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Commentary:
"Dear customer service, I thought about writing this complaint with my quill pen, but then I realized my middle finger typing skills are far more impressive. 🖕😂"

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Trending Funny Quotes 👇

I’m gonna start cursing people out but with biblical phrases like I hope your crops wither and bear no fruit and the ravens eat your mustard seeds.

1 month ago
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My favorite thing to do when I see people I know in public is to pretend I didn’t.

5 months ago
awkward, awkward moment, favorite, humor, i, interaction, know, moment, people, pretend, public, social, social interaction, thing
I think we all know who to blame for the generation of parents who put too many Ys in their kids’ names. Lynyrd Skynyrd.

1 month ago
blame, culture, generation, humor, i, kids, know, lynyrd, Lynyrd Skynyrd, music, names, naming, parents, put, skynyrd, think, too
Does anyone know if it’s possible to buy the transcripts of audiobooks? Thanks!

1 month ago
audiobook, buy, humor, inquiry, know, question, reading, thanks, transcript
My idea of fun is watching something on the TV while I look at relevant Wikipedia articles on my phone.

1 month ago
activity, entertainment, fun, i, idea, leisure, multitasking, phone, something, TV, watching, Wikipedia
Before you just FaceTime me randomly, please don’t.

2 months ago
before, call, communication, Facetime, humor, interaction, just, me, please, request, social, social interaction, technology

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Someone from 🇦🇷 has viewed:

Why sleep when you can stay up all night overthinking?

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Most people think that T-Rexes can’t clap because they have short arms, but really it’s because they’re dead.

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Engagement photo shoots are so funny as a concept. Like girl, we believed you.

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When you look this sexy, they should let you leave work early.

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I run every day for 30 minutes. If I miss a day, I add 30 minutes to the next day. This has truly been a game changer. Tomorrow I’m supposed to run for 3 weeks.

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Just went to the Oreo website and hit “accept all cookies” … and now we wait.

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I literally never want to be the bigger person again. We can both go to hell.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Facebook:

Convinced my kid her harmonica didn’t work because the instructions were missing.

Making waves on WeChat:

Done with work today. The work day isn’t over, I’m just done with it.

Making waves on Slack:

You never realize how many curse words are in a song till you play it for your family.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

So many people say they love their Roomba, but you never see them set it free.

Breaking via Messenger:

That moment your alarm clock goes off in the morning and you don’t know whether to get dressed or fake an illness.

Freshly posted on Discord:

I’m old enough to remember when rainbows were in black and white.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Awesome that January is over, but rude that our reward for getting through it is February.

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How to write complaints: “Dear customer service, first of all, you should know that I am typing this with my middle finger.”

I’m gonna start cursing people out but with biblical phrases like I hope your crops wither and bear no fruit and the ravens eat your mustard seeds.

I think we all know who to blame for the generation of parents who put too many Ys in their kids’ names. Lynyrd Skynyrd.

Does anyone know if it’s possible to buy the transcripts of audiobooks? Thanks!

My idea of fun is watching something on the TV while I look at relevant Wikipedia articles on my phone.

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Surely, this is the hangover that will teach me my lesson.

When you have bad handwriting, notes to yourself are just fun little riddles you get to solve later.

Therapy? You mean birdwatching.

Pumpkin spice season comes earlier every year and yet some still deny climate change.

I’m thinking of maybe killing off a few characters in the book I’m writing. That will really spice up my autobiography.

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Channeling my inner pretzel to achieve expert-level bad posture.

Why do men have birthdays? It’s not like they’re growing up.

No offense, fellas, we love compliments, but a compliment from another woman means just a little bit more.

Call me constipated the way I don’t give a shit.

Just say, “My future husband would never do that,” and move on.

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Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

“Just circling back on this.” – “Take another lap.”

I like to begin every day by looking forward to the end of the day.

Ludacris once said “If you ain’t got no money take yo’ broke ass home” and I haven’t left the house since.

Workplace Wrapped: you had 60k minutes of meetings this year that could’ve been an email.

I always like to remember the time before the internet. It was so good not to know how cruel and stupid humanity really is.

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

How are they running out of oxygen if they’re breathing it right back into the submarine?

Do you ever think back about all the crazy stuff you did when you were younger, and wonder how you’re still alive?

If nothing lasts forever, will you be my nothing?

I can’t believe we live in the timeline where we invented a technology to make it so we can never trust a photo or video again.

I’d like to have a word with the groundhog before he starts working this year.

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How to write complaints: “Dear customer service, first of all, you should know that I am typing this with my middle finger.”

Related Funny Posts 🤝

I’m gonna start cursing people out but with biblical phrases like I hope your crops wither and bear no fruit and the ravens eat your mustard seeds.

My favorite thing to do when I see people I know in public is to pretend I didn’t.

I think we all know who to blame for the generation of parents who put too many Ys in their kids’ names. Lynyrd Skynyrd.

Does anyone know if it’s possible to buy the transcripts of audiobooks? Thanks!

My idea of fun is watching something on the TV while I look at relevant Wikipedia articles on my phone.

Before you just FaceTime me randomly, please don’t.

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