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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log โœจ

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฉ๐Ÿ‡ฒ has bookmarked:

Now I understand why old people sit outside just to sit outside.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡ญ has bookmarked:

Everybody hates me for being a beautiful angel with a perfect soul.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡ฉ has copied:

If ever go missing, please only put pictures of me on the news where I look skinny and hot even if that means they wonโ€™t find me.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡ช has shared:

Not the sharpest cheddar on the charcuterie board.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ณ๐Ÿ‡ท has copied:

Half of Twitter is horny, half is depressed and the other half donโ€™t know how to do math.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡ผ has viewed:

Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It’s the transition that’s troublesome.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฑ๐Ÿ‡น has bookmarked:

I have a bit of an inferiority complex. But itโ€™s not a very good one.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡ฆ has downloaded:

Anyone who thinks being a pessimist isn’t any fun fails to appreciate the joy of saying, ‘I told you so.’

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡น๐Ÿ‡ฒ has shared:

What a bleak life it must be if you’ve never had a drink shoot through your nose when you laugh.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฉ๐Ÿ‡ช has shared:

Hannibal Lecter didnโ€™t have to be a serial killer, he was scary enough as a foodie.

Funny Quotes Data ๐Ÿค“

New Funny Quotes

2386 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,548

Funny Quotes Topics

15,227

Funny Quotes Images

12,548

Updated

5 minutes ago

Users Online

3,454

Social Media Log ๐Ÿ’ซ

Trending via Snapchat:

The worst part about re-watching Home Alone is you just know Kevinโ€™s parents bought this house for like $250K.

Breaking via Threads:

I get so embarrassed for no reason after posting on social media. Like, why am I showing my life?

Seen just now on Twitch:

If I was lying down and someone came up and gave me tons of kisses and smooshed my face, Iโ€™d love it. I donโ€™t know what my cat’s problem is.

Spotted on Instagram:

Dating these days is like trusting a crackhead to come back with your change.

Going viral on Facebook:

Flirting when bored can really get you into some unwanted situations.

Going viral on X:

Typos keep me humble. Every email is a gamble.

Just landed via Reddit:

I don’t always whoop, but when I do, there it is.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Iโ€™m so single right now, I canโ€™t even spell relayshaunship.

Just shared via Facebook:

They probably killed the first few people whose eyes turned red in a photograph before they realized it wasnโ€™t any demon stuff.

Trending via Snapchat:

When you scream into your pillow, the memory foam never forgets.

Having a low quality camera will definitely force you to keep your life private.

Having a low quality camera will definitely force you to keep your life private.
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Commentary:
"Looks like my camera's doing a better job at witness protection than the FBI! ๐Ÿ“ท๐Ÿคฆโ€โ™‚๏ธ๐Ÿ˜‚"

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Welcome to Wordgag! ๐Ÿ˜‰โœŒ๏ธ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ’ฅ

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data ๐Ÿค“

New Funny Quotes

2386 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,548

Funny Quotes Topics

15,227

Funny Quotes Images

12,548

Updated

5 minutes ago

Users Online

3,441

Funny Quotes of the Month ๐Ÿš€

Funny Quotes of the Year โญ

Activity Log โœจ

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ง๐Ÿ‡ช has downloaded:

Absurdity is the spice of life.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฐ๐Ÿ‡ผ has shared:

Due to financial reasons, I will now be performing photosynthesis.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฆ๐Ÿ‡ช has shared:

As a sales clerk, you want to shout after some people as they leave the store: “Are you sure you’ve really REALLY touched everything?”

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡ฒ has shared:

Hi, where do you meet someone without dating apps and if you never leave your apartment? I need tips, please. Urgently!

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฎ๐Ÿ‡ถ has downloaded:

Coffee is just goth water.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡จ๐Ÿ‡ญ has bookmarked:

I get writerโ€™s block responding to people.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฒ๐Ÿ‡ญ has bookmarked:

When I die, I want to come back as a speed bump so I can piss people off.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ซ๐Ÿ‡ฎ has viewed:

Single by choice. Just not my choice.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฆ๐Ÿ‡ฑ has bookmarked:

You donโ€™t need fun to have alcohol.

Someone from ๐Ÿ‡ฌ๐Ÿ‡ฆ has bookmarked:

Babe, wanna come over and watch me apply for jobs on Indeed until I start to cry.

Social Media Log ๐Ÿ’ซ

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

You sound smart. You some kinda ‘ologist?

Spotted on Discord:

Wake me up when I’m rich!

Making waves on X:

Adding โ€œscroll for two hoursโ€ to my To-Do list, so I wonโ€™t do it.

Making waves on Snapchat:

No, they’re not “symptoms of depressions.” They’re Blue’s Clues.

Trending via Threads:

Hey girl, are you an extraterrestrial? โ€™Cause your husbandโ€™s out here acting like you donโ€™t exist.

Shared recently on X:

Not arguing with a man that can cook. Whatever you say, handsome.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

Actually, this email couldโ€™ve been a meeting. We couldโ€™ve spent an hour on the clock talking shit and gossiping. Someone couldโ€™ve brought bagels.

Broadcasted on Slack:

I wonder how many people think, “What the hell?” after talking to me.

Broadcasted on Discord:

If you want your teen to finish her homework, tell her to fold the laundry.

Shared recently on Messenger:

The answer is always no, I did not get enough sleep.

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