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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇬 has bookmarked:

Plants are like “I’ll have a light lunch.”

Someone from 🇱🇾 has viewed:

I want to make fun of Kanye but I’m always losing my shit on the internet too.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has downloaded:

The secret to being a private person is to overshare dumb shit so people think you are an open book but then not tell them any of the important details of your life.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has shared:

Becoming an adult was the worst thing I’ve ever done.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has downloaded:

I’m not a dietitian, but if you eat pizza right at midnight your body doesn’t know if the calories go towards yesterday or today so they don’t count.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has downloaded:

You can’t truly refer to yourself as an adult until you catch yourself getting really angry when the grocery store changes their layout.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has bookmarked:

I’m at the age when riding around town, I say, “When did they build that?”

Someone from 🇵🇬 has shared:

Mice after a breakup be like “we are not on squeaking terms”.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has shared:

Eight times a day, I ask myself which object in the office will hurt me enough so that I can go home, but at the same time won’t hurt too much.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has downloaded:

Needing to rant and not wanting anyone to know your business is such a crazy combo.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

238 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,507

Funny Quotes Topics

17,572

Funny Quotes Images

15,507

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,644

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via X:

Wife bought something on FB Marketplace, but she’s afraid she’ll get kidnapped, so she sends me to pick it up from a guy whose wife sent him because she’s afraid to get kidnapped.

Live now on Twitch:

She’s probably just not using her phone right now for the first time ever in her whole life.

Shared recently on Telegram:

I deal with my personal problems the same way I study for tests, I don’t.

Spotted on Snapchat:

As a wife and mother my hobbies include rage cleaning, rage cooking, and rage folding.

Just landed via TikTok:

Humans are just chaos wrapped in meat, going bananas on caffeine.

Shared recently on Discord:

Every guy wants to be called Daddy till that test comes back positive.

Spotted on Snapchat:

I bought my antidepressants off of Temu and now I glow in the dark.

Shared recently on WeChat:

There are always new uncomplimentary angles to view yourself from. Keep contorting!

Going viral on Discord:

My favorite Slipknot member is the one who wears the mask.

Going viral on Reddit:

Nothing has improved the quality of my life more than living beyond my means.

Her heart is a combination of wildflowers and wildfires, delicate, yet so fierce.

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Her heart is a combination of wildflowers and wildfires, delicate, yet so fierce.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"She's like a bouquet of wildflowers on fire, burning with the intensity of a million tiny suns! 🌼🔥✨ Beauty and ferocity entwined in her heart, like a whimsical tornado twirling through a field of daisies. 🌪️🌸 #FierceFlowerPower"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

40 shares on YouTube this month:

Venn diagrams. You either love ‘em or you hate ‘em. Or you’re somewhere in the middle.

27 shares on TikTok this month:

My acting reel includes clips of me “listening” during Zoom meetings.

19 shares on TikTok this month:

Going to IKEA if anyone needs some meatballs.

92 shares on Telegram this month:

That stupid look on my face is my face.

17 shares on Discord this month:

Summer Olympics is just me swimming in sweat and wrestling with my sports bra.

42 shares on TikTok this month:

“Too much garlic”? What’s next? Too much love? Too much desire?

25 shares on Telegram this month:

Giving people access to the internet was a massive mistake.

84 shares on Instagram this month:

My goal in life is to not have to commit seppuku.

20 shares on Snapchat this month:

No one is more hated than those two people who start a standing ovation.

40 shares on X this month:

In a previous life I may have been a carrier pigeon, in that all I ever think about is going home.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Dear people, who drive without music playing, what do you do with your brain?

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Even when I look up the slang of today’s kids, I still have no idea what it means.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Isolation, the most goated coping mechanism. I love talking to no one and losing my mind alone.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

The only thing Flat Earthers have to fear is sphere itself.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

“You should exercise for at least 30 minutes every day”. Okay, and how much if you’re not trying to go to the Olympics?

11 folks are currently checking 👀

You know it’s been a successful Thanksgiving when your clothes no longer fit.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

“Dress for the job you want, not for the job you have” is all well and good until you’re rocking a tutu.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Training a cat is very easy. After a few days, you do what she wants.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m sorry you had a bad experience at our restaurant. To make it up to you, here is a coupon for more of our terrible, terrible food.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Garlic and bread is the only marriage I truly have faith in.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

238 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,507

Funny Quotes Topics

17,572

Funny Quotes Images

15,507

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,671

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇳 has bookmarked:

My daily routine. Morning: Feeling tired, cranky and lazy. Afternoon: I could go for a nap. Night: I can’t sleep.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has downloaded:

Imagine falling in love and then finding out that they put antlers on their car for the holidays.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has bookmarked:

If you have a Roomba, but don’t dress it up in little outfits, then what are you even doing?

Someone from 🇦🇪 has bookmarked:

Was in a bookshop and asked a worker if he could recommend books to me. He said, ‘Sure, they’re great.’

Someone from 🇦🇫 has copied:

It amazes me how much exercise and extra fries sound alike.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has viewed:

I like listening to true crime podcasts while I clean my bathroom because I can pretend I’m destroying evidence.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has viewed:

He was clicking his pen 137 times a minute, Your Honor.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has viewed:

Babies will literally step on your face just to grab what they want.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has copied:

It always takes me an hour to get ready. 45 minutes for doing nothing and 15 hectic minutes for the rest.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has viewed:

I like my music at a volume where I can’t hear you.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Snapchat:

My workout goals are simple: I’d just like to be able to get up off the floor without looking like a turtle trying to flip itself back over.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

You can’t have a bad day at work if you don’t go.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

Everybody has a girlfriend and a boyfriend, and I’m over here like “I love food”.

Just shared via WeChat:

Met my soulmate again today: mashed potatoes and gravy.

Breaking via Slack:

Welcome to your senior years, where you get mad when they rearrange the grocery store.

Shared recently on WeChat:

In my 20’s: I want to find true love. In my 40’s: I just want a toaster that gets me.

Just landed via Pinterest:

Ragebaiting each other is flirting, btw.

Going bananas on TikTok:

Adult life sucks. Friends don’t even ask to see how fast you can run in your new shoes anymore.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Saw an article on “100 things to do before you die.” Was surprised Call 911 didn’t make the list.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

Ladies, don’t date hungry guys. They’re just trying to get into your pantries.

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