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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇲🇬 has bookmarked:

Roses are red. Violets are blue. I hate the sounds you make when you chew.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has copied:

Some things are better left alone, like me, for instance.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has viewed:

Men be like, “That’s my dream girl,” then ruin her perspective of love forever.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has downloaded:

I don’t “make friends”. I get adopted by extroverts and they make me do things.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has bookmarked:

Calling ahead to the cafe to warn them to “get those beans brewing”.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has bookmarked:

Welcome to your 40s. Your eyes are now like a camera someone doesn’t know how to focus.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has copied:

“Grey” is a better spelling than “gray” because “e” is a greyer letter than “a.” I will not elaborate.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has bookmarked:

Wonder what I should wear to World War III.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has copied:

Nothing refreshes my memory of what I need at the grocery store like coming home from the grocery store.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has downloaded:

Mayor of a small town is such a wild job. It’s like being the president of a country where you went to high school with the whole population.

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,423

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on YouTube:

If you think I’m annoying, give it some time. You’ll know for sure pretty soon.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

Anyone else’s phone make a retching noise when you unlock it with Face ID?

Trending via Snapchat:

Whoever is dating my ex, all I can say is: cheat first!

Live now on X:

Gonna vibe recklessly and call it “character development”

Just shared via WeChat:

Making a record-breaking number of bad choices today, I’m really proud of myself.

Shared recently on Facebook:

I think, therefore I am. I am, therefore I think. Therefore I am. I think.

Freshly posted on Discord:

The first person to realize you can eat bone marrow must have really hated that cow.

Going viral on TikTok:

If you can’t beat them, arrange to have them beaten.

Going viral on YouTube:

Humans were not meant to have this many passwords.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

To anybody who thinks being self-employed means you don’t have to work for a boss you hate, I have terrible news.

201 Funny start quotes

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You know it’s bad when people start telling you, you are the strongest person they’ve ever met.

4 months ago

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Social Media Stars ⭐

15 shares on WeChat this month:

Teens be like, “This is the worst day of my life,” and it’s just that they were told to unload the dishwasher.

78 shares on Messenger this month:

Every Sunday is superbowel if you eat enough chili.

96 shares on Instagram this month:

Date night idea: fight another couple.

20 shares on Discord this month:

Nothing makes me feel more powerful than when I write ‘furthermore’ in an email.

13 shares on TikTok this month:

If I were karma, I’d watch my back.

28 shares on Messenger this month:

“Boy, you made these perimenopausal ovaries come back to life,” – me flirting.

44 shares on Threads this month:

Pugs look like regular dogs that ran into a door at full speed.

100 shares on WhatsApp this month:

After much deliberation, I’ve come to the conclusion that I’m an overthinker.

96 shares on Facebook this month:

They give smokers all those breaks to make up for the time taken off their lifespan.

88 shares on Snapchat this month:

A haunted house, but every room is just learning more about Will & Jada.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇹 has shared:

Self-care is smoking a solo blunt with music.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has copied:

Twitter can teach you a lot of lessons. Grammar is not one of them.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has viewed:

Meow means woof in cat.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has bookmarked:

Warning: This movie contains “Adult Themes” such as interest rates, bad knees, back pain, and excitement about going to bed early.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has bookmarked:

At 20, I was unstoppable; at 30, I’m just unstartable.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has shared:

I think I’ll just sit here and waste oxygen all day.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has downloaded:

Not going is the new leaving early.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has shared:

If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands?

Someone from 🇲🇹 has copied:

Normalize booing in the workplace.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has downloaded:

Every Friday, I’m like, “This weekend I’m getting my life together,” and then… I don’t.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Apparently it’s inappropriate to yell out “Shots, shots, shots, shots” while your child’s getting immunizations at the pediatrician’s office.

Spotted on YouTube:

I love cute tiny purses, but I’m sad to say I can never be a cute tiny purse girl. I need to haul my hoard of objects everywhere I go, because what if….

Making waves on Discord:

Life is so boring when you don’t have a package on the way.

Spotted on YouTube:

Being lazy has its advantages. I still have most of my winter fat from last year.

Breaking via Snapchat:

Looks like it’s just you and me tonight, family size Toblerone.

Going viral on Threads:

If cats could text you back, they wouldn’t.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

I know some people don’t like me, but what can I do, not everyone has good taste.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

My kids act like they’re afraid of monsters, when they are literally the most terrifying creatures I’ve ever met.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

December. The month at work where everything is January’s problem.

Shared recently on Threads:

I don’t understand my wardrobe. It’s full, but I don’t have clothes.

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201 Funny start quotes

More funny start quotes 👇

You know it’s bad when people start telling you, you are the strongest person they’ve ever met.

All funny start quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

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