Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇳 has shared:

Ever ghost an entire event to avoid one ghost from your past?

Someone from 🇦🇩 has copied:

The only talent I have is spending more than I bring in.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has shared:

I hate it when I’m singing a song and the artist gets the words wrong.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has shared:

I tried to walk like an Egyptian and now I need to see a Cairo practor.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has shared:

I was born to be wild, but only until around 9pm or so.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has downloaded:

If cats could text you back, they wouldn’t.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has viewed:

The difference between the kids table and the adults table during holiday dinners is that there is much more screaming, crying, and arguing at the adults table.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has bookmarked:

People delete their social media and start acting like they got a master’s degree in maturity.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has downloaded:

Welcome to Twitter, where everyone is an expert on everything.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has bookmarked:

Spoiler alert: Monday doesn’t care about your feelings.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,701

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Slack:

I love how spring sprung and then disappeared again.

Going viral on Instagram:

Ever read something so magnificently stupid that you have to just stare into space for a little while and reconcile with your brain for having been subjected to it?

Making waves on Messenger:

Let’s ruin each other’s sleep schedules and call it romance.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Went on a date with a guy who didn’t ask me any questions about myself, so it’s on him when he finds out about my husband.

Seen just now on Slack:

None of the parenting books say what to do when your kids start calling you ‘Bruh.’

Freshly posted on Twitch:

I don’t know how to mop my kitchen floor without pretending l’m cleaning up a gruesome crime scene.

Making waves on Messenger:

Somewhere there’s a girl ignoring 15 guys for a guy who gives her no attention.

Just shared via X:

Wild that we could have been foraging for berries and dying off at 33, but we chose this nonsense instead.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

I don’t wanna brag, but I’ve been told I’m micro-management material.

Going viral on Snapchat:

I hope Google never goes down. I know like six, maybe seven, things.

Funny stick to quotes

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Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

97 shares on YouTube this month:

Pharaohs were buried with their hands crossed their chest because of their belief there would be countless water slides in the after life.

86 shares on Instagram this month:

If you want to sell something to a woman, show her other women using it. If you want to sell something to a man, prove to him no other man has it.

25 shares on Snapchat this month:

Aliens traveled millions of light years to get here to visit New Jersey.

65 shares on Facebook this month:

There will never be a perfect time. Make that mistake now.

27 shares on Twitch this month:

“I’m gonna sneak past you.” No you’re not. You’ve alerted me.

11 shares on Slack this month:

How you conduct yourself when using plastic wrap is the real you.

67 shares on Snapchat this month:

My fight or flight response has frequent flyer miles.

12 shares on Messenger this month:

I concern myself with the opinions of sheep because they are cute.

17 shares on Messenger this month:

Procrastination isn’t a horrible thing. I mean, you always have something to do tomorrow… plus you have nothing to do today.

27 shares on YouTube this month:

I’ll marry the person who can go to a family event with me and still like me afterward.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

15 folks are currently checking 👀

“You look tired!” Bro, I want to stop existing.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Which is it, brain? Does nothing matter or do I need to be anxious about everything?

15 folks are currently checking 👀

A college education is one of the few things a person is willing to pay for and not get.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I would never put up a lost dog poster. I’m not letting the whole neighborhood know I fumbled.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

The only men you can trust is ramen.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

There are 400 billion stars in our galaxy and perhaps two trillion galaxies in total, and I just wonder if Miss Universe fully understands her achievement.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m not fat. I’m just easy to see.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

The urge to pee in the morning is so aggressive. Bro, like, chill we’re getting there. Don’t threaten to come out.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I belong to the generation that repaired the TV with a single blow to the casing.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I truly wonder what it sounded like when Medusa washed her hair at night.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,533

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇿 has shared:

You want me to sit in the back seat? The thing that killed JFK?

Someone from 🇲🇩 has copied:

Your honor, my client would like to play on his phone for a little bit

Someone from 🇰🇼 has copied:

Dark mode changed me. White screens now feel like staring into the sun.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has bookmarked:

Toilets are not a crime scene, traces may be removed!

Someone from 🇸🇷 has copied:

Welcome to Twitter, where everyone is an expert on everything.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has viewed:

I love how these vegans still drink water. That’s a fish’s house!

Someone from 🇱🇷 has viewed:

I never make the same mistake twice. I make it three four times, you know, just to be sure!

Someone from 🇸🇾 has downloaded:

That beeping of the parking assistant when you get too close to other cars. I’d like that for people.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has shared:

If I learned anything in college, it’s that pepper spray only stings for a couple hours.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has downloaded:

Being on a diet isn’t so bad if you don’t follow it.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Threads:

Whoever came up with “penny for your thoughts,” “don’t nickel and dime me,” and “another day another dollar” sure knew how to coin a phrase.

Making waves on Facebook:

Your childhood wasn’t complete unless you were chased by a dog… or a goat… or even worse, a chicken.

Going viral on WeChat:

Thinking of becoming the “where’s my hug” guy in prison.

Spotted on Discord:

“I’m asking Santa to bring some of you a sense of humor for Christmas.”

Going viral on Pinterest:

Nothing fixes your life the way deactivating Instagram does.

Making waves on Messenger:

Appliances always know when you’re getting a tax refund.

Breaking via Facebook:

No one flirts better than a guy who’s not interested in you.

Making waves on TikTok:

They’re releasing another “Jurassic” movie. Let me guess: The dinosaurs get loose.

Going viral on Threads:

Can’t say “I’m tired” without my mom making it a competition of who is the most tired and who has more reason to be.

Live now on X:

Never signed up for a 401k cause there’s no way in hell I can run that far.

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