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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇾 has bookmarked:

What do you mean I overthink things (as I wonder if I hurt my dog’s feelings by liking cat videos on Instagram)?

Someone from 🇮🇹 has bookmarked:

I postpone certain outfits until I get a certain hairstyle because, yes, it’s that deep.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has shared:

Everyone’s worried about a recession, but babes, we’re heading for a dark age.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has bookmarked:

Not me out here checking the growth progress of my potted flowers only a couple hours after I planted the seeds in the first place.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has shared:

The question of whether an employer values its employees is sometimes answered by the toilet paper.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has viewed:

Needing to stretch is so funny. Your body is like “Ughhh, make me longer!”

Someone from 🇱🇰 has bookmarked:

Don’t you hate it when you lose things? Like the motivation to do anything.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has copied:

There’s a disconnect between the decibel level of my car singing and my talent.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has viewed:

Gonna start an app for cat sitters where they can review the cats they take care of and it’ll be called Litterboxd.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has copied:

“It’s the most wonderful crime of the year!” I crooned running away with the pot of Santa’s donations.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

237 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,506

Funny Quotes Topics

17,571

Funny Quotes Images

15,506

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,253

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via TikTok:

I like my music at a volume where I can’t hear you.

Spotted on TikTok:

In university, you are either struggling academically, financially, emotionally, or all three.

Making waves on Instagram:

I’d imagine the sound of clowns having sex would just be a cacophony of bicycle horns.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

My whole life just flashed before my eyes and there was way too much pizza.

Going bananas on X:

Silently hoping for a comet to strike, to get out of today’s responsibilities.

Going viral on Instagram:

Dating is the process of meeting someone until you find out what’s wrong with them.

Seen just now on Twitch:

I don’t abuse substances. I cherish and nurture them.

Going viral on Discord:

Imagine thinking you have any clue what’s going on.

Just landed via Facebook:

A true friend is someone who thinks you’re a good egg, even though they know you’re slightly cracked.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Yoda, seeing himself in 4K: HDMI

Give it to me straight, doc, what can I do to be healthier besides changing my entire lifestyle?

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Give it to me straight, doc, what can I do to be healthier besides changing my entire lifestyle?
Download image ↓

Commentary:
Well, it seems like you're looking for a health shortcut without all the hard work, eh? 🤔 Sorry to break it to you, but the old "take a magic pill and call me in the morning" routine isn't quite cutting it anymore! 🚫💊 How about we start with some baby steps? Maybe swap out that soda for some water, and perhaps take a walk around the block instead of Netflix-binging all weekend long? 🥤🚶

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

52 shares on Snapchat this month:

Touched a tree and accidentally absorbed 400 years of wisdom and 2 squirrel secrets.

48 shares on Discord this month:

The worst thing I’ve seen as a paramedic is my paycheck.

73 shares on X this month:

What is it called when you’re smart but everything you do is freaking stupid?

42 shares on WhatsApp this month:

My neighbor is having some kind of party and didn’t invite me. I guess I have to call the cops again.

81 shares on Threads this month:

How is this the same brain that used to remember everybody’s phone numbers?

24 shares on Discord this month:

I bet oiling and wrapping potatoes in aluminum foil feels so good for the potato.

76 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Can we all agree that Mini Cooper drivers need to put an extended flag on the back of their cars so the stalls where they’re parked stop looking empty?

44 shares on Telegram this month:

I have now spread out a blue tarpaulin in the garden. I want it to look like I have a pool on Google Maps.

75 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Just saying “Think about it!” is enough to overwhelm many people these days.

58 shares on Facebook this month:

I wouldn’t trust a single one of you with a flying car.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

24 folks are currently checking 👀

So basically, companies pay YouTube to show ads, and we pay YouTube to not show ads.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

My car is making strange noises but it’s just me singing.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

The USA is having so many disasters and tragedies, you’d almost think it was built on thousands of ancient Indian burial grounds.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve jogged with my jogging pants about as often as I’ve rolled through the kitchen with kitchen roll.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I appreciate the people that interact with me and I really appreciate the ones that don’t.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Your Majesty” would be the best name for a cat.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Since emojis have been around, I finally have a rough idea of how women feel when they don’t know what to wear.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I tried selling my soul to the devil, and he said no.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Don’t be afraid to ask questions during a job interview. It’s the best way to find out if the person you’re interviewing is a good candidate for the job.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Here’s your daily reminder to not forget about Dre.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

237 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,506

Funny Quotes Topics

17,571

Funny Quotes Images

15,506

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,492

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇿 has downloaded:

Be useless, so nobody can use you.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has shared:

Just said “shitted feet” instead of “fitted sheet” in front of my my son and his friends. If you need me, I’ll be in the closet.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has viewed:

Just because it’s a bad idea doesn’t mean that it ain’t gonna be a hell of a lot of fun.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has shared:

Let’s go out for carrots sometime.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has shared:

Sex is cool and all, but have you ever tried obsessing over a mediocre person who’s just not that into you.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has bookmarked:

I’m looking for a moisturizer to hide the fact that I’ve been tired since 2010.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has bookmarked:

My housemates are convinced our house is haunted. I’ve lived here for 274 years and not noticed anything strange.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has shared:

Me at a nightclub: Where are the chairs?

Someone from 🇫🇲 has bookmarked:

“Left alone” would have been the right answer as a child to the question of what I wanted to be when I grew up.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has bookmarked:

Brushing your teeth at night is a hellish chore. Walking from bed to bathroom feels harder than working in the mines all day. I’m getting pissed just thinking about it.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Slack:

Objection your honor, if the prosecutor doesn’t have anything nice to say then he shouldn’t say anything at all.

Just landed via Pinterest:

The fewer the people, the greater the inner peace.

Seen just now on TikTok:

There should be a true crime story about feeding someone a peanut butter sandwich and giving them nothing to drink.

Spotted on YouTube:

I’m only awake because my coffee needs me.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Money can’t buy happiness, until you’re on vacation and then you realize it definitely can.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Dogs come when they’re called; cats take a message and get back to you later.

Breaking via Messenger:

I think we all need to go out into an empty field and just scream for about an hour.

Going viral on Messenger:

Just waiting for my laundry to be done so I can pop it in the dryer and forget about it again.

Going viral on Reddit:

Getting mad when an app updates and changes their format is the new “rearranged grocery store” for me.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Marriages are like pancakes. Sometimes you gotta throw the first one out.

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