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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇷 has shared:

My neighbor won’t stop talking about his Rolex and I can’t believe someone stole it tomorrow.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has copied:

That period between finding out you got a new job and actually starting the new job is one of the best times in life.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has bookmarked:

Can we not just call it Zealand now?

Someone from 🇵🇦 has bookmarked:

Why insult someone when you can say something nice in a very sarcastic tone?

Someone from 🇩🇿 has viewed:

You’re not a real baddie until a man has tried to forbid you from posting on social media.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has copied:

Best tips for saving money: lay down and don’t move.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has viewed:

Most of my exercise comes from getting up to let the cat in and out.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has viewed:

The perfect number of cats is two stupid cats. Preferably siblings. But they can’t both be the same type of stupid. One needs to be stupid (dumb) and one needs to be stupid (annoying).

Someone from 🇨🇷 has shared:

Nothing hits harder than opening the fridge for the fifth time, hoping new food magically appeared.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has shared:

Responding to all selfies with “this should work.”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,567

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Threads:

I’d be a horrible stalker… I’m always late.

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

I came, I saw, I was disappointed, so I left.

Live now on Snapchat:

I don’t want to alarm anyone, but there’s only 365 shopping days left until Christmas.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Of course I stay hydrated. Carbohydrated.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Whenever Im in trouble, I think, what would Jesus do? Then I pretend to be dead and disappear for 3 days.

Just shared via Facebook:

Not sure why I drink anymore. I get the same effect from standing up too fast.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

You cannot go outside for a year or two. Come back, and the same people still be outside in the same places.

Live now on Slack:

Waiting patiently for something good to happen, like that goat in Jurassic Park.

Breaking via Instagram:

There’s a famous ancient Chinese proverb, but it’s written in Chinese so I have no idea what it says.

Going viral on YouTube:

Having Christmas off in the middle of the work week and then forcing us to go back to work the next day feels so illegal.

Funny vape shop quotes

New funny vape shop quotes 👇

All funny vape shop quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

63 shares on TikTok this month:

If you ever feel useless, remember that there are bathrooms at pools.

23 shares on TikTok this month:

My cat just sneezed a bunch of times in a row and then hissed at himself. What an icon!

38 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I was going to cause mischief tonight, but I climbed into my bed instead.

48 shares on Discord this month:

Before marriage, I would sit at a stoplight for hours because I had no one to tell me the light had changed to green.

74 shares on Discord this month:

Some women seated next to me are gossiping in French. They obviously think I’m some dumb American who doesn’t speak French and they are correct.

75 shares on Facebook this month:

I always cook with wine. Sometimes I even add it to the food.

82 shares on Twitch this month:

Text her when the moon looks pretty.

20 shares on Telegram this month:

In my 20’s: I want to find true love. In my 40’s: I just want a toaster that gets me.

50 shares on Snapchat this month:

All my life lessons were learned by watching people who took my advice.

35 shares on Snapchat this month:

A storm knows it’s laced with destruction, and yet it rages on.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Fries, not lies.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I think probably the reason some people look better at 30 than at 20 is because they’re wealthier.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

The difference between a biography and an autobiography is self-explanatory.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

There’s no-one who can get more drunk on power than the admin of a village Facebook group.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

The real challenge of adulthood is figuring out what to eat every day.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t want to stand, Apple Watch. You stand.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Seems like the mosquitoes swiped right on me.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

They should invent a DoorDash but for a kiss goodnight and getting tucked in.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I would like to thank my arms for always being by my side. My legs for always supporting me. And my fingers because I can always count on them.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Sometimes I say “huh,” then answer the question before you can repeat your question.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,749

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇱 has viewed:

Once you understand why pizza is made round, packed in square boxes, and eaten as a triangle, then you will understand women.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has viewed:

I’m currently trying not to read anything about carbohydrates after 4pm.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has viewed:

They should invent a rest for the wicked.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has viewed:

I trust an insult more than I do a compliment.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has shared:

Putting my Christmas tree up today. Big day for my cats.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has shared:

You know it’s been a successful Thanksgiving when your clothes no longer fit.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has bookmarked:

Sorry to interrupt your scrolling, but I hope life gets better for you.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has bookmarked:

I hate it when I check my transactions history, and everything adds up like damn, so no one stole from me.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has copied:

I nearly broke my toe because the coffee table didn’t look where it was going.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has downloaded:

Everything happens for a reason. Sometimes the reason is you’re stupid and you make bad decisions.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Pinterest:

Double chins are better than double faces.

Breaking via WeChat:

People will make you sad but cheese will always make you happy. The choice is simple.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

Sorry boys, but I’ve already got my eyes on a guy who’s not interested.

Going viral on Twitch:

Maybe this is the Windows software update that changes everything for me.

Spotted on Messenger:

Maybe one day a street will be named after me. Or a school. Or a mental hospital.

Breaking via WeChat:

Wow, this person is full of shit. Oh, I’m on my own page.

Trending via Discord:

Not only is Santa not real, there are also no horny singles in your area wanting to meet you.

Trending via Telegram:

Two words have helped me open a lot of doors in my life. Push and Pull.

Live now on Reddit:

The best way to describe this year is to say it feels like a year of Mondays.

Trending via Messenger:

I’ve surpassed the need for coffee, for I have evolved into a higher state of awesome.

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