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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log โœจ

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ป๐Ÿ‡ช has shared:

Nature just builds 30 foot trees. Without even pulling a permit.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ญ๐Ÿ‡บ has downloaded:

Shazam but for random noises outside.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ป๐Ÿ‡บ has downloaded:

When I die, I hope Iโ€™m remembered for my ability to take any bad situation and make it worse.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ท๐Ÿ‡ผ has shared:

Has anyone ever died from waiting for a group of people to decide what they want to eat.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡ฒ has shared:

Some call it flirtingโ€ฆ I call it just being extra nice to someone who is extra attractiveโ€ฆ

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡จ๐Ÿ‡ญ has shared:

I suppose the supreme discipline for ninjas is sneaking up with flip flops.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฉ๐Ÿ‡ฒ has viewed:

Increasing the amount of high fives I give my boss each day until he quits his job.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡น๐Ÿ‡ฟ has copied:

I like my men like I like my coffee. Not that hot but still making me anxious.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡น๐Ÿ‡ท has copied:

I see 1000 girls. I know 100 girls. I talk to 10 girls. I love 1 girl. And she doesn’t love me back.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ฎ has viewed:

I just need a little time to warm up to you, and then Iโ€™ll be super fun, I promiseโ€”1-2 years at most.

Funny Quotes Data ๐Ÿค“

New Funny Quotes

806 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,968

Funny Quotes Topics

13,932

Funny Quotes Images

10,968

Updated

10 minutes ago

Users Online

3,422

Social Media Log ๐Ÿ’ซ

Shared recently on Twitch:

Got fired on my first day working at the drugstore for calling my new coworkers ‘my pharmily’.

Live now on WeChat:

“No idea” doesn’t mean I don’t know the answer. I just don’t want to have a conversation.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

The worst thing you can do while cleaning is sit down for a minute.

Just landed via Facebook:

A mustache is just mouth bangs.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

I alway get the same thing every year for Christmas. Fat!

Spotted on Slack:

Wine shopping is 10% grape variety and 90% โ€œooohh, this one has a pretty label.โ€

Making waves on YouTube:

Flex on your kids by asking โ€œare we there yet?โ€ before they do.

Making waves on X:

A narcissist wants the authority of a king while having the accountability of a toddler.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Nobody plays better together than siblings being told itโ€™s bedtime.

Going viral on Threads:

The one thing I’ve never had in my car’s glove box is a pair of gloves.

Got kicked out of reincarnation club for yelling yolo.

Got kicked out of reincarnation club for yelling yolo.
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Commentary:
"Looks like someone took the whole 'carpe diem' thing a little too literally! ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ”„ May need to work on those club etiquette skills – reincarnation ain't no joke! ๐Ÿ™ˆ #YOLO"

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Welcome to Wordgag! ๐Ÿ˜‰โœŒ๏ธ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ’ฅ

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Funny Quotes Data ๐Ÿค“

New Funny Quotes

806 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,968

Funny Quotes Topics

13,932

Funny Quotes Images

10,968

Updated

10 minutes ago

Users Online

3,432

Funny Quotes of the Month ๐Ÿš€

Funny Quotes of the Year โญ

Activity Log โœจ

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ฟ has downloaded:

I have now learned the moonwalk. It’s visually the coolest way to get fresh dog poop off the soles of your shoes.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฟ๐Ÿ‡ฆ has viewed:

Experience is what you get when you don’t get what you wanted.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฐ๐Ÿ‡ท has viewed:

Forget tequila, I’m at the age where you can wake up with a hangover from Netflix.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡ด has viewed:

This meeting could have been a cake.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ต๐Ÿ‡ฆ has viewed:

Being friends with introverts is hard sometimes. Did they die? Are they just recharging? Are they Batman now? The suspense is killing me.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡ผ has copied:

No one told me middle age would be so fuzzy, and if you are wondering whether I mean my eyesight or my facial hair, yes.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡พ has bookmarked:

Happy to report that “what time is it/time for you to get a watch” is still being used by the youths.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡ฐ has bookmarked:

If you call me โ€œdaddyโ€ in bed, I will immediately stop what we are doing and make you clean your room.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ป has bookmarked:

They should invent a day where I donโ€™t think.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡ฎ has copied:

The Sims fulfills the millennial fantasy of being able to afford a house in a walkable neighborhood on the salary of a professional carrot peeler.

Social Media Log ๐Ÿ’ซ

Making waves on WeChat:

โ€œIt’s been a long week!โ€ Me, on a Tuesday.

Just shared via Threads:

Fitbits are just Tamagotchis, except the stupid animal you’re trying to keep alive is you.

Going viral on Twitch:

I hate lying to my parents but it’s for their own good.

Spotted on Telegram:

My Saturday was going really well, until I realized it’s Sunday!

Making waves on Messenger:

Spoiler alert: Eventually you will pay a price for the way you treated people.

Just shared via Instagram:

Pinterest algorithm is like a loving dad who fills the whole fridge with oranges after seeing you enjoy one.

Just shared via Reddit:

I think this man might be the one, I say right before he dumps me and I never hear from him again.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

Can we bring back the lost art of just hanging out at your friends house doing absolutely nothing?

Trending via Telegram:

I didn’t just turn into a grouchy old woman overnight. It took years of people letting me down, pissing me off, and dealing with idiots to get this good at it.

Just shared via Reddit:

Keep your friend’s toast and your enemy’s toaster.

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ยฉ 2025. All fights retarded. ๐Ÿคช

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