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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇺 has bookmarked:

The incontinent optimist sees the bladder as half empty.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has copied:

Got so emotional thinking about the Toy Story aliens. They have each other.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has bookmarked:

Every app is a dating app if you are creepy enough.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has shared:

I told my wife to embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has bookmarked:

If I ever went to jail for murder, it would be for murdering my printer.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has downloaded:

Gen Z will be like “OMG new life hack!” and then it’s a video of them adjusting the toaster dial.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has viewed:

You never know how strong you are until someone’s story runs more than 5 minutes long.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has bookmarked:

I logged on to Amazon and they said that they have run out of things that I don’t need.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has bookmarked:

Hey boy, are you the sun? Because you were a big part of my life this summer but now I feel like I never see you.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has bookmarked:

Of course, a wife can complain to her mother-in-law. She has every right to complain to the manufacturer.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

784 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,946

Funny Quotes Topics

13,917

Funny Quotes Images

10,946

Updated

32 minutes ago

Users Online

3,434

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Discord:

College is not even mentioned once in the Bible. Somebody get me outta here.

Shared recently on Messenger:

I don’t want to alarm anyone, but my doctor says I have an irreversible terminal condition called aging.

Broadcasted on Discord:

Becoming a man doesn’t happen the first time you fight or make love. It happens the first time you see the gas bill and remind everyone that we aren’t trying to heat the outside.

Going viral on Threads:

“Just circling back on this.” – “Take another lap.”

Live now on Threads:

This time last night, there was a spider so big in my bathroom it put me under a glass on a postcard and carried me out.

Going viral on Pinterest:

People who sound like fonts: Ariana Grande. Roman Roy. Jim Courier. Lydia West. Bon Iver. Suella Braverman. Jesse Ventura.

Live now on Messenger:

Not being able to see Likes on posts is a tragedy. Love it when two people are arguing and you can see all their little backup dancers.

Making waves on TikTok:

I don’t need a psychic to tell me which planets make me sad. It’s earth.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Think like a crazy person, and then you’ll understand.

Shared recently on Slack:

Millennials aren’t having kids because no one’s made lo-fi hip-hop beats to yell at your kids to.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

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Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media need people procrastination relationship sarcasm social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

784 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,946

Funny Quotes Topics

13,917

Funny Quotes Images

10,946

Updated

32 minutes ago

Users Online

3,432

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇻 has viewed:

My bank account may not be full but my sink, laundry basket and arteries sure are.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has downloaded:

People said follow your dreams, so I went back to bed.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has downloaded:

The pain of watching a movie with someone who talks a lot.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has downloaded:

Don’t talk to me about regrets if you’ve never had someone’s name tattooed on you.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has bookmarked:

I wish people would stop holding back and use social media to tell us how they really feel.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has downloaded:

At least I can say I tried. I didn’t try, but I can say I did.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has shared:

They invented the word metallic, because irony was already taken.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has copied:

I’m not a good fit for the traditional job market because my greatest strengths are challenging authority, being self-righteous, and wanting to go home.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has downloaded:

Less is more, unless it’s kindness, sleep, or toilet paper.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has copied:

“I made this with AI.” Yeah, we can tell.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Messenger:

I used to be able to eat whatever I wanted without gaining weight. Now I pick up a fork and gain seven pounds.

Making waves on WeChat:

My mom gave me a coffee mug that says “Be your own kind of beautiful” and I’m really trying not to read too much into that.

Just shared via TikTok:

You either have a full ketchup bottle in your house or an almost empty one. There’s no in-between.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Gay? We don’t use that word anymore. Person of rainbow.

Just landed via WeChat:

By the power vested in me by Facebook, I now pronounce you unfriended and restricted. You may now kiss my butt.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

That moment when you cut into a seedless watermelon and find out it’s only allegedly seedless.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Automated phone system: To speak to a representative, please enter the first twelve digits of pi.

Shared recently on TikTok:

I don’t want to “act young”. I just can’t be as “grown up” as others my age.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

I am not responsible for what my face does when you talk.

Seen just now on Messenger:

I keep my mind active by worrying.

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