Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇷 has downloaded:

Shazam-ing a song in public feels the same as taking out a big hammer and bonking yourself on the head.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has downloaded:

I’ll stop being so lazy when being so lazy stops being so awesome.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has viewed:

Stop blaming yourself for your failures. Learn astrology and blame the planets.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has viewed:

At the dispensary asking which strain will stop the yearning.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has viewed:

I made a graph showing my past relationships. It has an ex axis and a why axis.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has downloaded:

The name Ella is short for Mozzarella.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has bookmarked:

Can I come over and overstay my welcome?

Someone from 🇹🇲 has bookmarked:

People who live in glass houses should install frosted glass around the toilet part.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has downloaded:

No one talks about the resentment you have towards yourself after you didn’t listen to your gut.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has bookmarked:

Enemies to lovers is only good if they’re gay. If I wanted to see a man and a woman yell at each other, I’d just go downstairs and eat with my parents.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,430

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Discord:

Humanity doesn’t deserve a new year, look at the mess they made of the last one.

Seen just now on Messenger:

I know stretching every day will help me, but I don’t want to do it.

Seen just now on Threads:

He called me delusional, but I think he meant delicious.

Broadcasted on Discord:

I lied, there’s no sex. Stand over there and tell me if this painting I’m hanging is straight.

Just shared via Reddit:

Unfortunately, a great many problems in life can be solved by just being hotter.

Spotted on Slack:

The only reason I’d want to go to heaven is to complain to the manager.

Just shared via Discord:

Jane Austen gave us men who crossed fields in the rain. Mine left me on read, and liked someone else’s story.

Making waves on Telegram:

A wise man once said: “Yes, darling. You’re right.”

Spotted on WeChat:

My my husband’s favorite thing is when I blame him for losing something that’s actually in my hand.

Trending via Reddit:

A spiral is just a circle that’s afraid of closure.

Funny secret family quotes

New funny secret family quotes 👇

Absolute worst time of year to have a secret family. Hands down.

2 weeks ago

drama, family, family drama, hands, holiday, holiday stress, humor, secret, secret family, stress, time, worst, worst time, year

All funny secret family quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

21 shares on Messenger this month:

Half of Twitter is horny, half is depressed, and the other half don’t know how to do math.

36 shares on YouTube this month:

It’s all fun and games until your jeans no longer fit.

77 shares on WeChat this month:

There is absolutely no excuse for laziness. But if you find one, let me know.

37 shares on Reddit this month:

Ever since I was little, I knew I wanted people to watch how they speak to me.

46 shares on TikTok this month:

We’ve historically done extremely well with regime change, so this should be a piece of cake.

72 shares on Twitch this month:

Dear ads, I have the buying power of a Victorian milkmaid.

65 shares on TikTok this month:

The phone is the most evil screen. The computer is somewhat evil, but less so than the phone. The TV is benevolent.

82 shares on X this month:

Sorry, I’m late. My alarm didn’t go off because I didn’t set it, because I don’t want to be here.

60 shares on Telegram this month:

Please hesitate to get in touch with me.

76 shares on Messenger this month:

I am just a man, a man who told a woman to calm down, so I guess this is goodbye.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇾 has viewed:

Uber Eats “you forgot to finish your order” notification is funny because I didn’t forget, I just came to my senses.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has copied:

A fly swatter, but for close talkers.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has viewed:

That bourbon chicken from the mall only tastes good on that toothpick. You order it, and it’s not the same, I swear.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has downloaded:

Welcome to your 40s: here’s an extra chin.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has viewed:

“American Pope” sounds like the name of an Amazon prime original series you ignore.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has shared:

God knew I’d be too powerful if He made me not annoying to women.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has copied:

If I delete a tweet, I should disappear with it.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has viewed:

My talents include sneaking out of work early on a Friday.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has copied:

Accordion to a recent survey, inserting musical instruments into sentences largely goes unnoticed.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has copied:

You sound unhinged. Let’s go get mugshots.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on X:

Once I started spending my own money, I realized my mom was right. We do have food at home.

Trending via YouTube:

Whenever I see an athlete eating quark, I get sad, because the quark could have been turned into cheesecake.

Breaking via Twitch:

Ripping the fishnets off my slutty little oranges.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

People in 1999 were using the Internet as an escape from reality. People today are using reality as an escape from the Internet.

Making waves on Messenger:

After 25, you’re pretty much 30.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

Two reasons you never date at work: 1. HR frowns upon it. 2. Your partner gets super pissed.

Just landed via Discord:

I’m so bored of being bored, because being bored is really boring.

Just shared via TikTok:

To be blocked is to be seen and to be seen is to be loved.

Just shared via Threads:

Can somebody explain to me why it’s bad if immigrants take our jobs, but it’s good if AI does?

Seen just now on WeChat:

Being liked at work comes with so many perks, you could be late as hell, and everyone is just happy to see you.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Funny secret family quotes

New funny secret family quotes 👇

Absolute worst time of year to have a secret family. Hands down.

All funny secret family quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨