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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇳 has viewed:

Doing my bit for the evolution of the human race by eating lots of carbs and never exercising. We will adapt!

Someone from 🇦🇹 has bookmarked:

Debugging is like being the detective in a crime where you are also the murderer. Following the clues of an idiot.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has downloaded:

Being a goldfish must be brilliant. Every six seconds you’re pleasantly surprised to find that you live in a castle.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has copied:

Coffee ain’t gonna cut it today, I need to be chased through the woods by a machete-wielding maniac.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has copied:

Can’t. Just put my hair in a bun and that’s just about enough exercise for today.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has bookmarked:

Self-awareness is such a two-edged sword. Like, yay, I know myself better, but at what cost?

Someone from 🇫🇯 has shared:

All people make me happy. Some when they come, others when they leave.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has viewed:

Toddlers: I’ve licked everything so everything is mine now.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has shared:

“Pre” means before, and “post” means after. Using both at the same time would be preposterous.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has downloaded:

Three out of five times, my intuition is right. Not in casinos, though.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

769 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,931

Funny Quotes Topics

13,902

Funny Quotes Images

10,931

Updated

29 minutes ago

Users Online

3,423

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Twitch:

Dear God, make me a bird so I can fly. Fly far, far away and also so I can poop on people.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

I think God was high when he made me.

Trending via WhatsApp:

So I used to wonder about people that paid a fortune for those little bottles of Evian water, until I read it backwards.

Spotted on Instagram:

Adulthood is basically just trying to fall asleep at night and stay awake during the day.

Freshly posted on Discord:

It’s been too long since I partook in shenanigans.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

I’d pretend to care about football for you.

Just shared via X:

Roses are red. I’m going to bed.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

Sorry for levitating at the end of your bed all night, I just think you’re really cute.

Just shared via Messenger:

She’s got style. She’s got grace. She dropped her cellphone on her face. She’s a lady.

Just shared via Facebook:

If you need ChatGPT to write an email, maybe you shouldn’t have job.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

769 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,931

Funny Quotes Topics

13,902

Funny Quotes Images

10,931

Updated

29 minutes ago

Users Online

3,432

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇷 has viewed:

Ok, new plan, I’m gonna marry a Kardashian.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has downloaded:

Jesus died for your sins. If you don’t sin then he died for nothing!

Someone from 🇳🇱 has shared:

My wife asked me why the bottle of wine we bought yesterday was half empty. I said because she is a pessimist.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has shared:

I heard a mouse yesterday. So now I loudly announce myself whenever I enter a dark room. In case you’re wondering how brave I am.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has viewed:

That’s not my girl bestie, that’s my platonic wife.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has downloaded:

Every time you give someone the benefit, they deliver the doubt.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has viewed:

I need a six-month vacation twice a year.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has bookmarked:

Please stop adding touchscreens to cars. Most of these idiots can barely drive as it is.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has shared:

Due to foreseen circumstances well within my control I will be late.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has copied:

I had bad luck with women twice. The first left me, the second stayed.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Instagram:

If I were a bird, you’d be the first person I’d shit on.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

I’m starting to think the real hell is just being stuck in an infinite loop of self-doubt and bad life choices.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Don’t worry, guys. Together we can eliminate logic and reason on social media. I see some of you are already ahead of the game. Way to go!

Seen just now on Reddit:

If she says “you are my world” remember there are other planets. Stay alert, kings!

Trending via Telegram:

Theo Von’s entire life is like a raccoon that visits New York City.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

“You’re so quick to cut someone off!” God forbid a girl actually has self-respect.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

The quickest way to get your kid to do their homework is to ask them to help with some chores.

Going viral on Slack:

Can anyone recommend some good behaviors for someone who just started behaving?

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

They portray Pilates like it’s this cute girly thing and it’s actually training for combat.

Breaking via Threads:

I love sleeping in fishnets. Makes you feel like a big honey roast ham.

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