Trending Funny Quotes 👇

  • The fastest mammal on earth is the smartass on the web.
  • If trees offered Wi-Fi, we would plant more of them. Too bad they only produce this oxygen thing.
  • Starting your most incoherent sentence with “put simply” to deflect blame onto the reader.
  • A late person is never happier than when the person they’re meeting is later than them.
  • I haven’t broken a mirror lately, but my water broke and I’ve had seven years of kids crawling into my bed.
  • My addiction to buying things I don’t need started at the school book fair.