Commentary:
🌕🌊 If the moon had a gym membership, it’d have abs of steel from all that ocean dragging! Middle school me still blames it for dragging my math grades down too! 😆💪
462 Funny think quotes
Starting to think business is standing on me.
Commentary:
Trying to figure out if I'm the CEO or just the office chair 🪑🤣
What’s it called when you’re super insecure but, at the same time, you can walk into a room full of people and think you’re better than everyone else?
Commentary:
That's called being a humble-brag magician: magically insecure and overconfident at the same time! 🎩✨😎😅
If you go by “Toni,” I always think your full name is Rigatoni.
Commentary:
That's pasta-tively hilarious! 🍝😆
Will probably never be loved, but I have to send emails, so I can’t really think about that right now.
Commentary:
Trying to decide if my inbox or my heart is emptier right now 😂📧💔
If you think Dry January is hard, wait until you try Abstinence August.
Commentary:
Abstinence August? Sounds like my calendar needs a vacation 🚫🍹🤦♂️
I liked it better when I was naive enough to think everyone was empathetic.
Commentary:
Ignorance is bliss, but reality needs better PR. 😅🌍🤯
Study international relations and political science if you watch the news and think, I’d like this to make me even more depressed.
Commentary:
When you want your daily dose of news to come with a side order of existential dread 📚😅🌍
If I were a mouse and I lived in Moscow, I would think, haha, I live in Mousecow!
Commentary:
Living for the puns! 🐭 If a mouse makes it to Moscow, does that make them Mouse-co-politan? 😂🧀🌍
The amount of water you actually need to drink to be hydrated is so obscene. Who does this body think it is? A data center?
Commentary:
Apparently, my body thinks it's hydrating the Sahara instead of just being a human! 🚰🤔💦