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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇷 has downloaded:

People always ask me “Do you believe in God?” and I say of course it’s important to have self-belief.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has shared:

I am a man, a man with a cold, so I guess this is goodbye.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has downloaded:

Nothing says entitlement like a goose family crossing the road.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has copied:

Much like lasagna, I’m just held together by cheese at this point.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has viewed:

A toddler in their “why” phase makes you realize how little you know.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has bookmarked:

At what point in not being able to sleep do I throw the towel in and have a beer, since maybe that will help?

Someone from 🇱🇸 has downloaded:

Coffee is just goth water.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has shared:

People on diet aren’t mad at you. They’re mad at their lunch.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has copied:

I could easily win an Oscar, I just have other things going on right now.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has copied:

Shouldn’t it have been called the ‘not answering machine’?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1881 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,043

Funny Quotes Topics

14,827

Funny Quotes Images

12,043

Updated

1 minute ago

Users Online

3,431

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Twitch:

I’m busy watching the vegan couple next door arguing about the Big Mac wrapper I hid in their trash can.

Just landed via Threads:

If you watch soccer backwards, it’s about 11 sad and 11 happy men who nag each other until they get along eventually.

Reported on Telegram:

If you feel depressed, go for a run. You will soon find out your physical health is far worse than your mental health.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

“It’s swimsuit season” I say, eating another swimsuit.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Today I ate vegetable lasagna… I don’t want to talk about it.

Just shared via Pinterest:

My mind is like my web browser. 19 tabs are open, 3 are frozen and I have no idea where the music is coming from.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Perhaps the most universal American experience is your mom being like, “Wasn’t he such a good dentist? He’s in prison now.”

Going viral on Telegram:

The sandwich I made for lunch didn’t even make it until 10am.

Freshly posted on Discord:

I’m afraid to go to therapy — what if they fix me and I lose my funny?

Going viral on Reddit:

This is my phone. I text back when I want to.

Home » Funny Turn-taking Quotes

Funny turn-taking quotes

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1881 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,043

Funny Quotes Topics

14,827

Funny Quotes Images

12,043

Updated

1 minute ago

Users Online

3,456

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇸 has shared:

Airports should have tattoo parlors for those of us with long layovers and poor impulse control.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has shared:

That urge to nap between 3pm – 5pm is no joke.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has copied:

I think it’s time when we buy new clothes that we have the option to buy the body they’re being modelled in too.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has bookmarked:

When life gives you lemons, take the lemons. They were a gift. Maybe life thought you liked lemons. Did you think about that? No, you’re always thinking about yourself.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has copied:

Dear Snapchat memory, that’s not my friend anymore.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has copied:

Every house has a smell that only the people living in it don’t smell.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has viewed:

Babe, are you okay? You’ve barely touched your unread books.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has copied:

‘I have a ripe avocado at home’ is my favorite excuse for cancelling plans.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has shared:

You don’t know your own leg strength until you’re kicking the end of a hotel tucked bed sheet.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has shared:

You don’t get much engagement? Have you tried being retarded.

Social Media Log 💫

Reported on Snapchat:

I’ve found God. It’s my turn to hide now.

Just landed via YouTube:

I might look calm, but in my head I’ve punched you in the face three times.

Breaking via YouTube:

Weird. I’m the only one naked at this gender reveal party.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Twitter when Franz Ferdinand got shot would have been the best day ever.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

You can either have a nice evening or you can help your child with their math homework. You can’t have both.

Freshly posted on Discord:

I’m running out of people I like.

Reported on WeChat:

All the leaves are brown. And this guy is Greg.

Breaking via WeChat:

People in my real life annoy me, so I come online to annoy you.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

Show me another rule so I can break that one too.

Trending via WhatsApp:

It’s been my experience that people seem a lot nicer before we get married.

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