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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇳 has shared:

Please don’t delete your post. Yes, it was pretty stupid, but my reply to it was a masterpiece.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has shared:

I ate my exam paper. Which means that pretty soon I’ll pass the test.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has shared:

Worst part of a corporate job is no tips. Someone should slip you a $20 if you write a killer email.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has downloaded:

I hate starting new relationships. I gotta act like I ain’t crazy for two months.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has viewed:

People on diet aren’t mad at you. They’re mad at their lunch.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has bookmarked:

Today sucked so bad, I had to stop by the liquor store on my way to the bar.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has downloaded:

Inflation is actually a good thing, it means money is going viral.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has bookmarked:

Life is like a penis. Sometimes it’s up, sometimes it’s down. But it’s never hard forever.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has downloaded:

I used to question authority, but now I question everything.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has copied:

Just gonna drink light beers today, because I don’t wanna get drunk but I do enjoy peeing 30 times.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,318

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Instagram:

How my weekend was? Light, dark, light, dark, Monday.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

You’d seriously think I was wanted for murder by the way I react when someone knocks on the door.

Shared recently on X:

I hate it when I check my transactions history, and everything adds up like damn, so no one stole from me.

Breaking via Instagram:

I love how this generation broke the previous misconception that “people with tattoos can’t get good jobs” and now we all agree that “people with and without tattoos can’t get good jobs”.

Trending via Telegram:

I hate when I gain 10 pounds for a role and then realize I’m not an actor.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

You cannot go outside for a year or two. Come back, and the same people still be outside in the same places.

Trending via LinkedIn:

I don’t need all of these heat advisory warnings on my phone. I’ve been outside. I have skin. I know.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Who’s up thinking about the crushing weight of existence?

Making waves on Twitch:

I hate how l am a “I have an appointment at 4pm so I can’t do anything all day” type of person.

Trending via Threads:

Welcome to your 40’s: you have big plans tonight. No, you don’t.

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Social Media Stars ⭐

98 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I don’t want to alarm anyone, but my doctor says I have an irreversible terminal condition called aging.

94 shares on Snapchat this month:

The date abruptly ended over a disagreement on how to pronounce Gnocchi.

79 shares on Slack this month:

Maybe the reason you haven’t found your soulmate is because you don’t have a soul.

87 shares on Threads this month:

Touch my butt, not my coffee.

24 shares on TikTok this month:

That “never again” talk with yourself after a certain experience is always funny.

57 shares on Discord this month:

The only love triangle I’m interested in is between me, my book, and my cozy blanket.

74 shares on X this month:

God created childbirth so women could know how men feel when we have a cold.

77 shares on Snapchat this month:

Currently helping my kids find the chocolate that I ate last night.

90 shares on Pinterest this month:

Did you ever buy a pack of underwear, take them out, and think, wow, these are huge… then try them on, and they fit perfectly?

42 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I followed my heart, and it led me to the fridge.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Requesting the Pink Panther theme song at karaoke and just standing on the stage motionless the entire time.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I will not accept a hint. I will act dumb until you say it clearly to me.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m really looking forward to getting a full 8 hours of overthinking in tonight.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I have tasted sending long paragraphs, and I have tasted saying OK. I highly recommend saying OK.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Absolutely destroyed my bed last night… I cuddled those covers so hard.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Congratulations on angrily speeding past me to get to the red light first. You’re special.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

This meeting could have been an AI summary.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Gonna get my eye looked at today. Usually it’s the other way around.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I will not stop replying with gifs. I am a Millennial, it’s my birthright.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Super excited about a brand new week of faking it.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,344

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇯 has viewed:

Spotify Wrapped isn’t enough, I want an Excel spreadsheet of my listening habits.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has downloaded:

As everyone was arguing about politics, no one saw me leave with the cake.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has downloaded:

I’m professionally employed and personally unhinged. Balance.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has bookmarked:

Dear Santa, Money!

Someone from 🇩🇴 has copied:

I have to pee. Story of my life.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has copied:

If you’re going through hell, keep going.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has copied:

Why is smoking the only addiction jobs give you breaks to do? I should get 15 minutes every hour to cook up some parlays.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has bookmarked:

Washing your face and water going down your elbow is so sickening.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has bookmarked:

Dear sleep, I’m sorry we broke up this morning. I want you back!

Someone from 🇰🇲 has bookmarked:

Behind every great tweet is a person rolling their eyes.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Messenger:

Why do you always wanna change your life before you fall asleep, then in the morning you wake up like ‘Nah!’

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Turns out I like you a lot more than I originally planned.

Just shared via X:

Excuse me sir, are you going to finish that existential crisis?

Freshly posted on Threads:

I think it’s extremely important, especially in the morning, to be quiet.

Shared recently on Facebook:

I wonder how long you could drive in a roundabout before a cop would be like, hey, you can’t do that anymore.

Making waves on Snapchat:

The first Humans saw the sun go up and then back down, and so they decided to call it a day.

Just landed via Messenger:

I’ve never met a problem I couldn’t turn into a disaster.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

After you’ve been married a long time, you become able to communicate nonverbally. At least, I’m pretty sure that’s why we never speak.

Just shared via Threads:

Some people are storms dressed like sunsets. Beautiful from a distance. Dangerous up close.

Making waves on Twitch:

Sorry for being weird. It’s just that everything I talk about reminds me of every other thing I wanna talk about, so I try to talk about everything at the same time and explode.

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