455 funny think quotes - Page 5 - Wordgag

Do you ever think about how many people squeezed the avocado that you’re eating?

May 26, 2026

“I hate small talk!” Oh okay. Do you think all your grandparents are going to heaven?

May 26, 2026

I installed a bike rack on my car so my neighbors think I do something else besides drink.

May 26, 2026

I think we all need to go out into an empty field and just scream for about an hour.

May 26, 2026

A lot of people think you need a lot of money to buy clothes. And they’re right.

May 26, 2026

I think it’s time we acknowledged how incredibly stupid most super wealthy people are.

May 26, 2026

Pasta is something I don’t think I’ll ever get tired of.

May 26, 2026

I think the world is ready for a fat James Bond.

May 26, 2026

Unfortunately, I don’t think before I speak, so l am just a shocked as you are.

May 26, 2026

I think, therefore I am. I am, therefore I think. Therefore I am. I think.

May 26, 2026

Ending my thesis paper with “but who cares what I think?”

May 26, 2026

I think Bigfoot had it right, stay in hiding from all the shitty human beings.

May 26, 2026

I used to be cool and now I say things like “It’s so loud in here, I can’t hear myself think”.

May 26, 2026

I don’t think astronauts should be allowed to come back. You made your choice.

May 26, 2026

If the interviewer doesn’t think it’s cool when you pull a quarter out of his ear, the job wasn’t good enough for you anyways.

May 26, 2026

I’m sorry, but when you call me ‘batshit crazy’ it’s almost starting to sound like you think it’s a bad thing!

May 26, 2026

How many calories does an audible sigh burn? Because I don’t think my Apple Watch is giving me credit for them.

May 26, 2026

I worry a lot about the wild animals in my neighborhood, but I’m beginning to think they don’t worry about me.

May 26, 2026

Instead of cleaning my house, I just watch episodes of hoarders on TV and then I think “Wow, my house looks awesome!”

May 25, 2026

I think my soulmate might be carbs.

May 25, 2026

I think I’m emotionally constipated because I haven’t given a shit in months.

May 25, 2026

All our dogs think we quit our jobs to spend more time with them. All our cats think we got fired for being lazy.

May 25, 2026

I can’t believe I used to think I was stressed in high school.

May 25, 2026

Most people think that T-Rexes can’t clap because they have short arms, but really it’s because they are dead.

May 25, 2026

Oops, I think I’ve had a little too much to think.

May 25, 2026

I don’t think human beings were built to know everything going on in the world all the time.

May 25, 2026

After careful consideration, I think I’d have way more fun if I was incredibly stupid.

May 25, 2026

That made me feel good. I think I’ll become addicted.

May 25, 2026

I think I’ll spend my savings on a lifetime supply of pasta. Worth every penne.

May 25, 2026

I think we all know who to blame for the generation of parents who put too many Ys in their kids’ names. Lynyrd Skynyrd.

May 25, 2026

From now on, every time I think I’m hating too much, I will think of Kendrick and realize I’m not hating to my full potential.

May 25, 2026

I think if you ask Kanye for a million at the right time, he’ll give it to you.

May 25, 2026

Why do people think it’s ok to ask why a person is single? I don’t ask why you’re unhappily married.

May 25, 2026

My least controversial opinion is that IKEA should have a bar. I think we were meant to consume three beers and then purchase a Gjörfbunkle.

May 25, 2026

I probably think this song is about me.

May 25, 2026

He probably could have just called himself “Andre.” I think I would have figured out The Giant part on my own.

May 25, 2026

People who lie all the time really think that we don’t know.

May 25, 2026

What is that job called where you put the little stickers on fruit? I think I would be good at that.

May 25, 2026

It’s cold and dark outside, made me think of you.

May 25, 2026

It’s amazing to think that a Penguin wrote all of those classic books.

May 25, 2026