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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇬 has downloaded:

I like to listen to the national anthems during the award ceremonies. I’m into country music.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has bookmarked:

Damn, all this overthinking and I still be making dumb decisions.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has shared:

Twitter is fun because you can tweet about hashbrowns and someone will say you are responsible for genocide.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has shared:

I’m bad at being sad. Three mins later, I’m making jokes about my situation.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has shared:

Anyone who thinks being a pessimist isn’t any fun fails to appreciate the joy of saying, ‘I told you so.’

Someone from 🇲🇭 has shared:

The end of Twitter is taking forever. Did Tolkien write this?

Someone from 🇻🇺 has bookmarked:

I’ve mastered farting, and it be loud and quick, but the key is don’t make a face or look around, so people can’t pinpoint it to you. Just act natural.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has copied:

People who are on Twitter and put intelligent in their bio, good one.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has shared:

I set up a Nativity scene, but since baby Jesus hasn’t arrived yet, all the Wise Men are just looking down at their phones.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has bookmarked:

People who scream sneeze need their own island.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1837 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,999

Funny Quotes Topics

14,798

Funny Quotes Images

11,999

Updated

5 minutes ago

Users Online

3,429

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on TikTok:

The way I forget stuff at my age, I just know it is over for me after 50.

Trending via Pinterest:

I bet the inventor of the cannon would be relieved to know that they’re mostly about t-shirts now.

Seen just now on YouTube:

I can still drop it like it’s hot. It’s just a lot harder to pick it back up.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

By the time I meet the right person, I’ll probably be the wrong person.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Being the forward-thinking person I am, I kept my winter fat through the summer.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

“I’m not afraid to admit when I’m wrong. For example, I thought it was a good idea to leave the house today, which, as it turns out, was a terrible mistake.”

Seen just now on X:

Cats have 32 muscles in each ear, to help them ignore you.

Breaking via Instagram:

I have had songs stuck in my head and I have had people stuck in my head, I highly recommend songs.

Shared recently on TikTok:

I’ve been doing a lot of thinking recently, and I’ve decided that I really don’t want to do that any more.

Just shared via Pinterest:

I have a lot in common with AI. We occasionally provide incorrect information with a confident tone.

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Funny well-functioning quotes

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1837 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,999

Funny Quotes Topics

14,798

Funny Quotes Images

11,999

Updated

5 minutes ago

Users Online

3,448

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇳 has downloaded:

Pretty sure the inventor of noise-canceling headphones had a young kid trying to learn an instrument.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has bookmarked:

Don’t forget to look directly into the sun for at least 10 minutes per day because that’s where all the vitamins are.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has shared:

I had a hard time coping with the divorce. I’m fine now, but at first I was almost crazy with joy.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has downloaded:

Dear people who talk on speakerphone out in public. Everyone around you hates you.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has viewed:

I was waiting on the universe but the universe was actually waiting on me.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has viewed:

I just sneezed and farted at the same time. I think my body just took a screenshot.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has downloaded:

People who are on Twitter and put intelligent in their bio, good one.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has bookmarked:

My hobbies include sleeping and feeling like I’ve never slept.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has bookmarked:

Love is like a bird. Sometimes flying around me but then moving on.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has copied:

I don’t know about you guys, but when I have to make a decision I analyze the situation, evaluate the risk, take measures to limit the consequences and then I completely screw up.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on WeChat:

Tweeting shouldn’t cost money but it should flip you on your back like a bug for 15 minutes.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

Every time the universe sends me a sign, I’m like, okay, but I think I’ll wait for a signier sign.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

People delete their social media and start acting like they got a master’s degree in maturity.

Making waves on Threads:

Seeking a date so intense even the candles are sweating.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Working out consistently yields results, but mannnnnnn…… the laundry.

Trending via WhatsApp:

If small talk burned calories, maybe I’d consider it.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

What’s wrong with the people who come to visit on Sundays? Don’t they have a couch?

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Me, adding fuel to the fire: I’m just here to help.

Shared recently on YouTube:

The subtle art of surviving this life with grace and dignity.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Yeah, no worries, man. You just showed everyone that you have a lot of resentments bubbling underneath, but otherwise, it was a cool evening.

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