Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇳 has viewed:

I do not have a “body count.” I have a curious spirit.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has bookmarked:

They were called “TV programs” because they were literally programming us, bro.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has copied:

I was born a boy, but according to the packaging, I identify as a family of four.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has viewed:

Zoom is really only for one thing: realizing our dream of staring at ourselves while talking to other people.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has shared:

My boss told me to start every presentation with a joke. The first slide was my paycheck.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has viewed:

You know you’re getting old when you clean the house to the music you used to go out to.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has downloaded:

I have neither the patience nor the crayons to show you why this is a bad idea.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has downloaded:

One of the great joys in this life is looking at your pet’s weird little teeth.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has copied:

If swimming is such good exercise, explain whales.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has shared:

Staring sadly at the empty ice cream bowl that’s too small for licking.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,364

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Threads:

My retirement plan is recording a hit Christmas song. I just need to learn how to sing and write music.

Trending via Twitch:

If you want to impress me with your car, it should be an ice cream van.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Think about how many more lovers you’d have if a cross country high-speed rail existed. That’s what they are taking away from you.

Shared recently on Messenger:

You don’t become cooler with age, but you do care progressively less about being cool, which is the only true way of being cool. This is called the Geezer’s Paradox.

Breaking via X:

“You tryna hang?” Yeah bro, myself!

Breaking via Instagram:

Sometimes you need to turn the music up louder and sort your shit out.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

When there’s food around, our cat is like an adorable, fluffy shark circling round.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

The concept of dominant hands is hilarious to me. That one of our hands is just like, “No, I’m not helping.”

Just landed via Messenger:

Don’t give up, keep going. There are still so many disappointments waiting for you.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

I hate when I turn off my brights for an incoming vehicle and then realize it’s a Cybertruck.

I asked my boyfriend if he believed in trolls and elves and he said, “slightly.”

0
I asked my boyfriend if he believed in trolls and elves and he said, “slightly.”
Download image ↓

Commentary:
Looks like there's a bit of magic and mischief in the air! 🧝‍♂️✨ Who knew believing in trolls and elves could come with a side of skepticism? Maybe he just needs more convincing spells and proof from the enchanted forest! 🌿😄 #MagicAndSkepticism

, , , , , , , , , ,

Related Funny Quotes 🤝

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

83 shares on Slack this month:

Mornings would be fine if they started later.

79 shares on Twitch this month:

Can I sell my feelings on ebay, I don’t want them anymore.

74 shares on Discord this month:

Dating scene and the job market are the same right now, just stay where you are.

46 shares on Telegram this month:

Wow, this was a really long day of playing on my phone.

83 shares on TikTok this month:

I don’t trust anyone who gets enraged over messed-up fast food orders.

69 shares on Messenger this month:

This site could use some more people who like to argue about literally anything.

16 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Perfume is designed to be an invisible accessory. It’s not designed to instantly kill the canary when you entered the room.

53 shares on Facebook this month:

Playing Mortal Kombat at an arcade in the 90’s would fix me.

38 shares on WeChat this month:

Applying for jobs sometimes is wild, like how am I supposed to be passionate about a company I don’t even work for yet?

24 shares on Instagram this month:

Sign at the zoo says “don’t stick your hand in the alligator cage”. Thanks, but I’ll do my own research.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

18 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s so crazy how people are never down to just go get a burger. It didn’t used to be like this.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Saw a big spider crawl into my closet last night. He’s probably in there trying on all my clothes, acting like he’s me.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I bring a very “are you going to eat your pickle” vibe to lunch meetings.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Middle-aged math is going out drinking and feeling half your age then waking up the next morning feeling twice your age.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

No more relationships for me, the last one was an embarrassment to my gangsta.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

If I’m reading my Twitter feed correctly, Jennifer Aniston killed JFK.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

There’s an unwritten rule: if you need something and it’s available at your mom’s house, it’s yours.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Growing up, there was a Cody in every elementary school class, but as an adult, I haven’t met a Cody in years. Where did they go?

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I wish I was a kid again so everyone would be proud of me for taking a long nap.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

The peace of not knowing.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

0 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,269

Funny Quotes Topics

17,387

Funny Quotes Images

15,269

Updated

Dec 31, 2025

Users Online

3,533

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇿 has shared:

As I get older, I’m understanding why everything needs to be done before 12 p.m.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has viewed:

My morning routine includes 10 minutes of sitting on my bed and thinking about how tired I am.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has viewed:

Whoever has my voodoo doll, please put some money in its pocket.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has viewed:

Can’t. Too busy saving daylight.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has viewed:

I will never understand people who don’t gasp dramatically at rainbows.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has bookmarked:

My muffin top has become a full blown birthday cake.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has shared:

Welcome to adulthood. Everyone’s tired here.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has copied:

Why waste words or gestures when a raised eyebrow is enough to make a statement?

Someone from 🇺🇾 has shared:

You are closer to the street than you will ever be to any billionaire.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has shared:

“You look tired”. No, I’m just ugly.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on X:

Dearest, I beg of you, sleep properly and go for walks.

Broadcasted on Threads:

My immune system told me it’s a lover not a fighter.

Seen just now on Discord:

Every time I spend my own money, I feel like somebody needs to reimburse me.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Reverse cowgirl because first dates are awkward.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Instead of working on making myself a better person, I am going to purchase a cool new jacket.

Going bananas on X:

Just got my steps in by avoiding someone I know.

Spotted on Messenger:

I had the most impatient and rudest cashier. I’m never using self-checkout again.

Live now on Twitch:

My IQ used to be higher than my weight, but now I’m fat and dumb.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

Come on, karma, do your job.

Just landed via TikTok:

Me: what can possibly go wrong though. Anxiety: I’m glad you asked.

© 2025. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴