Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇳 has shared:

British people never go downstairs; they just jump out of a window and open an umbrella like Mary Poppins.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has viewed:

I’m not being smart, I’m just a skilled trained professional in pointing out the obvious.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has downloaded:

I prayed and accidentally mixed up God and Lord and said Gord. So embarrassing.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has shared:

I be skipping everyone’s stories but watch mine like 20 times.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has viewed:

Is stir-fry the only dish where the instructions are in the name?

Someone from 🇦🇫 has viewed:

Sorry boys, but I’ve already got my eyes on a guy who’s not interested.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has viewed:

Forgetting how to clean the dishes and shooting them with a gun.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has bookmarked:

Wow, this person is full of shit. Oh, I’m on my own page.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has bookmarked:

When I eat rotisserie chicken, I like to pretend that I’m performing an autopsy.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has downloaded:

No one shoots at your feet and tells you to dance anymore.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

231 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,500

Funny Quotes Topics

17,568

Funny Quotes Images

15,500

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,478

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Slack:

Situation monitoring is not for the uncaffeinated.

Spotted on Twitch:

“What fresh hell is this?“ It’s actually the same hell as yesterday. Not fresh at all, really.

Just landed via Facebook:

I didn’t know that Rome wasn’t built in a day. I wasn’t on that job.

Shared recently on Twitch:

People keep wishing January was over like the worst month of the year isn’t coming up next. Thats like wishing someone would stop arguing with you and just punch you in the face.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Writers should get a direct line to the FBI so we can call them and give them a heads up when we’re googling ways to poison someone but just for a story.

Trending via X:

I suck at flirting. I’ll be like “is that so?”

Seen just now on Twitch:

The feelings I have for Tom Cruise are the closest approximation I have to what patriotism must feel like.

Trending via Reddit:

I suck at charging my phone, 21 percent charged, and I’m taking it off so I can lay the other way.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

Breaking: man who liked me first no longer likes me.

Live now on Snapchat:

Why are they called “grammar Nazis” and not “the Gestypo”?

Funny stalker quotes

Funny stalker quotes are the perfect mix of creepy and hilarious that’ll make you laugh out loud 😂👀 Whether you’re poking fun at that one friend who’s always “watching” or just love quirky humor, these witty lines bring a playful twist to the art of being a little too interested 😜📱 Get ready to giggle and share some lighthearted stalking vibes with a smile!

New funny stalker quotes 👇

All funny stalker quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

25 shares on Telegram this month:

The billionaires have decided that the people with nothing have too much.

57 shares on Threads this month:

People tell me to just be myself like that would be a good thing.

64 shares on Instagram this month:

When someone is in a Christmas eve panic, I always find that “well, maybe you should have thought of that sooner” is a helpful phrase.

33 shares on Twitch this month:

80% of Americans just want to put on sunglasses and say, ‘Let’s do this.’

67 shares on TikTok this month:

Making eye contact with strangers on the sidewalk and saying “it’s crazy that they just let me walk around, haha”.

89 shares on X this month:

My favorite childhood memory is having energy.

66 shares on Twitch this month:

I wish anxiety came with french fries.

39 shares on Slack this month:

I wonder if the sun also takes pictures of humanity going down?

46 shares on Slack this month:

I was talking to someone and combined “all good” and “no worries” by saying “all worries”, which was a lot more accurate.

42 shares on Slack this month:

I’m homeless. Minus the ‘m’.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Going to hack Kanye’s account and make him post something normal.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

A 20% discount sounds great until you realize you can’t afford the other 80%

8 folks are currently checking 👀

You know when a donkey followed Shrek home and just kept talking? That’s what it’s like having kids.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Irregardless, for all intensive purposes, I could care less.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I am the opposite of artificial intelligence. I am authentic stupidity.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

When my husband says, “Let me ask my wife,” he’s just using me as an excuse to get out of whatever you’re asking him to do.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

No, don’t worry about him, babe. That’s just my soulmate.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Please don’t flirt with me. I’m trying not to cheat on my crush who doesn’t like me.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Actually, men should take the pill. It makes more sense to unload the gun than to shoot at a bulletproof vest.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Sometimes I think the subway rat is doing better than me. He has a routine, a social circle, and knows where to find the best pizza.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

231 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,500

Funny Quotes Topics

17,568

Funny Quotes Images

15,500

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,426

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇩 has downloaded:

Shoutout to drug dealers for teaching the metric system to Americans.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has shared:

A service where you bring a working printer to my house, I print the one thing I need, and you leave again until next year.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has copied:

Home is where you can walk around like a bum.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has shared:

If my TV’s so smart then why doesn’t it slap me when I turn on the news?

Someone from 🇳🇪 has viewed:

I bet the kids in Mrs. Doubtfire were surprised when found out their nanny was famous actor Robin Williams the whole time.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has viewed:

If I say goodnight and an hour later you see me online, it’s not that I lied; it’s just that I failed.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has viewed:

Reverse cowgirl because you made me mad, and I can’t even look at you right now.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has copied:

Everyone wants the bagel to be everything, but no one asks if the bagel needs anything.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has bookmarked:

*Pointing at a mothers shrieking baby* Is this guy bothering you?

Someone from 🇰🇬 has viewed:

I knew I had issues when motivational speakers started to irritate me.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Are people born with photographic memories or do they take time to develop?

Spotted on WeChat:

Microdosing bungee jumping by bending over to pick up a hair tie.

Just landed via Messenger:

When people say, “Stop living in the past,” my thought in turn is, “But the music was so much better then!”

Going viral on WhatsApp:

When they say screen time is bad for you, they just mean the ones at work, right?

Spotted on Snapchat:

What we need is more companies making hot sauce. I need 900 more ways to taste a thing that tastes exactly like all the other ones.

Just landed via Instagram:

Moose would have been a better name for a cow.

Trending via YouTube:

I used to be able to eat whatever I wanted without gaining weight. Now I pick up a fork and gain seven pounds.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

My hobbies include adding things to my cart, and never buying them.

Just landed via WeChat:

I have almost 100,000 miles on my office chair. So I got that going for me.

Just shared via Telegram:

I think the worst part about the collapse of civilization will be all those people with no way to remove their braces.

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