Wordgag 🎅

Commentary:
"Who needs counting sheep when you have no one to talk to? 😴 Counting snores instead! 💤 Sweet dreams of silence and solitude await! ✨"

alone, alone time, good, having, humor, peace, rest, schedule, sleeping, sleeping schedule, solitude, talk, talking, time

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Sorry, babe, can’t right now. The group chat is active, and I’m trying to get my joke in before they change topics.

0

1 week ago

active, babe, before, change, chat, conversation, group, group chat, humor, joke, media, relationship, right, social, social media, sorry, texting, timing, trying
Establish dominance by showing up with all your childhood trophies.

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1 month ago

achievement, childhood, childhood trophy, confidence, dominance, humor, nostalgia, playfulness, trophy
Only time I believe a man is when he tells me that I’m pretty.

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1 month ago

believe, compliment, confidence, flirting, honesty, humor, i, man, me, only, pretty, self-esteem, time, vanity
Caveman bartender: “This one’s on the cave.”

0

1 month ago

bartender, cave, caveman, drink, humor, joke, ones, pun
Explain it to me like I’m 5 drinks in.

0

3 months ago

5, alcohol, drinking, drinks, explain, explanation, humor, intoxication, me
Getting tipsy at a dimly lit restaurant with good conversation would heal me right now.

0

4 weeks ago

booster, conversation, dimly, dimly-lit, drink, getting, good, heal, healing, lit, me, mood, mood booster, relaxation, restaurant, right, socializing, tipsy

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

15 shares on Discord this month:

Dr. Pepper just unseated Pepsi as the second most popular soda in America. Don’t tell me that getting your PhD isn’t worth it.

60 shares on Slack this month:

I am crumbling under the tyranny of constantly needing to ‘Create an Account’.

89 shares on Discord this month:

Perks of being ugly: phone battery lasts longer.

33 shares on Instagram this month:

At my age, I’m worried about tripping and falling, so I wear a helmet. I’m also worried about looking ridiculous, so I carry a skateboard.

18 shares on Telegram this month:

Hugging helps break the tension with strangers in elevators.

31 shares on Facebook this month:

Please stop fighting with each other on the internet and start fighting with each other in real life. Life is short.

14 shares on Messenger this month:

Imagine if all the money spent on AI was spent on trains.

80 shares on Instagram this month:

It’s so hot out here, I saw a bird blowing on a worm before he ate it.

81 shares on WeChat this month:

Why do chefs always have to cut everything so fast? It’s just an onion man, why don’t you relax?

65 shares on TikTok this month:

“Damn, you’re tight!” I whisper as I look at my monthly budget.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇸 has bookmarked:

Single in the womb, single till the tomb!

Someone from 🇷🇸 has bookmarked:

Home Depot should allow men over 40 to have birthday parties in their stores.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has viewed:

I changed my password to ‘incorrect’ so whenever I forget it, the computer tells me it’s incorrect, and I’m like, ‘Wow, you didn’t have to be so rude about it.’

Someone from 🇨🇳 has viewed:

Is there a rehab for introverts who try to extrovert? Asking for a friend.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has viewed:

Gave my family the wrong address for our beach rental. Hoping to get a couple days in before they find me.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has bookmarked:

Never in my life have I heard my dad sneeze at an acceptable volume.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has downloaded:

Everyone hates drama, yet somehow the tabloids remain in business.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has downloaded:

And is the financial stability in the room with us right now?

Someone from 🇲🇷 has copied:

Might mess around and reply to all work emails with “make me”.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has shared:

Don’t tell me that everything was better in the past. I was there.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Discord:

It’s not getting better or worse, but rather a third mysterious thing.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Social media may have been a mistake.

Spotted on Telegram:

No matter how much Polynesian food you eat, you always want Samoa.

Going viral on TikTok:

Is it smoky eye or were you wearing mascara and your eyes got itchy?

Going viral on X:

Post-standing clarity is like, damn, I could have been sitting this whole time.

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

When your children are teenagers, it’s important to have a dog so that someone in the house is happy to see you.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

You can’t confuse me. I already don’t know what’s going on.

Trending via Messenger:

I hate Valentine’s Day but I do enjoy infant archery.

Just shared via Twitch:

I heard God is testing both of us at the same time. Wanna hang out?

Just landed via Pinterest:

It’s been so long since I had sex last, went jogging in flip flops just to remember the sound.

Wordgag 🎅

Activity Log ✨

Having no one to talk would get you a good sleeping schedule.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Sorry, babe, can’t right now. The group chat is active, and I’m trying to get my joke in before they change topics.

Establish dominance by showing up with all your childhood trophies.

Only time I believe a man is when he tells me that I’m pretty.

Caveman bartender: “This one’s on the cave.”

Explain it to me like I’m 5 drinks in.

Getting tipsy at a dimly lit restaurant with good conversation would heal me right now.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨