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Commentary:
"Smooth jazz really pushing the boundaries of patience, huh? 🎷🤔 Keep holding on, the hold music symphony isn't over yet! 🎶😅 #SmoothJazzTorture"

cell, cell phone, company, give, give up, hold, hold music, humor, interest, jazz, lose, music, phone, play, smooth, smooth jazz, working

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67 shares on TikTok this month:

Shout out to Yamaha for being like, “Here’s a cool motorcycle. Also, here’s a cool piano.”

65 shares on WhatsApp this month:

When I get married, I want my wedding video to be filmed like it’s an episode of The Office. I want camera zooms, eye contact, side commentary— all of it.

80 shares on Snapchat this month:

I was hoping to age like a fine wine, but I sort of feel more like an avocado.

30 shares on Facebook this month:

Whenever I get up my cat gets up too and then yells at me like it’s my fault she decided we have to do this together.

18 shares on Slack this month:

Not to brag, but I skipped my mid-life crisis and went straight to cranky old man.

60 shares on Reddit this month:

Tell me I’d look good in a potato sack or lose me forever.

51 shares on Instagram this month:

Don’t be boring. Create the gossip you would like to hear.

32 shares on Pinterest this month:

The only narcissist I allow in my life is my cat.

68 shares on Reddit this month:

Facial recognition technology, but for me when I’m talking to people I’ve apparently met before.

99 shares on Slack this month:

I tell my kids winning isn’t everything and then I steal money from the monopoly bank.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇼 has bookmarked:

My body is a machine that turns pizza into diarrhea.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has bookmarked:

I tried meowing back at the cat to show him I was making an effort, but he just switched to English.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has viewed:

“Full-time” should be 20 hours max, man. This is ridiculous. I’ve got other stuff to do.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has copied:

Once you’ve been single for a long time, you realize how exhausting relationships can be.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has bookmarked:

There are people who leave comments on porn videos.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has shared:

Coming back to your own bed after a few days away is peak coziness.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has downloaded:

Lately I have the attention span of wait what?

Someone from 🇬🇼 has downloaded:

Welcome to your 40’s: oh you like surprises? here’s another chin. Surprise!

Someone from 🇵🇪 has downloaded:

The unemployed urge to say I love you during a job interview.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has downloaded:

A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kickboxing.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Slack:

Sarcastically saying “you’re welcome” to the people who don’t say thank you when I hold the door for them is something I’ll never stop doing.

Making waves on Twitch:

My body looks like I have a great personality.

Seen just now on Threads:

We should be able to go to the bar and drink to watch Love Island, like men do with sports.

Breaking via Reddit:

Is Mercury in reggaeton?

Just shared via LinkedIn:

How is a plant not able to handle direct sunlight? You’re from outside.

Breaking via Slack:

You can tell Monopoly is an old game because there’s a luxury tax, and rich people can go to jail.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Why aren’t we using these t-shirt cannons for burritos?

Spotted on Telegram:

In the future, there will be grandmas who can’t bake but have tattoos on their backs.

Seen just now on X:

Don’t talk to me while my earphones are in, man, I’m at a concert.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

I’ve got a headache, and it’s affecting my entire future.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Hey cell phone companies who play smooth jazz hold music hoping I’ll lose interest and give up: yeah, it’s kinda working.

Floating on a rock in space, but yeah – 9 to 5 sounds reasonable.

Trust me; this is the second millennium I’ve lived in.

May your coffee kick in, before reality does.

I get most of my exercise these days from shaking my head in disbelief.

When you want to key his car, but he doesn’t have one, so you bend his bus pass.

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Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Hey cell phone companies who play smooth jazz hold music hoping I’ll lose interest and give up: yeah, it’s kinda working.

Keep the laugh going 😂

Floating on a rock in space, but yeah – 9 to 5 sounds reasonable.

Trust me; this is the second millennium I’ve lived in.

May your coffee kick in, before reality does.

I get most of my exercise these days from shaking my head in disbelief.

Good morning to everyone except the people who are missing the ability to read the room.

When you want to key his car, but he doesn’t have one, so you bend his bus pass.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨