shares on Telegram this month:

Not having a crush is dangerous. What am I supposed to think about? What if I invent something?

82 shares on Pinterest this month:

I feel like my greatest accomplishment today has been not saying what I’m thinking out loud.

15 shares on Instagram this month:

Professor: Most of you won’t pass this course. Me: Cool, so you’re like, real shitty at your job.

37 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Ever since I was a little girl, I have loved staying up really late, hanging out with myself, and thinking about stuff and things.

69 shares on TikTok this month:

I say things I don’t mean on spicy chicken.

26 shares on Facebook this month:

I accidentally hit a parked car, so I left them a note that said “next time it will be you”.

92 shares on YouTube this month:

When someone yells stop, I don’t know if it’s in the name of love, it’s hammer time, or if I should collaborate and listen.

36 shares on LinkedIn this month:

The best way to enjoy your tea while the world is falling apart around you is to remember that the world has always been falling apart around you.

69 shares on Instagram this month:

The worst person to share a room with is someone who puts on 10 alarms 2 mins apart each, and wakes up at none.

48 shares on Slack this month:

Enjoy the time between diapers!

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I miss getting my misinformation from less places.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

The concept of a courtroom sketch artist is so funny to me. Here’s our little murder doodler.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Reading a book is nice, but reading a book in the middle of the night when everyone is asleep is even better, it’s therapeutic.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m bored, but not “read a book for fun” bored.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

The lion does not concern himself with social proof.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Tuesday is just Monday wearing a fake mustache.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Always be kind. You never know who has a pool.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Swimming is so embarrassing, everyone can see you want to be alive.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I simply accept my extreme loneliness as punishment for something I did in a past life, and don’t worry about it.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

242 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,511

Funny Quotes Topics

17,578

Funny Quotes Images

15,511

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,284

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇭 has bookmarked:

Starting to think business is standing on me.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has bookmarked:

I hope the next time you’re stressed, it’s because you’re choosing between Japan, Bali, Switzerland, or the Maldives.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has downloaded:

I’d imagine the sound of clowns having sex would just be a cacophony of bicycle horns.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has downloaded:

How does world hunger exist when we can fry air?

Someone from 🇦🇬 has bookmarked:

One thing I hate more than a liar is a liar that thinks I’m dumb.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has copied:

“Grey” is a better spelling than “gray” because “e” is a greyer letter than “a.” I will not elaborate.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has downloaded:

Being a social worker is crazy because those are literally my two least favorite things.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has downloaded:

Public urination isn’t a crime if you do it in your pants.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has downloaded:

That urge to nap between 3pm – 5pm is no joke.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has shared:

You unfollow me because you are afraid of falling in love with me. I know!

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Instagram:

Show me in the employee handbook where it says I can’t make weird noises in my cubicle.

Just landed via Reddit:

“Your password is too weak.” Just wait until you see my will to live.

Going viral on Telegram:

Dating app that matches you based on your risk tolerance for airport arrival timing.

Trending via Facebook:

“I’m interested in the divorce rate for couples who sleep in queen versus king beds.”

Going viral on Messenger:

Literally no one understands something more completely than a woman in a meeting who starts a question with “Just so I understand …”

Live now on Instagram:

I wish I could join, but I’m busy plotting revenge because my kids laughed when I showed them I can shake it better than Shakira.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

This whole “having a job” thing is really getting in the way of me having my best life.

Trending via Instagram:

Sometimes all you need is a Saturday to sleep, eat, and do absolutely nothing else all day.

Seen just now on X:

What is that job called where you put the little stickers on fruit? I think I would be good at that.

Just landed via Pinterest:

My therapist is fluffy and walks on four paws.

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