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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇿 has viewed:

Don’t give up on your dreams. Go back to bed.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has downloaded:

Peak delusion is believing that a paragraph will make someone treat you better.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has viewed:

Apparently, telling your friends not to stress about their wedding because “it’s your first marriage” is not the right thing to say.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has viewed:

People will be like “there is no right or wrong way to do it” until you do it the wrong way.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has downloaded:

“What’s wrong with you?” Right now or in general?

Someone from 🇪🇪 has bookmarked:

Not having a crush is dangerous. What am I supposed to think about? What if I invent something?

Someone from 🇱🇺 has bookmarked:

Men need women, women need men. The end.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has shared:

On the internet it’s super easy to take credit for stuff you had nothing to do with. That’s why I invented it.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has downloaded:

My bed is from Ikea, so it’s more unstable than i am.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has shared:

Tidying up usually ends up with you sitting somewhere and playing around with things you found while tidying up.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

801 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,963

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,963

Updated

15 minutes ago

Users Online

3,425

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Messenger:

I stopped experimenting in bed after the great honey disaster of 2015.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

If sex was strictly meant for procreation, why did God make it feel so good?

Freshly posted on Threads:

I used to work at McDonald’s and we only told ugly people that the ice cream machine was broken. So I have bad news if you were ever denied ice cream.

Spotted on Messenger:

I’m begging for a day to be added in between Saturday and Sunday.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Feeling melancholy. Think I’ll have a drink and make things much worse.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

The theory that two stacked beds can’t be converted into two regular beds has been debunked.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Experts say you can make any statement sound more credible by adding ‘experts say’ at the beginning.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

Camping? No, thank you. If I wanted to sleep outside, I wouldn’t pay my mortgage.

Trending via Slack:

If I was pregnant and people asked when I was due, I would say “What do you mean?”

Trending via LinkedIn:

I would never put up a lost dog poster. I’m not letting the whole neighborhood know I fumbled.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media need people procrastination relationship sarcasm social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

801 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,963

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,963

Updated

15 minutes ago

Users Online

3,435

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇶 has shared:

A 12 step program but it’s just me getting off the couch.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has shared:

I appreciate the sun for always moving in the sky in a predictable way but I also respect the moon for just kind of doing whatever.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has downloaded:

Don’t tell me about your wild weekend. My TV remote died and I switched the batteries around, and now it’s working.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has viewed:

German couples probably have less arguments because there’s an exact word for, “I’m fine, just annoyed you forgot the milk again”.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has downloaded:

Not to brag but I always pick the slowest moving checkout line at the grocery store.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has viewed:

Ever thought about centaurs and how the bottom half would start walking immediately after birth but the top part would be baby-like and flop around for a while.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has bookmarked:

Twitter is for people who tried suffering in silence and realized it wasn’t for them.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has viewed:

Giving all the dogs in my neighborhood matching sweaters for Christmas so they can be in a gang.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has downloaded:

Today is one of those days that even my coffee needs a coffee.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has bookmarked:

There are a 100 billions nerves in the human body, and there are people who have the ability to irritate all of them.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Messenger:

I don’t understand how I can remember every word of a song from 1984, but I can’t remember why I walked into the kitchen.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

If you inject Botox into a raisin, does it turn back into a grape?

Going viral on Messenger:

If you take a social media sabbatical, don’t announce it. Just make your last post something fun like “I wonder if there’s a bear in this cave?”

Going viral on WhatsApp:

Show me in the employee handbook where it says I can’t make weird noises in my cubicle.

Going viral on Threads:

I really think tossing and turning at night should be counted as exercise.

Reported on TikTok:

Why can’t I explore the dentist’s mouth too?

Just landed via YouTube:

I hate how everything is organic now. I miss chemicals.

Making waves on Snapchat:

A good hack to make my house look clean and tidy in the evening is to turn all the lights off.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Oftentimes, I like the idea of an activity. The actual doing of said activity, not so much.

Freshly posted on X:

Leave me alone, man. I’m just living my life like a candle in the wind.

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