Wordgag ツ

Commentary:
"Age is just a number, but 'any text received after 9pm will be answered at 6am' is a lifestyle choice! 😂⏰ Embracing that early riser energy like a pro! 🌅 #MorningPersonGoals"

6am, 9pm, after, age, am, answered, humorous, i, late, late night, night, old, response, sleep, text

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

Who you are when you’re stuck behind a slow driver is the real you.

0

2 months ago

driver, frustration, humor, identity, personality, rage, real, real you, road, road rage, slow, slow driver, stuck
You aren’t from the Midwest unless you can spin out in the snow, regain control and keep driving like nothing happened.

0

2 months ago

control, culture, driving, experience, humor, keep, Midwest, nothing, skills, snow, spin, winter
Whoever invented the gender reveal party needs to be launched into the sun.

0

2 months ago

exaggeration, gender, gender reveal, humor, invention, needs, party, reveal, satire, sun
I used to think adulthood was one crisis after another. I was wrong. Multiple crises. Concurrently. All at once. All the time. Forever.

0

2 months ago

adulthood, after, all the time, another, concurrently, crisis, forever, humor, i, life, life struggles, multiple, once, struggles, think, time, used, wrong
I’m gonna turn all this pain into something beautiful, like a tweet or a close friends story.

0

2 months ago

beautiful, beauty, close, close friend story, coping, coping mechanism, creativity, friend, friends, humor, mechanism, media, pain, social, social media, something, story, turn, tweet
I really don’t care what happens to me romantically anymore.

0

3 weeks ago

apathy, care, dating, emotion, humor, i, indifference, love, me, relationship, romance

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

12 shares on Instagram this month:

Part of fatherhood is becoming an expert in some obscure topic and teaching it to your children who stopped listening 30 minutes ago.

41 shares on X this month:

Humanity was engineered as a biological weapon but left abandoned early in its development.

14 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Seems like paleontologists always have a bone to pick.

68 shares on Threads this month:

Moms will vacuum the ceiling, alphabetize the spice rack, reorganize your socks, then say, “No one helps me around here!”

45 shares on Threads this month:

Most guys probably just have a foot fetish because their first girlfriend was a sock.

55 shares on Messenger this month:

The first Humans saw the sun go up and then back down, and so they decided to call it a day.

75 shares on X this month:

My favorite part about summer is when I get to go back inside where it’s air conditioned.

36 shares on YouTube this month:

Why would I go to my high school reunion? I didn’t want to be there the first time.

43 shares on Slack this month:

Just waiting for my laundry to be done so I can pop it in the dryer and forget about it again.

57 shares on YouTube this month:

I bet once Bigfoot tries cheeseburgers, he’s gonna wanna hangout with us all the time.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇷 has bookmarked:

Nobody seems more shocked, disappointed and dismayed than the person behind the post office counter when I arrive and say I’ve got something to post.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has bookmarked:

Social media may have been a mistake.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has copied:

The real morning people are the ones that wake up to call radio stations.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has viewed:

If Shakespeare were being born today, he’d be “Shaxxespyr.”

Someone from 🇬🇦 has downloaded:

I’m sorry to break it to you, but you need a soul to have a soulmate.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has copied:

I need to stop drinking so much. Did I say drinking? I meant thinking. I definitely need to drink more.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has downloaded:

They lie on the job descriptions, so lie on your resume.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has bookmarked:

I could never journal, I’d start lying in there too.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has viewed:

Little do my friends know they’re healing me every time we hang out.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has downloaded:

They say money talks, but mine just waves goodbye.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

Dear God, thank you for the job I have. But if you have a lottery win planned for me, I’m ready! Thank you.

Trending via Facebook:

Not to brag, but my date returned after using the restroom.

Just landed via Twitch:

It doesn’t matter how old you are, when it starts thundering and lightning, you go and sit at the window to watch.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

Lies I tell myself: Just one more cookie. Just one more movie. Just one more minute.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Taylor Swift is a psyop designed to get my wife to hum little tunes here and there.

Just landed via Slack:

I’m sick of the Microsoft Authenticator. Like, who would be logging in to do my work?

Spotted on TikTok:

Ironically jogging pants are mostly worn by the laziest people.

Seen just now on Slack:

There is no actual wolf in Wolf of Wall Street.

Spotted on TikTok:

Metallica’s “Nothing Else Matters” is my favorite song about that 5 minutes of sleep before the alarm goes off.

Spotted on Messenger:

I’m a little too self-aware to enjoy life, and a little too delusional to give up.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

I am “any text received after 9pm will be answered at 6am” years old.

Related Funny Posts 🤝

Who you are when you’re stuck behind a slow driver is the real you.

You aren’t from the Midwest unless you can spin out in the snow, regain control and keep driving like nothing happened.

Whoever invented the gender reveal party needs to be launched into the sun.

I used to think adulthood was one crisis after another. I was wrong. Multiple crises. Concurrently. All at once. All the time. Forever.

I’m gonna turn all this pain into something beautiful, like a tweet or a close friends story.

I really don’t care what happens to me romantically anymore.

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨