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Commentary:
"Smooth jazz really pushing the boundaries of patience, huh? 🎷🤔 Keep holding on, the hold music symphony isn't over yet! 🎶😅 #SmoothJazzTorture"

cell, cell phone, company, give, give up, hold, hold music, humor, interest, jazz, lose, music, phone, play, smooth, smooth jazz, working

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37 shares on Threads this month:

Welcome to adulthood: 9pm is midnight now.

94 shares on WeChat this month:

Maybe coffee is addicted to me?

47 shares on Discord this month:

Breakfast is the most important beer of the day.

36 shares on YouTube this month:

I get you, bowel syndrome. I’m irritable, too.

56 shares on Telegram this month:

“It’s Raining Men” and “Let the Bodies Hit the Floor” are the same song from different points of view.

17 shares on Reddit this month:

Ruined a Ferrari guy’s day today by telling him that I loved his Corvette.

88 shares on Threads this month:

Bird flu? Yeah, they’re known to do that.

75 shares on X this month:

Sleep is a free trial of death but with ads.

50 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Has anybody else completely lost it or is it just me and Kanye?

79 shares on Telegram this month:

Moose would have been a better name for a cow.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇲 has viewed:

Turns out I’m not an afternoon person either.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has shared:

I want to have a penguin that just waddles up to me whenever I’m sad.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has bookmarked:

If you can’t laugh at yourself, I will.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has viewed:

Can’t wait for when we’re all in our 80’s and still tweeting.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has copied:

Apparently, staying to yourself and not bothering people bothers people.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has copied:

If you start a sentence with “Let me reiterate…”, I’m gonna ignore it the second time too.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has viewed:

I’m really hoping money falls from the sky this week, or else I’m doomed.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has copied:

Got asked to be a godparent, proving God has lowered his recruitment standards.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has downloaded:

I was 21 when I was 15, that’s why everything’s boring now.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has downloaded:

I have to stand in the shower about this.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via TikTok:

Doggy style means I get a treat afterwards, right?

Just shared via Snapchat:

A moment of silence for everything I have to do but am not doing.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

The older I get, the more I appreciate people who pretend not to notice me when they see me out in public.

Just landed via Reddit:

If the universe is continuing to expand then why does my rent keep going up?

Just landed via Facebook:

There’s poetry in walking away without closing the door too loud.

Shared recently on Telegram:

My wife and I always eat dinner as fast as possible so we can have a popsicle.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

People in NYC are like, let me know if you’re ever in NYC.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

A person becomes 10 times more attractive not by their looks but by photoshop.

Going viral on Facebook:

Saw a big spider crawl into my closet last night. He’s probably in there trying on all my clothes, acting like he’s me.

Going bananas on TikTok:

Accidentally made eye contact with the sweets at the grocery store and now have to declare bankruptcy.

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Activity Log ✨

Hey cell phone companies who play smooth jazz hold music hoping I’ll lose interest and give up: yeah, it’s kinda working.

Wild that we could have been foraging for berries and dying off at 33, but we chose this nonsense instead.

I will not accept a hint. I will act dumb until you say it clearly to me.

Most people prefer lies. The truth just hits them like a WiFi outage, and then they just stand there, confused and buffering.

My name is Bob but my friends don’t call me.

Instead of presents this year, I’m giving everyone my opinion. Get excited!

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Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Hey cell phone companies who play smooth jazz hold music hoping I’ll lose interest and give up: yeah, it’s kinda working.

Keep the laugh going 😂

Facial recognition technology, but for me when I’m talking to people I’ve apparently met before.

Wild that we could have been foraging for berries and dying off at 33, but we chose this nonsense instead.

I will not accept a hint. I will act dumb until you say it clearly to me.

Most people prefer lies. The truth just hits them like a WiFi outage, and then they just stand there, confused and buffering.

My name is Bob but my friends don’t call me.

Instead of presents this year, I’m giving everyone my opinion. Get excited!

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨