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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇬 has shared:

The wind is about to blow me to Oz, so if you see me flying past your window, mind your business.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has downloaded:

Dear food, either stop being so delicious or stop making me fat.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has downloaded:

My problem with Christmas shopping is that I keep seeing things that I like… for me.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has copied:

I generally don’t know what the hell I’m doing, but I’m really good at it.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has copied:

The best way to describe this year is to say it feels like a year of Mondays.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has copied:

“You look tired!” Bro, I want to stop existing.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has bookmarked:

A police lineup, but you have to recognize your dad’s sneeze.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has downloaded:

My boss denied me a raise before my shift today. What’s some music you have never wanted to hear in a coffee shop?

Someone from 🇧🇮 has downloaded:

It was a complicated 17-hour surgery, but they finally managed to separate the art from the artist.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has bookmarked:

Drunk me promising you anything is the equivalent of a politician giving their manifesto … it’s not gonna happen.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

241 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,510

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,510

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,453

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on WeChat:

Unless I ask, I genuinely don’t care to hear other people’s opinions on my life. It’s almost a pet peeve, really.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

I replaced my old flat pillow that hurt my neck with a new fat fluffy pillow that hurts my neck.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

The fake cough I use when calling in sick is now available on iTunes.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Nobody says, ‘Bless you,’ when you fart.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Maybe the reason you haven’t found your soulmate is because you don’t have a soul.

Seen just now on X:

I’m that person who will restart a song because I got distracted and wasn’t appreciating it enough.

Broadcasted on X:

Girl, if the moon can block the sun, then you can definitely block your ex.

Live now on Twitch:

Is ChatGPT down for anyone else? I’m a cardiac surgeon in the middle of heart surgery.

Just shared via X:

Summer: 10 minutes outside, 10 hours in front of the AC.

Just shared via Threads:

I don’t understand the phrase “You can’t have your cake and eat it” because if I have cake, what the hell else am I supposed to do with it.

Funny toe dip quotes

New funny toe dip quotes 👇

Have been dipping my toe into doing Pilates, and let me tell you, women are real sickos.

0

2 months ago

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Someone from 🇧🇳 has recently shared this quote.

53 shares on Instagram this month.

All funny toe dip quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

32 shares on Reddit this month:

I don’t know much, but I know this: the older you get, the faster the number of things you’re willing to wait in line for approaches zero.

73 shares on TikTok this month:

Your first non-broke girlfriend will change your whole perspective about relationships.

59 shares on Instagram this month:

Any time I have ever uttered the phrase “no worries” I have been lying. There are many worries.

24 shares on Snapchat this month:

I’m going to be real pissed if I get my shit together and the world ends.

100 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Three drinks in and that skateboard outside is looking rideable.

33 shares on WeChat this month:

You know that moment when you get up in the morning, you’re full of energy and you can’t wait to get to work? Me neither!

14 shares on Slack this month:

I’m going back to the 90s, if anyone wants to come.

88 shares on Messenger this month:

Tweeting with no audience feels like screaming jokes into a cornfield.

77 shares on Twitch this month:

So much anger in this small little body. I feel like a chihuahua.

87 shares on YouTube this month:

That “meeting canceled” ping is a gift from the Gods.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇿 has shared:

The police sent me a photo radar ticket so I sent them a photo of a hundred dollars, so I guess we’re even.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has shared:

If I had a bf, I’d be a gf.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has shared:

I was at a funeral yesterday and spiced things up by walking over to complete strangers and saying “Ignore what everyone else thinks. I, personally, have no issue with you being here”.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has shared:

Men be like, “I’m sexually attracted to you as a friend.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has copied:

I’m bored, but not “read a book for fun” bored.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has bookmarked:

Schedule your appointment early in the month before your dentist starts fretting about their next boat payment.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has bookmarked:

Are you gonna call me beautiful today, or do I need to go to the gas station?

Someone from 🇮🇸 has shared:

In medieval Europe, it was pretty easy to amass vast armies eager to go into battle and have their heads chopped off because no one wanted to be alive in medieval Europe.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has shared:

I love my bodyguard. I would take a bullet for him.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has shared:

Don’t throw hate at me, throw money!

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Threads:

I had a Russian Uber driver the other day. His name was Pikup Andropov.

Shared recently on YouTube:

There are people that make their bed every morning and people who think it’s a waste of time, and then they marry each other.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

At the end of my appointment, the doctor took her own blood pressure.

Spotted on Reddit:

Career anxiety hitting at random hours of the day.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

Beds are always the coziest when it’s time to get up and you don’t want to.

Spotted on Twitch:

People who wear jeans for fun around their house have bodies buried in their backyard.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Banana boats are powered by bananas. Everyone knows this.

Trending via Threads:

You can recognize working-class kids by the fact that they hang their jacket over the chair in the restaurant and not on the coat hook.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Relationship status: I’m the only one wearing my hoodies.

Just landed via WeChat:

Cheers to all who skipped that one dish at Thanksgiving because you just didn’t trust the person who brought it.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Funny toe dip quotes

New funny toe dip quotes 👇

Have been dipping my toe into doing Pilates, and let me tell you, women are real sickos.

All funny toe dip quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨