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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇲 has viewed:

Putting a hot frying pan into a sink running with cold water makes me feel like a blacksmith.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has copied:

Everyone has these three colleagues: The one who is always cold. The one who is always hungry. The one who is always tired. I am everything in one.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has bookmarked:

Old Spice doesn’t sound like something you wanna smell.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has downloaded:

Nothing says sexy like a pair of sensible, silky polka dot PJs.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has downloaded:

Only mosquitoes find me attractive. Nobody else.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has viewed:

Just got some minutes of cardio trying to pick up an ice cube from the kitchen floor.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has copied:

People are too judgmental these days… I can tell just by looking at them.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has viewed:

April Fool’s next week and still no one has asked me to be their fool.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has copied:

I have everything you could possibly ever need in my purse, except for money.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has viewed:

Sorry, can’t. I’m too busy growing new neural pathways to make space for a stranger’s opinion. Evolution takes bandwidth, man.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2393 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,555

Funny Quotes Topics

15,234

Funny Quotes Images

12,555

54 minutes ago

3,457

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Threads:

My patience is like a gift card, not sure how much is left but lets give it a try.

Spotted on Messenger:

I accidentally said “large” instead of “venti” at Starbucks and now the cops are here.

Going viral on TikTok:

When you’re a snowman, everything smells like a carrot.

Making waves on X:

When I was a young boy, the doctor told me I had a lazy eye. By the time I was 50, it had spread to the rest of my body.

Just shared via Discord:

Why can’t I cry money instead of tears?

Making waves on LinkedIn:

The lion doesn’t concern himself with credit card debt.

Trending via Instagram:

Everyone hates math until their paycheck looks funny, then all of a sudden you know trigonometry.

Trending via YouTube:

I hate it when some random company refers to me as their “customer.” I’m like, look, we had one night of drunken shopping, we are not in a relationship.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

I have so much planned today that I was already tired thinking of it yesterday.

Reported on Snapchat:

Date idea: We watch Breaking Bad and break your bed.

Home » Funny Sleep Quotes

368 Funny sleep quotes

Funny sleep quotes are a hilarious way to capture the essence of everyone’s favorite activity—sleep! 😴😆 From hitting snooze one too many times to dreaming of naps during work hours, these quotes will make you laugh and relate all at once. Sweet dreams, or at least some solid laughs before bedtime! 😄🛌

New funny sleep quotes 👇

54 minutes ago
Share →: My morning routine is basically just me convincing myself not to go back to bed.

Commentary:
Sounds like your bed should be giving motivational speeches with its level of persuasion! 🛏️😂☕
2 days ago
Share →: I’m at the age where an uncomfortable bed will have me injured for a couple of days.

Commentary:
Getting older is just a fun game of 'Will this pillow kill my neck today?' 😂😴🛏️
1 week ago
Share →: My favorite pastime is staying up way later than I should and complaining the next day about how tired I am.

Commentary:
The art of nighttime procrastination followed by daytime regret—I'm practically a professional insomniac! 😴☕️😂
1 week ago
Share →: The only thing worse than a nightmare is waking up from a great dream before you get to see how it ends.

Commentary:
When reality hits you like a cold shower just as you were getting to the good part 🌨️💤⏰
1 week ago
Share →: I’m going to get more sleep tonight” is always the first lie I tell myself in the morning.

Commentary:
This is me every morning, and caffeine rewards me for being consistent 😂☕💤
1 week ago
Share →: The reason I stay up late is because I don’t want my free time to end, and tomorrow to start.

Commentary:
Trying to postpone tomorrow like it's a dentist appointment 😅🕒🌙
1 week ago
Share →: Nothing like a grandfather clock to remind you every hour that you’re still awake.

Commentary:
Tick-tock, I'm counting sheep in reverse! 🐑⏰😴
1 week ago
Share →: I’ve got 99 problems. I know this because I wake up in the middle of the night to review each and every one of them in great detail.

Commentary:
Sounds like you've got a highly detailed nighttime drama series running in your head! 🌙🛌📚
1 week ago
Share →: Had the bed all to myself last night, so you know what that means… I slept in a slightly different spot, and now my neck feels weird.

Commentary:
When you finally claim the entire bed but then ruin it with a rogue pillow move 😂🛌💥🦒 #SleepAdventures
1 week ago
Share →: I hope one day I will sleep before midnight like normal humans do. Every day I sleep tomorrow, even yesterday I slept today.

Commentary:
I'm starting to think my sleep schedule is trying to time travel without me! ⏰🚀😴

For even more funny sleep quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny sleep quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2393 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,555

Funny Quotes Topics

15,234

Funny Quotes Images

12,555

54 minutes ago

3,462

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇼 has copied:

Twitter is basically a psychiatric ward where all the patients diagnose each other.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has shared:

Noam Chomsky is a crazy name, like you sound hungry as f***.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has viewed:

If a tree falls in a forest and doesn’t make a sound, maybe that’s where your kid should be practicing the piano.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has bookmarked:

Toothache and heartache comes from the same thing, which is something sweet.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has viewed:

Building a snowman so I can punch it in the face.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has downloaded:

I love hard, but I stupid harder.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has viewed:

If you aren’t sleeping with me, then you’re sleeping against me.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has viewed:

The Recipe for Disaster in me, recognizes the Appetite for Destruction in you.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has viewed:

I birthed my kid faster than she can put on shoes.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has bookmarked:

“Why don’t you tell us anything anymore?” I’ve updated my privacy policy.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Snapchat:

Get in loser. We’re going on a guilt trip.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

I drink so much coffee, people feel jittery when they see a picture of me.

Shared recently on Messenger:

The only way the climate is going to change is if it first admits it has a problem, there’s really nothing we can do.

Trending via Instagram:

Nobody supports you like that one internet friend you’ve never met.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Imagine if you spent all your time studying, actually studying.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

It’s so hot, ice bears are opening lemonade stands.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Bluesky honestly feels like a miracle where you take the most annoying people in the world and stick them in a broken elevator together.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Twitter when Franz Ferdinand got shot would have been the best day ever.

Making waves on Discord:

How lazy are you?” I greet people by raising my eyebrows.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

This too shall pass. And then some other bullshit will come and take its place. It never fucking ends.

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