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Commentary:
"Looks like those nose-cancelling headphones are doing a top-notch job… maybe a little too well! 🤷‍♂️ Trust me, you're not the only one balancing fashion and functionality like a champ! 👓🎧 #Nosecancellingstruggles"

accident, accidentally, daily, daily life, falling, glasses, headphones, humor, i, keep, life, mishap, technology

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

The way some people hold their cell phone to make a call, I always think they’re trying to take a bite out of a sandwich.

0

2 months ago

always, behavior, bite, call, cell, cell phone, communication, funny observation, hold, humor, i, observation, people, phone, quirky, quirky behavior, sandwich, take, think, trying
Someday I’ll learn how to emotion like a proper human.

0

2 months ago

emotion, human, learn, learning, proper, someday
Doctors are always giving me Ibuprofen. Man, give me something I can sell.

0

2 months ago

always, doctor, doctors, give, giving, humor, i, ibuprofen, joke, man, me, medicine, pharmacy, prescription, sell, something
Welcome to your 40s: you’re not exhausted, that’s just your face now.

0

2 months ago

40s, aging, exhausted, face, humor, just, self-deprecation, welcome
I don’t need to bring anything to a knife fight, because I don’t go to knife fights.

0

2 months ago

anything, avoidance, bring, fight, humor, i, knife, knife fight, need, self-preservation
Babe, are you okay? You haven’t touched your dark humor all day.

0

4 months ago

babe, communication, concern, dark, dark humor, day, humor, joke, okay, relationship

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

87 shares on TikTok this month:

When people tell me “you’re going to regret that in the morning”, I sleep until noon because I am a problem solver.

89 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Researchers have discovered that birthdays are healthy. People who have more grow older.

56 shares on Telegram this month:

I hate when I gain 10 pounds for a role and then realize I’m not an actor.

72 shares on LinkedIn this month:

When did making sense stop making sense?

33 shares on Messenger this month:

When you are a leg-bouncer and someone asks you to stop, it’s like they’re asking you to stop your own heart.

75 shares on Threads this month:

Your twenties are for destroying and betraying yourself for nothing.

95 shares on Messenger this month:

Turns out “YouTube rabbit hole” is not a reliable science degree.

70 shares on WhatsApp this month:

She poured the milk before the cereal. It was not meant to be.

12 shares on X this month:

If stress burned calories, I’d be a supermodel by now.

75 shares on LinkedIn this month:

For all those wondering, yes, I am retired. I was tired yesterday, and I am tired again today.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇰 has downloaded:

The concept of a drive-by doesn’t really exist in the swamp biome; instead, people rap about doing bog-emerges.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has downloaded:

My age is news to me every single time I remember.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has copied:

Go ahead and get some sleep, everyone. I’ll stay up and handle the overthinking.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has bookmarked:

The Frankfurt School?? What are you majoring in, hot dog?

Someone from 🇮🇱 has viewed:

You can always tell when a man’s mustache is performative and not representative of his true spirit.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has copied:

Single in the womb, single till the tomb!

Someone from 🇸🇻 has viewed:

I’ve tasted being the bigger person, I’ve also tasted matching energy. I recommend no contact.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has viewed:

Walking that line between “The internet is great” and “The internet is a mistake” daily.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has bookmarked:

People who say “teamwork makes the dream work” are the reason that some people want to punch other people in the face.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has downloaded:

It’s called Boxing Day because you’re supposed to spend it eating boxes.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Messenger:

When I was young, I couldn’t wait to be older. Well, I wasn’t expecting this shit!

Going bananas on Slack:

I do not care how bad the relationship is, I am NOT calling a radio station for advice.

Just landed via TikTok:

I had a Russian Uber driver the other day. His name was Pikup Andropov.

Going bananas on Instagram:

I like it when it’s raining, because I can hold my umbrella really low and it makes everyone headless.

Just shared via Discord:

A lot of men actually do forgive cheating, as long as their homies don’t know.

Making waves on Facebook:

You should be allowed to speed if good music is playing.

Trending via Pinterest:

Nudes are outdated. Send me a video of you reading out loud so I know you’re not dumb.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

A single garbageman contributes more to society before lunch than every crypto trader and op-ed writer combined does in their lifetime.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Toddlers: the brutally honest roommates nobody asked for!

Spotted on Twitch:

Of course, because I’m wearing a white shirt, my coffee chose violence.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I accidentally bought a pair of nose-cancelling headphones and now my glasses keep falling off.

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

The way some people hold their cell phone to make a call, I always think they’re trying to take a bite out of a sandwich.

Someday I’ll learn how to emotion like a proper human.

Doctors are always giving me Ibuprofen. Man, give me something I can sell.

Welcome to your 40s: you’re not exhausted, that’s just your face now.

I don’t need to bring anything to a knife fight, because I don’t go to knife fights.

Babe, are you okay? You haven’t touched your dark humor all day.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨