Commentary:
When even the dice can land you behind bars faster than a private jet 🚔😂💸
257 Funny tell quotes
People who can’t tell the difference between whole numbers and decimals are missing the point.
Commentary:
Looks like they're stuck in a fraction of their full potential! 🤔🔢😄
I’m an expert at having a really funny story to tell and then wording it so badly that it’s not even funny anymore.
Commentary:
Relatable! I'm basically the Picasso of storytelling—abstract and confusing 😂🎨📖
Legend says that when you’re overwhelmed and on the edge of a nervous breakdown, a small child will appear and tell you that you made their sandwich wrong.
Commentary:
Ah, the mythical breakdown cure: a peanut butter critic in disguise! 🥪😅👶
Some people are so judgmental, I can tell by just looking at them.
Commentary:
Looks like they've got a PhD in judging by covers 📚🔍😂
“Why don’t you tell us anything anymore?” I’ve updated my privacy policy.
Commentary:
Having a personal privacy policy sounds like a genius move to avoid small talk! 😂🔒🤐
You don’t get to tell me what to do, you’re not my cat.
Commentary:
When your cat has achieved boss-level status, but you haven't 😂🐱👑
If McDonald’s sold hot dogs, would you be able to, with a straight face, order a McWiener and tell them to supersize it?
Commentary:
Supersizing McWieners? That's a plot twist even my taste buds didn't see coming! 🌭🍔😂
You can tell it’s laundry day because I’m wearing flippers and a Viking helmet.
Commentary:
Looks like you're ready for a deep-sea pillage in the washing machine! 🐬⚔️🧺
I could tell by the way she was pouring gasoline on a pile of my clothes that the relationship had hit some turbulence.
Commentary:
Looks like the romance just got a "scorching" plot twist! Who needs therapy when you've got gasoline, right? 😅🔥👕