Wordgag ツ

4 months ago
Share →: Sometimes I can’t tell if I’m in preschool or school… Oh wait, I’m at work.

Commentary:
"Ah, the eternal struggle of adulting – navigating between the realms of life and the playground! 🎨📚 Don't worry, you're not the only one wondering where the nap time and snack breaks went! 😅 #WorkorPlayground"
4 months ago
Share →: I can now tell the hour of the day by which part of my body needs a heating pad.

Commentary:
"Who needs a clock when you have your own internal heating pad schedule 🕒🔥 Sounds like your body is setting – and heating – the time! ⏰😂"
4 months ago
Share →: Sometimes I tell myself I should stop drinking so much, but I’m not about to listen to a drunk who’s talking to himself.

Commentary:
"When your inner drunk advisor gives you advice, you know it's time to pour another drink 🥃🤔 #CheersToQuestionableWisdom"
4 months ago
Share →: I tell people I rearrange my furniture to change things up, but we all know it’s to annoy my husband.

Commentary:
"Who needs feng shui when you have a husband to keep on his toes? 💁‍♀️🪑 #MarriagePrankster"
4 months ago
Share →: Please don’t tell me how bad your life was growing up, we had to manually roll up our car windows.

Commentary:
"Ah, the struggle of the pre-power windows era – a common battle cry of 'back in my day' warriors. But hey, at least it built some serious forearm strength while giving the fingertips a workout! Don't ya just feel the nostalgia creeping in?"
4 months ago
Share →: I don’t need a fancy watch to tell me I’m not fit one bit.

Commentary:
Who needs a fancy watch to track their fitness level when a quick glance in the mirror after climbing a flight of stairs gives you all the confirmation you need!
4 months ago
Share →: I named my dog “5 Miles,” so I can tell people I walk 5 miles every day.

Commentary:
"Who needs a fitness tracker when you have a cleverly named dog like '5 Miles'? It's the perfect excuse to skip the gym and just let your furry friend do all the work. Just remember to keep up the facade when someone asks about your workout routine!"
5 months ago
Share →: Date idea: you hold my hand while I call the dentist and you tell me I’m so brave.

Commentary:
🦷💪🏼 How about a thrilling date idea? Picture this – you bravely hold hands with your partner as they conquer the ultimate feat of dialing the dreaded dentist's number. 📞🙀 Oh, the adrenaline! 😂 #RomanticAndCourageous #RelationshipGoals
5 months ago
Share →: Don’t forget to tell yourself more lies today.

Commentary:
"Reminder: Positive self-talk includes a healthy dose of delusion 😄🤥 Embrace those self-affirming fibs with gusto! Just don't believe them too much! 😉 #selfdeceptiongoals"
5 months ago
Share →: If I ever win the lottery and decide to invest in a billboard company, I won’t tell anyone; but there will be signs.

Commentary:
🤣💸 "If I hit the jackpot and go into the billboard business, it'll be the best-kept secret… but the signs will spill the beans! Talk about a silent yet loud financial flex! 💰🔥 #MoneyTalks #BillboardWhisperer" 🏆