455 funny think quotes - Page 4 - Wordgag

Do crabs underwater think that fishes fly?

May 27, 2026

I think Australians should have to go three rounds in the ring with a kangaroo before they eat him.

May 27, 2026

Sometimes somebody will share something from way back in my timeline, and I’ll think, “Oh God, what all did they see to get there?”

May 27, 2026May 27, 2026

I’m feeling very anxious. I think this 7th mug of coffee will take the edge off.

May 27, 2026

Growing up, I didn’t think the expensive addiction that would ruin me would be Heinz ketchup, but here we are.

May 27, 2026

I think the key to happiness is having plenty of money and then telling all the poor people that money can’t buy happiness.

May 27, 2026

Don’t think my brain is braining properly today.

May 27, 2026May 27, 2026

Do beavers even know what they’re doing, or do they just see water flowing down a river and think, “Absolutely not”?

May 27, 2026

I think the real reason this generation is so angry is that their music sucks.

May 27, 2026

Sometimes I read a text and think, “What a psycho.” And then I press send.

May 27, 2026

Do regular dogs see police dogs and think, “Oh no, it’s a cop”?

May 27, 2026

Call me dramatic, but I think I deserve a love confession in the rain.

May 27, 2026

My coworkers think I’m always busy, but I’m really just trying to remember my password.

May 27, 2026

“Who does she think she is?” Well, it appears she is someone living her life unconcerned with who you think she is.

May 27, 2026

I think God’s next test for me should be, “Can he handle a ridiculous amount of money.”

May 27, 2026

I don’t think I’ve ever made the right amount of pasta.

May 27, 2026

I don’t usually think about what I say before I say it. I prefer to think about it after I’ve said it, late at night, for the rest of my life.

May 27, 2026

Starting to think I’m single because of everyone else’s shortcomings.

May 27, 2026

I can’t think of a single email that has ever found me well.

May 27, 2026

For someone who loves to sleep so much, you’d think I’d go to bed earlier.

May 27, 2026

Hey, boy, are you the worst-case scenario? Because you’re all I think about.

May 27, 2026

I hate it when I’m outside, and an insect lands and crawls on my glasses, and for a split second, I think aliens have invaded.

May 26, 2026

No, I didn’t eat enough protein today, but I did think of you with enough intensity to generate new muscle tissue in my heart.

May 26, 2026

You think you’ve seen gold diggers, until you see a male friend group where only one of them made it.

May 26, 2026

He called me delusional, but I think he meant delicious.

May 26, 2026

I’m no expert, but I don’t think the United Kingdom is very united.

May 26, 2026

Sorry, but I don’t think we should see each other anymore. Your Katana skills are lacking.

May 26, 2026

I woke up, got out of bed, and had coffee. I think that’s enough for one day.

May 26, 2026

I think some outfits just aren’t meant to be worn unless you’re getting straight into a car.

May 26, 2026

Next time you think I am flirting with you, ask yourself if kindness is so rare in your life that you mistake it for desire.

May 26, 2026

I think you are suffering from a lack of vitamin ME.

May 26, 2026

My only plan for this weekend is to move just enough so the people don’t think I’m dead.

May 26, 2026

I think something is so beautifully wrong with you.

May 26, 2026

They should invent a day where I don’t think.

May 26, 2026

Men used to build castles for women they love, but now they think replying on time is too much effort.

May 26, 2026

It’s freaking me out to think of how bad I’d look at the Met Gala.

May 26, 2026

That awkward moment when you leave a store without buying anything, and all you can think is: “Act normal, you are innocent.”

May 26, 2026

I don’t think anything good will ever happen again until people feel bad about being stupid again.

May 26, 2026

If you wave your keys in front of a giant house, people will think you own it.

May 26, 2026

The smarter you are, the more important it is for you to figure out how to think less.

May 26, 2026