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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇩🇿 has shared:

My dogs have learned that whenever they hear the f-word in the kitchen, there’s now food on the floor.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has copied:

I hate being responsible for my own meals because I’ll either spoil myself or starve for most of the day.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has downloaded:

I don’t always cook dinner but when I do, I use every pan in the kitchen.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has bookmarked:

I like winter because I fundamentally understand I deserve to suffer.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has copied:

Sometimes I want to go back in time and punch myself in the face.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has shared:

This time last night, there was a spider so big in my bathroom it put me under a glass on a postcard and carried me out.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has bookmarked:

I’ve faced more peer pressure to watch certain TV shows than to do drugs.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has downloaded:

It’s beginning to cost a lot like Christmas.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has copied:

She didn’t leave you on read, bro. You left her on speechless.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has shared:

You come from dust and you will return to dust. That’s why I don’t dust. It could be someone I know.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

783 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,945

Funny Quotes Topics

13,916

Funny Quotes Images

10,945

Updated

41 minutes ago

Users Online

3,429

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Telegram:

I’m not being smart, I’m just a skilled trained professional in pointing out the obvious.

Just landed via Pinterest:

If the first thing you do in the morning is checking your emails, you’re starting your day with other people’s problems.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Look, babe, I’m sorry. If your fake British accent keeps being this geographically inconsistent, I’m going to have to cancel the medieval roleplay sex.

Breaking via Snapchat:

Your call is really important to us but first enjoy this clarinet number for the next seventy five minutes.

Reported on X:

They give smokers all those breaks to make up for the time taken off their lifespan.

Breaking via WeChat:

Is Craigslist still around, or did everyone over there get murdered?

Just shared via LinkedIn:

I love when I get an email from a brand saying “we miss you!” with no coupon attached. Babe, a lot of people miss me, let’s be competitive here.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

My patience is like a gift card, not sure how much is left but lets give it a try.

Making waves on WeChat:

“Are you dating anyone?” I close my eyes when I walk past mirrors.

Trending via Discord:

The problem with self-checkout is that all the cashiers are idiots.

Home » Funny Take The Fifth Quotes

Funny take the fifth quotes

New funny take the fifth quotes 👇

6 months ago
Share →: Technically, the Friday after July 4 isn’t a holiday. But I think we all know that Americans have a constitutional right to take the fifth.

Commentary:
"Technically, it's not a holiday… but in the land of the free and the home of the brave, we have a right to take the fifth (of July)! 🇺🇸🎆 #IndependenceDayExtened #FreedomFriday"

For even more funny take the fifth quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny take the fifth quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇸 has downloaded:

Some stupid little amoeba decided to leave the ocean a billion years ago and now I have to worry about Monday.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has downloaded:

The healthy food in my fridge should be grateful really. It survives much longer than everything else.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has viewed:

A Tinder type app, but it matches you with sandwiches.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has viewed:

If a zombie and vampire bite each other, who turns who?

Someone from 🇹🇼 has bookmarked:

Saw an article on “100 things to do before you die.” Was surprised Call 911 didn’t make the list.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has shared:

If you find my upper lip mole sexy, wait till you see the dark spot on my MRI.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has viewed:

Getting drunk was invented by Big Text to make you send more texts.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has downloaded:

Shout out to Yamaha for being like, “Here’s a cool motorcycle. Also, here’s a cool piano.”

Someone from 🇬🇪 has copied:

If you don’t have at least one white friend named “Matt”, then you are Matt.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has downloaded:

When I like a woman, I start to gather gifts for her like a squirrel hoarding nuts.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Snapchat:

I really love how squirrels get extra chubby heading into winter mostly because it’s super relatable.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Kid, I have jeans older than you.

Reported on Instagram:

Two sheep walk into a baaaaa.

Making waves on Messenger:

Some people can’t sleep because they have insomnia. I can’t sleep because I have Internet.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Lie during your job interview because they’re lying to you about their great work environment.

Just shared via Snapchat:

My anti-theft device in my car is that it’s manual.

Seen just now on Slack:

People don’t realize how hard you ride for them until you park.

Just shared via Facebook:

The best part of the relationship is before you meet them, and you’re single.

Just landed via WeChat:

Remember: when a band skips your city on tour, it is always personal and they always hate you specifically.

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Funny take the fifth quotes

New funny take the fifth quotes 👇

For even more funny take the fifth quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny take the fifth quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

How long past date can I eat eggs? Like are they still good or am I naming them now?

I’ve just filed a restraining order against reality.

It’s time to stare blankly at my wall for hours straight and think about where I went wrong with my life.

“Left alone” would have been the right answer as a child to the question of what I wanted to be when I grew up.

I am a friend to all cats. Yes, even the mean ones. They have their reasons.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Good morning, may your coffee be strong and your boss not weird today.

Yes officer, I’d like to file a restraining order against my dentist’s appointment reminder system.

I used to be cool and now I say things like “It’s so loud in here, I can’t hear myself think”.

My favorite pirate song is “Aye of the Tiger”

When people give me directions and they’re like “you can’t miss it,” I’m like, “Oh, you do not know what I’m capable of.”

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Why can’t men admit when they doze off? What’s wrong with them?

The worst thing you can do when cleaning your house is “sit down for a minute.”

Employees should have to take their boss’s last name.

My goal for next month is small, simple, and clear: change my whole entire life.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

To whoever stole my oversized clock, you owe me big time.

Winter. You get up, drink coffee and then it gets dark.

Most people who have found themselves are amazed to discover that there is nothing there at all.

A really good magician could be living in your house and you would never know.

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