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Commentary:
"Smooth jazz really pushing the boundaries of patience, huh? 🎷🤔 Keep holding on, the hold music symphony isn't over yet! 🎶😅 #SmoothJazzTorture"

cell, cell phone, company, give, give up, hold, hold music, humor, interest, jazz, lose, music, phone, play, smooth, smooth jazz, working

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

If the number 666 is considered evil, then technically, 25.8069758 is the root of all evil.

0

5 months ago

evil, humor, joke, math, number, pun, root
Please don’t tell me how bad your life was growing up; we had to manually roll up our cars’ windows.

0

2 months ago

bad, car, cars, growing, growing up, humor, life, manual, me, nostalgia, please, roll, struggle, technology, tell, Windows
My kid tells me his toothpaste is “too spicy” but he doesn’t seem to be having any trouble with Flamin’ Hot Cheetos.

0

2 months ago

cheetos, contradiction, flamin’, Flamin’ Hot Cheetos, hot, humor, kid, me, parenting, snack, spicy, toothpaste, trouble
Whoever has my voodoo doll, if you could take some stuffing out of the midsection and give it a little forehead kiss, that would be great.

0

2 months ago

doll, forehead, forehead kiss, funny request, give, great, humor, joke, kiss, little, magic, midsection, playful, request, stuffing, take, voodoo, voodoo doll
Get in loser. We’re going on a guilt trip.

0

2 months ago

adventure, friends, going, guilt, humor, journey, loser, trip
My muffin top has become a full blown birthday cake.

0

2 months ago

birthday, body, body image, cake, food, humor, image, muffin, self-deprecation, top

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

49 shares on Pinterest this month:

Just because I’m awake doesn’t mean I’m ready to do things.

15 shares on Pinterest this month:

Eating cold ravioli counts as breakfast if you’re still wearing yesterday’s clothes.

88 shares on Discord this month:

Sorry, I wasn’t really listening but that’s awesome, unless it isn’t of course.

20 shares on Instagram this month:

The new American dream is an alien invasion.

49 shares on Discord this month:

There are approximately 1,010,300 words in the English language, but I could never string enough words together to properly express how much I want to hit you with a chair.

11 shares on Slack this month:

Ever since I was little, I always knew I wanted to retire.

55 shares on WeChat this month:

I wish I had the determination of my wife, who’s still flipping through radio stations as we pull into our driveway.

79 shares on X this month:

Dropped my skinny boyfriend between the bed and the wall like a vape or a TV remote.

32 shares on Snapchat this month:

No wine. No peace. Know wine. Know peace.

89 shares on Discord this month:

I’ve been so stressed about getting my shit together that I haven’t gotten any of my shit together.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇿 has viewed:

Girl, he’s nonchalant because he doesn’t like you. He’s definitely chalanting somewhere else.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has copied:

If you smoke pot in Saudi Arabia, you risk getting stoned.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has shared:

Great minds think alike. Unfortunately, so do stupid ones.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has bookmarked:

Welcome to your 40s: your chin looks lonely, here’s another one.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has viewed:

Girl who is still crazy: I was crazy back then.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has shared:

When a man gets married he has a moral obligation to scare his wife when he sneezes.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has bookmarked:

Sorry I’m late. The door said PULL, but I don’t believe everything I read.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has copied:

My husband sure has a lot of opinions on which movie he’s gonna sleep through.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has shared:

I’m writing a parenting book called ‘Kids won’t listen until you scream like your mother did’.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has downloaded:

I don’t want to alarm anyone, but my doctor says I have an irreversible terminal condition called aging.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Camping: When you spend a small fortune to live like somebody poor.

Going viral on Slack:

I’ve never met a problem I couldn’t make worse.

Spotted on WeChat:

90% of the things I worry about never happen. Worrying works.

Spotted on WeChat:

Kinda rude when I spend money, and it actually leaves my bank account. But okay.

Live now on Facebook:

The ‘E’ in my name stands for ‘Everything you need.’

Shared recently on Slack:

This pillow isn’t going to scream into itself.

Freshly posted on Threads:

For someone with a dry phone, I’m on it way too much.

Seen just now on Facebook:

I don’t need Halloween. I have strange characters around me all year round.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

My rapper name would be 2 stressd.

Live now on LinkedIn:

That stupid look on my face is my face.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Hey cell phone companies who play smooth jazz hold music hoping I’ll lose interest and give up: yeah, it’s kinda working.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

If the number 666 is considered evil, then technically, 25.8069758 is the root of all evil.

Please don’t tell me how bad your life was growing up; we had to manually roll up our cars’ windows.

My kid tells me his toothpaste is “too spicy” but he doesn’t seem to be having any trouble with Flamin’ Hot Cheetos.

Whoever has my voodoo doll, if you could take some stuffing out of the midsection and give it a little forehead kiss, that would be great.

Get in loser. We’re going on a guilt trip.

My muffin top has become a full blown birthday cake.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨