Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇬 has copied:

If you can’t handle me while I’m broke, then you don’t deserve me when I have $600.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has bookmarked:

We seriously need to bring back courting. What the hell is ‘wyd tonight?’ Arrive on a horse and bring flowers like a man.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has bookmarked:

Make it a habit to cry and act unhinged at meetings so you’re never invited back.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has viewed:

When this multivitamin kicks in I’m going to do so much success.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has viewed:

I’m so introverted, I only listen to house music.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has copied:

“Stalking”. God forbid I have access to public information and know how to utilize my resources.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has viewed:

Rappers be making you feel guilty for no reason at all: “You was in the house eating dinner while I was in the streets hungry”. Like my fault, bro.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has bookmarked:

I learn from the mistakes of people who took my advice.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has downloaded:

I don’t hate you, but I hope you run out of hot water before you’re finished your shower.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has downloaded:

Not being able to fall asleep is so embarrassing. All I’m asking my brain to do is nothing and it can’t even do that?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,497

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on TikTok:

I don’t know what’s more fun—grocery shopping or making the old men blush by asking if these melons look ripe.

Seen just now on WeChat:

I usually start exploring the abyss around 7 p.m.

Just shared via Discord:

Adults are always asking children what they want to be when they grow up because they’re looking for ideas.

Making waves on Slack:

Apparently the term for migraine-sufferer is ‘migraneur.’ Nice getting recognition as a kind of artisan of suffering.

Shared recently on Slack:

I could own a thousand summer dresses, and it still wouldn’t be enough.

Breaking via Telegram:

Netflix will help you finish spelling the name of the movie you’re looking for, and then tell you they don’t have it.

Spotted on Reddit:

I’ve folded seven page corners of the book I’m reading. That’s 49 in dog ears.

Seen just now on Instagram:

At my next therapy session, I will be discussing the trauma I’ve been dealing with ever since the grocery store layout was altered.

Seen just now on YouTube:

The dude who invented the autocorrect has died. Restaurant in piece.

Just shared via Twitch:

Need someone to feed me Doritos while I read, so I don’t mess up the pages. No weirdos.

Google Maps should start screaming the more wrong turns you make.

2 months ago

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Google Maps: 'I said LEFT, not a U-TURN!'U0001F602🗺️ #LostAndFound"

frustration, Google, Google Maps, humor, maps, navigation, scream, screaming, should, start, technology, turn, wrong, wrong turn

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Scientists just confirmed that our dreams were real in another reality.

0

3 weeks ago

alternate, alternate reality, another, confirmation, dream, dreams, just, real, reality, scientist, scientists
A treadmill minute is four times as long as a sleep minute.

0

2 months ago

comparison, exercise, fitness, humor, minute, sarcasm, sleep, time, times, treadmill
4 sneezes in a row is clout chasing. Wrap it up!

0

2 months ago

4, chasing, clout, exaggeration, humor, joke, media, row, sneeze, social, social media, wrap
Accordion to current studies, 90% of you did not realize that this sentence started with a musical instrument.

0

2 months ago

90, accordion, awareness, humor, instrument, musical, musical instrument, realize, sentence, study, surprise, wordplay
Do you use AI, or is the AI using you?

0

2 months ago

AI, artificial, artificial intelligence, funny question, human, human interaction, humor, intelligence, interaction, question, technology, using
If I win the lottery, no one around me will be broke, and I truly mean that. I will move to a wealthy neighborhood.

0

2 months ago

around, broke, friendship, humor, i, lottery, me, mean, money, move, neighborhood, relocation, truly, wealth, wealthy, win

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

65 shares on Instagram this month:

I miss making out in public and making people feel uncomfortable.

91 shares on Instagram this month:

Me, telling my kids we’re leaving in 30 minutes: We’re leaving in 5 minutes.

41 shares on Pinterest this month:

Sometimes my body needs to be punished by Taco Bell.

92 shares on Slack this month:

My boyfriend moved in with me straight from Hotel Mama. In a way, I’m now a single parent.

47 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I’ve just told my doctor I have all the Monkey Pox symptoms. He asked me to swing by tomorrow.

58 shares on Discord this month:

Showing up late with an iced coffee is not about poor time management, it’s about knowing how to make an entrance.

14 shares on Reddit this month:

My youngest started kindergarten today and I cried, but mostly for his teachers.

75 shares on Discord this month:

Noise cancelling headphones but for when the noises are coming from inside your head.

27 shares on Facebook this month:

If I unsubscribe from your email list, I definitely do not need you to send a follow-up email to confirm.

40 shares on Messenger this month:

Everybody in the grocery store is my enemy, and I will not be elaborating.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇹 has copied:

I would like to thank my arms for always being by my side. My legs for always supporting me. And my fingers because I can always count on them.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has copied:

Those security guards at the Samsung store are Guardians of the Galaxy.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has shared:

The Slow and the Furious: me navigating a shopping cart through a grocery store filled with morons.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has viewed:

I wish I could be as excited about being awake as my dog is about me being awake.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has copied:

I’ve got a soft heart and a savage mouth. I’m like a Hallmark card written by Gordon Ramsay.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has downloaded:

I think the Discovery Channel should be on a different channel every day.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has downloaded:

There are two types of people: those who are clueless about their kids’ schedules and the other who plan it down to the minute. And they end up marrying each other.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has copied:

I love how unforgiving soy sauce is. Cause you know immediately when you did too much with her.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has bookmarked:

The main problem is that far too many people have far too easy access to podcast equipment.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has shared:

Is there anyone here old enough to remember when typing was a class in high school?

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Slack:

There are people who have a favourite colour, and there are people whose favourite colour is purple. These are very different things. Purple fans are different creatures.

Spotted on Reddit:

Maybe your baby is crying because he knows you don’t have rizz.

Breaking via TikTok:

If your store’s bowl of water is just for pets, you should really put up a sign.

Live now on X:

I’m sorry you had a bad experience at our restaurant. To make it up to you, here is a coupon for more of our terrible, terrible food.

Making waves on Instagram:

Do people who spend a fortune on outdoor heating know they can just go inside?

Trending via Facebook:

Always remember you’re unique, just like everyone else.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

You’ve got to question the legitimacy of the Burger Kingdom if Burger King is just handing out crowns to anybody willy-nilly.

Shared recently on Reddit:

My therapist said cutting people off isn’t healthy. She’s next.

Making waves on Telegram:

I’m at the age where a house arrest no longer sounds like the worst thing.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

This time last night, there was a spider so big in my bathroom it put me under a glass on a postcard and carried me out.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Google Maps should start screaming the more wrong turns you make.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Scientists just confirmed that our dreams were real in another reality.

A treadmill minute is four times as long as a sleep minute.

4 sneezes in a row is clout chasing. Wrap it up!

Accordion to current studies, 90% of you did not realize that this sentence started with a musical instrument.

Do you use AI, or is the AI using you?

If I win the lottery, no one around me will be broke, and I truly mean that. I will move to a wealthy neighborhood.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨