Funny Sleep Quotes That Will Have You Laughing Your Way to Dreamland! 😴😂

My sleep apnea was diagnosed at a staff meeting.

3 months ago3 months ago

Studies show that sleepwalking has decreased among Americans over the last 10 years. Typical lazy Americans.

3 months ago3 months ago

Hiring a mortician to do my makeup while I sleep.

4 months ago3 months ago

I hate when my cat runs into my bedroom and hisses at an empty chair, then runs back out again; and I then have to fall asleep holding a crucifix.

4 months ago3 months ago

Nobody sighs louder than an unemployed, debt-free dog who spends at least 16 hours a day sleeping.

4 months ago3 months ago

Gimme coffee or I’ll sleep amok!

4 months ago3 months ago

If there’s ever an alien invasion, I hope it doesn’t start while I’m asleep. I hate being woken up before my alarm.

4 months ago3 months ago

Sleeping in now means waking up without the alarm clock, but still at the same time.

4 months ago3 months ago

Why would I want a memory pillow? Sleep is where I go to forget.

4 months ago3 months ago

Body: time to fall asleep. Brain: hey, that’s an interesting thought, here’s six billion more.

4 months ago3 months ago

I’ve heard that some people have kids who sleep through the night and I’d like to know if they use tranquilizers or chloroform.

4 months ago3 months ago

Putting a blanket over my boss so he thinks it’s night time and goes to sleep.

4 months ago3 months ago

I’m implementing a new policy in my house: any child who is awake past bedtime can either go to sleep or clean the house, no exceptions.

4 months ago3 months ago

Women in movies look so beautiful when they sleep. Meanwhile, I’m tossing and turning all night like a forgotten 7-Eleven hot dog.

4 months ago3 months ago

Body: Okay, sleepy time. Brain: Okay, thinky time.

4 months ago3 months ago

Hit my coworker with “you’re a lucky man” after I saw a picture of his wife just to let him know that I want to sleep with her.

4 months ago3 months ago

Camping? No, thank you. If I wanted to sleep outside, I wouldn’t pay my mortgage.

4 months ago3 months ago

If you fall asleep long enough, the steering wheel gives you a pillow.

4 months ago3 months ago

Why is it cute when a baby falls asleep clutching a bottle. Yet, when I do it, it’s “concerning”?

5 months ago3 months ago

Sometimes, when I need a really good night’s sleep, I call my burrito guy to come over and tuck me in.

5 months ago3 months ago

Almost fell asleep while putting on the sweater because it got dark for a moment. That’s all you need to know about my morning state.

5 months ago3 months ago

You’re telling me people get eight hours of sleep? Like in one night?

5 months ago3 months ago

At my age, this “microsleep” can sometimes last hours.

5 months ago3 months ago

I’m not well rested. Sleeping Beauty was well rested.

5 months ago3 months ago

Whoever’s been in charge of the weather for the last few weeks seems to have fallen asleep on the couch with the remote control in their hand.

5 months ago3 months ago

Good morning to everyone except myself cause I wish I was still asleep.

5 months ago3 months ago

Metallica’s “Nothing Else Matters” is my favorite song about that 5 minutes of sleep before the alarm goes off.

6 months ago3 months ago

My daughter asked me what it’s like to be a parent, so I woke her up at 3 AM to let her know that I couldn’t sleep.

6 months ago3 months ago

Having someone sing you to sleep is so comforting, until you realize you are the only one in the room.

6 months ago3 months ago

Ever woken up, kissed the person sleeping next to you and felt glad to be alive? I just did, so I won’t be catching this train again.

6 months ago3 months ago