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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇺 has viewed:

Horror movies should add bloopers, so after watching the main film, you’ll be able to sleep.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has downloaded:

You ever been in the middle of a conversation and realized this is why you avoid people?

Someone from 🇳🇷 has downloaded:

My bad habits got renewed for another season.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has bookmarked:

God’s plan for me is super weird so far.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has shared:

Nothing is funnier than seeing how angry someone gets when they realize they can’t manipulate you.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has copied:

Can’t threaten me with screenshots. I’ll get a microphone and say it again.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has bookmarked:

The night terrors don’t scare me half as much as the day terrors.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has shared:

Any room can be a panic room if you just give me a few minutes.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has copied:

The only thing I gained so far this year is weight.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has downloaded:

Santa baby, slip some mental stability under the tree, for me.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,669

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Who needs an alarm clock when you have a bladder.

Shared recently on Reddit:

It was a tough year, but at least I did not buy a Labubu.

Trending via Reddit:

Life is a highway: Too many cars, not enough bathrooms.

Breaking via Facebook:

Not working on myself because I make better content this way.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Sometimes all you need is a Saturday to sleep, eat, and do absolutely nothing else all day.

Just landed via YouTube:

Day 12 without chocolate: Lost all hearing in my left eye.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

Shit posting is cheaper than therapy.

Shared recently on WeChat:

What’s a girl gotta do to feel a dopamine high around here?

Breaking via WeChat:

You should be able to google why a couple broke up.

Broadcasted on Discord:

I started at the bottom and worked my way down.

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Funny Quotes Collections
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Social Media Stars ⭐

37 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I really thought impromptu dance-offs were going to be more common.

74 shares on Slack this month:

The worst part of coming out of a hyperfixation is sobering up and looking at all the merch you bought that you didn’t need.

94 shares on Reddit this month:

I’m tired of things costing money.

56 shares on Discord this month:

Dudes get a MacBook, and all of a sudden, they got work to do in public places.

42 shares on Reddit this month:

Nothing like a meteor shower to remind you that burning out can still be breathtaking.

10 shares on TikTok this month:

Relationship status: We have changed from “I love you” to “I love YouTube”.

23 shares on Messenger this month:

Someone at work had a 25-year anniversary, and it took everything in me not to say she’s been working longer than I’ve been alive.

16 shares on Slack this month:

If I’m ever on life support, unplug me, then plug me back in. See if that works.

85 shares on Facebook this month:

Just said “shitted feet” instead of “fitted sheet” in front of my my son and his friends. If you need me, I’ll be in the closet.

23 shares on Threads this month:

Some of these fake tans look like an old Tupperware container that’s had marinara sauce in it.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I voted for the candidate on the last yard sign I saw before pulling in. Slow children at play will lead us into the future.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I think, therefore I am. I am, therefore I think. Therefore I am. I think.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m not lazy, I’m on energy-saving mode.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

An introvert walked into a bar. Just kidding. The introvert stayed home.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

My New Years resolutions are to do some things, and stop doing some other things.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Absolutely no reason for a single guy to be in a sunflower field. Get out of there, pervert!

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Is ChatGPT down for anyone else? I’m a neurosurgeon in the middle of brain surgery.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

You can mess up big time letting someone know you have a printer.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

When I said there’s no such thing as a dumb question, I didn’t expect them to take it as a personal challenge.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Let’s build a fort with blankets and pillows, and just stay in it all day.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,291

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇺 has downloaded:

My therapist says he can’t take any more of my talk and that I should join a group. So, here I am.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has copied:

Doing all of this just to die in the end! LMAO!

Someone from 🇧🇫 has viewed:

The toddler refers to every baby as Baby [Name], like Baby is their formal title.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has bookmarked:

The absolute hottest thing you can do in front of a woman is tame a horse, but unfortunately, modern life affords us little opportunities for that.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has bookmarked:

Lorebombing is when you make a new friend in your thirties and you have to catch each other up.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has copied:

Have you tried just not thinking about it? Like, ever again?

Someone from 🇮🇱 has copied:

Drunk me promising you anything is the equivalent of a politician giving their manifesto … it’s not gonna happen.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has copied:

My chakra went out for cigarettes.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has copied:

Having a crush is so stupid. Like, why is this dude in my head at 8 am?

Someone from 🇲🇷 has viewed:

I don’t always say something stupid. But when I do, I keep talking and make it worse.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Discord:

I’m saving myself for my vibrator.

Going viral on YouTube:

I watch “Law and Order” so much that when I turn off the TV, I wipe my fingerprints off the remote.

Breaking via Twitch:

If they can bring back the dire wolf, they can bring back Norm Macdonald.

Live now on TikTok:

I think my bank account has been taking Ozempic.

Spotted on Discord:

Caught my husband staring at me again. He’s probably weighing his pros and cons.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Sex is cool but have you ever had a king size bed all to yourself.

Going viral on Reddit:

Leaving my apartment for two weeks, but leaving a single cup in the sink as a gesture to continuity upon my return.

Live now on Slack:

Girl cats get named after ancient goddesses and boy cats get named after Taco Bell menu items.

Breaking via YouTube:

Silk is a crazy material. “I like your shirt,” thanks. It came out of a bug.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Until further notice the days of the week are now called thisday, thatday, otherday, someday, yesterday, today and nextday!

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